When I Thought I Was Reborn, My Family Turned Out to Be a Huge Landmine - Chapter 22: The Resolve to Step In
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- Chapter 22: The Resolve to Step In
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Chapter 22: The Resolve to Step In
“… talk to her… huh?”
After parting ways with Arika, I walked straight home. Reflecting on how Arika and Nee-san lived in a world unknown to me, and how they continued to cherish me even after rebirth… it filled me with joy. But this joy was tinged with complexity.
“Unchanging feelings even after rebirth… huh. It makes me wonder if I’m truly worthy of such intense emotions directed at me.”
I genuinely felt this way. Even if the feelings they bore were too great for me to shoulder, thinking that I was unworthy of them seemed disrespectful to Arika. I needed to give this serious thought and come up with an answer to face Arika properly.
“…”
Suddenly, I staggered, almost losing my balance. It wasn’t exactly nausea, but an unsettling feeling washed over me. Leaning against a utility pole, I waited for this discomfort to fade. Amidst this, I saw a flickering shadow before me.
“…Who?”
I couldn’t tell if it was a hallucination or if someone was actually there. The shadow, mirroring my exact appearance, peered at me with darkened eyes. Before I could ask who it was, the figure spoke.
“Surely, you’re not planning to accept them? Those who tore our family apart, the very people who caused our suffering!”
“…What are you talking about?”
An overwhelming sense of unease surged through my body, but it gradually subsided as I took deep breaths to calm myself. When I looked up again, the shadow I had seen had vanished completely. Although it sounded like a mechanical voice, it was unmistakably similar to my own. I wondered if it was an auditory hallucination, but it felt too real… What exactly did it want to tell me?
“…No point in just standing here.”
Despite feeling a vague sense of eeriness, I continued walking towards my home. I felt as though someone was watching me from behind, but I didn’t look back and kept moving forward. The darkened path was unnerving, but the sight of the lights at home brought a sense of relief. As I opened the door and entered, I noticed Nee-san’s shoes, meaning she was home. On the other hand, Nii-san didn’t seem to have returned yet.
“I’m home~!”
I called out as I took off my shoes… and then I realized Nee-san wasn’t there to greet me. It wasn’t particularly strange, but usually, Nee-san always greeted me when she was at home. That’s why it felt odd.
“…Hmm.”
I looked at the shoes again; Nee-san had definitely returned. Puzzled, I headed towards the living room and saw a somewhat unusual scene.
Just as I thought, Nee-san was back, but apparently tired, she had dozed off on the sofa. She was sleeping so deeply that she didn’t wake up even when I opened the door, and didn’t stir as I approached close enough to look at her face.
“…Maybe I should cover her with a blanket.”
I thought about waking her up, but seeing how peacefully Nee-san was sleeping made me hesitant to disturb her. After draping a blanket over her, I decided to sit and wait for a while.
“…”
As I idly fiddled with my smartphone to pass the time, I heard Nee-san’s voice.
“…stop…stop it…fathe…”
“?”
I wondered if she had woken up, but upon looking at her, she seemed still asleep. Rather, something seemed off… She appeared to be having a nightmare, gripping the blanket tightly as if trying to escape from something. I couldn’t just sit there, so I gently shook her shoulder.
“Nee-san, Nee-san, are you okay?”
I called out softly, almost whispering in her ear, and she suddenly woke up with a start. However, the next moment, I was struck with a great force and thrown back, hitting my back against the table.
“Ouch…!”
After a dull thud, a pain spread across my back. All that had happened was Nee-san, just awoken, had pushed me away forcefully. Her eyes, filled with fear upon waking, looked at me. But as soon as she realized it was me, her expression changed, and she hurried over to me.
“Ren, Ren! Are you okay!? Are you hurt anywhere?”
“Ah, yeah… I’m fine.”
Nee-san anxiously checked for any injuries by touching various parts of my body. While she patted me down, I stole glances at her face, thinking that this was the first time I had seen Nee-san like this. She must have mistaken me for someone else, but who could make Nee-san so distraught? I couldn’t imagine.
“I’m so sorry, I really am sorry…”
“I’ve told you many times, it’s okay, Nee-san. Look, I’m fine.”
After confirming that I was indeed unharmed, Nee-san finally seemed to relax, letting out a relieved sigh. I wondered if she had a scary dream. The thought of it made me uneasy. The idea that asking about it could somehow change things lingered vaguely in my mind.
“…”
“Ren?”
…There’s too much I don’t know. It’s not that I have no memories of the past; I clearly remember the days spent with Nee-san and Nii-san. Yet, I feel there’s still something important that I need to uncover.
After taking a deep breath, I faced Nee-san.
“Nee-san, can we talk for a bit?”
“Talk?”
“Yeah. I want to know more about you, Nee-san… I feel like if I don’t, I’ll end up regretting it.”
I was at a loss for words, unsure of how to express what I wanted to know. If my curiosity was linked to Nee-san’s earlier state, it might bring up painful memories for her. Yet, despite this possibility, I still wanted to know more about Nee-san. When I voiced this desire, Nee-san looked surprised at first, but then chuckled as if realizing something.
“You want to know about your big sister, huh? It sounds like something out of a romance, but did Arika put you up to this?”
…Really, why are women so perceptive? It’s true that Arika had suggested I talk to Nee-san, but that was just the catalyst. My genuine desire to learn more about Nee-san was not based on anyone else’s prompting.
“Let’s sit down for now. Come, sit next to me.”
“…Shouldn’t we sit facing each other for a conversation like this?”
“I don’t want to talk about the past unless I’m touching Ren… I-I mean, it’s not like I just want to touch Ren for no reason, okay!?”
Nee-san, that’s such a cliché. But if I don’t do as she says, she might not open up. As I sat down next to her, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I almost sighed, realizing this was bound to happen, and then noticed something else… Nee-san’s body was trembling slightly.
“…I love you, Ren, so much that it’s unbearable. But I hate it when you so easily step into my heart, especially when I was trying to sort out my feelings and give up on you.”
“You hate it? That’s sad to hear. I really like you, Nee-san.”
“Idiot, it’s just a play on words. A me who hates you wouldn’t be me at all. Even if you hated me, my love for you wouldn’t change.”
As I gently stroked Nee-san’s head, who clung to me and trembled, she narrowed her eyes in comfort. It felt a bit awkward to do this to someone older, but if it could bring Nee-san even a moment of peace, then it was worth it. While I caressed her head, Nee-san, staying close, eventually began to speak.
“So you’ve talked to Arika. Did she tell you about the reincarnation?”
“Yeah… From there, I started thinking. The dream you told me about, where I had died – that was about a past life, wasn’t it?”
As I asked, Nee-san nodded.
“That’s right… I cried until there were no tears left, so much so that I felt I had lost the will to live. A world without Ren was just so dull, not just for me… but for Arika and Ryo too. We all realized how important Ren was.”
“…So, even in that world, Nee-san loved me.”
“Yes… although it seems it was a one-sided feeling.”
“Eh?”
I tilted my head, puzzled by Nee-san’s words. Indeed, there are countless different worlds that branch out, and in some of them, contrary to how I feel now, I might dislike Nee-san and the others. Maybe that’s what she was referring to… I waited for Nee-san to continue.
“It seems that in that world, Ryo and I were resented by Ren. We were seen as the cause of our family’s breakdown, and our way of living caused him pain.”
“…”
“After Ren passed away, there were many things we had to deal with. When it was all over, I went to Ren’s room. We thought about cleaning it out, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. We felt that doing so would sever our last connection to Ren.”
…Indeed, clearing out the room of a deceased family member is a common but painful task. The thought of erasing all traces of a person who was once alive is indescribably difficult.
“…I couldn’t bring myself to enter the room, as it would make me want to cry, but that day, for some reason, I went in. And there, I found it — a letter left by Ren, filled with resentment towards us, almost like a suicide note.”
“…Is that what led to the idea of the family being torn apart?”
“Yes, but in the end, I thought we should have talked it out. Even if Ren, who was so fond of ‘him,’ didn’t believe in us, maybe if I had explained why I had to turn our real father into the police, things might have been different…”
Nee-san paused and shook her head.
“Ultimately, it’s a story from a past world, and there’s no point dwelling on its outcomes. But, you see, the part about turning our father over to the police is true in this world too.”
“…That is…”
I have little memory of my father… well, I do remember a bit. A memory of being held in the arms of a kind-looking man, whom I adored as my father. But then he was gone, and it was Nee-san and Nii-san who filled that void of loneliness… In a way, I never gave it much thought.
“I don’t mind discussing it now; it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. But it’s not a pleasant story. Do you still want to hear it?”
I nodded to Nee-san’s words.
The story I was about to hear might be beyond anything I could imagine. It was frightening, but I wanted to listen, hoping to alleviate some of Nee-san’s suffering.
“Okay. …Just promise me, no matter how disturbing it is, you won’t reject me.”
“I would never reject you, Nee-san.”
I gripped her hand firmly as I spoke. Nee-san gripped my hand back and began her story.
“When I was in middle school, and Ren was in the lower grades of elementary school… our father, he… he raped me.”
“………”
It felt like at that moment, our space was cut off from the rest of the world, as all sound seemed to vanish.