When I Started Dating My Childhood Friend, Whom I Had a Crush On for a Long Time, It Turns Out That She’s a Devoted B*tch with High Sex-Drive, so What Should I Do? - 35 - Epilogue: Sometimes Pure, Sometimes Slutty, and Sometimes Yandere (END)
Epilogue: Sometimes Pure, Sometimes Slutty, and Sometimes Yandere
I think people are ugly, greedy, and foolish creatures—that’s what I think from my experience.
* * *
From the day I realized my feelings for Sei-kun, my world became vividly colorful.
It’s often said that love makes the world more vibrant, and it seems that’s true. My world actually looked different before and after falling in love.
Beautiful things shone even more beautifully, and ugly things looked even more dull… The world had transformed, as if a dirty filter had been wiped clean with a cloth.
In this world, the most beautiful thing was Sei-kun. When he appeared in my field of vision, I had to squint at his dazzling brightness. I became self-conscious about every move I made in front of him. Was I smiling nicely? Did I look silly? Those were the only things I could think about.
On the other hand, I began to feel a sense of superiority when Sei-kun treated me especially well. He was special in my world. He was everything to me. So I often wished that I was the one who attracted his attention the most.
As my feelings for him grew, I wanted to express my true feelings to him. In other words, I wanted to confess to him. I wanted to confess, start dating him, and kiss him… At the time, I didn’t have any knowledge beyond that, but I couldn’t help but feel a heat in my lower abdomen when I thought about being with him.
However, this led to the problem of how to confess.
Verbally? No way. I would probably stutter out of embarrassment, get tongue-tied, and if I got rejected on the spot, I would cry. I would die.
A love letter? Sei-kun didn’t like reading, so that was out of the question. Once, I recommended a novel I liked, and he came back with the manga adaptation, saying, “I can’t read books with only text, they’re boring.” So a love letter was out of the question. I didn’t want to burden Sei-kun.
But then, how could I convey my feelings?
… After thinking about Sei-kun, thinking and thinking, I finally found the answer.
Something even Sei-kun could read.
In other words, the answer I found was, I should confess through a “manga.”
* * *
In the end, my manga confession failed.
No, it was more of a crushing defeat. Because Sei-kun didn’t even realize it was a “confession.”
At the time, I was at a loss for what to do, but Sei-kun seemed to like my manga, so I thought, “Well, that’s okay.”
Also, at Sei-kun’s strong recommendation, I decided to submit my manga (which was a love letter in the form of a manga) to a manga contest.
In reality, I didn’t think something like this would win an award, but for some reason it received high praise, and an editor was assigned to me, and by the time I entered middle school, I was publishing a single-volume manga.
The world is unpredictable; this hit it big. Just a love letter for him. I think people are bored and like to stick their noses into other people’s love lives.
Anyway, I made my debut as a manga artist in this way, and through various connections, I even ended up doing interviews in magazines… But just before the summer vacation of my first year of middle school, an incident occurred.
A boy who had called me “ugly” in elementary school said, “I’ll date you.”
Let me tell you that story.
* * *
It’s not much of a story.
That day, I was on cleaning duty after school.
I watched Sei-kun leave the classroom, saying, “I’ll wait for you in the library until you’re done.” Then, the four of us, two boys and one girl in the same cleaning group, cleaned the classroom.
It was a simple cleaning job: sweeping the floor with a broom, collecting the trash, and wiping the desktops with a damp cloth. With four of us, the cleaning was finished in no time.
After everything was done, one of the boys in the same cleaning group (I don’t remember his name or his face) said to me, “Muratsuki, can I talk to you for a moment?”
I was honestly bothered because Sei-kun was waiting for me in the library, but I replied, “What is it?” The other two in the same group seemed to read the room, and they quickly left the classroom.
As the three of them disappeared down the hallway, the boy who had spoken to me opened his mouth.
“Muratsuki, you’ve become… amazing lately.”
“Huh…”
“You made your manga debut, and your photo was even in a magazine. You’re like a celebrity. You’ve become incredibly beautiful too.”
I thought, “Aren’t celebrities and manga artists different?” while listening to his words.
Then, I replied to him,
“Can I go now?”
“Oh, no. I mean, I wanted to talk about something else, like… um, how about we date?”
“Huh?”
“Ah, no. What I meant by ‘talk’ isn’t that, it’s more like… how should I put it… why don’t we date? Or something like that.”
“Haa?”
“More like, I’ll date you. It should be alright, yeah? You’re probably not dating anyone right now anyway.”
I thought, What is this guy saying?
At first, I couldn’t understand what he was saying. But gradually, I became uncomfortable, and the sentence that eventually came out of my mouth was,
“Excuse me, I have to go.”
“Hey, wait a minute! Listen to me!”
As I tried to leave the classroom, he called out to me.
But I didn’t think his words were even worth listening to, so I left the classroom in a hurry.
From behind, I heard the cruel words,
“Don’t get too cocky just because you’ve become a little famous!”
* * *
Since then, people who approach me like him have increased.
I started paying more attention to my appearance than before, even a little, to impress Sei-kun. I had also achieved success as a manga artist, and more and more people became interested in me because of my external appearance.
Because of these circumstances, I started receiving frequent confessions from people who had never looked at me before.
One person said, “You’re so beautiful.” Another said, “I was moved by your manga, and I’m sure you’re also a wonderful person!” Another said, “Because celebrities are cool.”
Looking at these people, I started to think, “How childish” . I didn’t like them from the beginning, but through these experiences, I began to feel a strong disgust towards men.
At the same time, it strengthened a certain conviction in me.
Yes.
The conviction that the only man I wanted to touch in this world was Sei-kun.
* * *
As that conviction strengthened more and more, I began to think, “Shouldn’t I confess to Sei-kun again?”
However, the situation and my values were different from when I was in elementary school.
The fact that I had come to strongly dislike men other than Sei-kun also meant that my dependent emotions towards Sei-kun had deepened.
What if I get rejected? What if he hates me? Those emotions only deepened day by day as I became more conscious of confessing.
To comfort that fear, I turned to erotic novels. Through erotic novels, I was immersed in the sea of pleasure, and all that was left was comfort and peace. The men and women in the story world were just the two of us, Sei-kun and me. I found it very attractive, and how many times was I fulfilled by the imaginary Sei-kun?
Still, fantasy is not reality. Eventually, it would end. And I would realize that Sei-kun and I were still not together.
Knowledge of sex and pleasure temporarily filled me, but it was not a “connection.”
Ah.
I want to connect with Sei-kun. I want to connect deeply with him, to the point where our souls merge.
* * *
The more I longed for him, the more I shivered with the fear of losing him.
I was no longer the person who had given Sei-kun a love letter in the form of a manga. I couldn’t summon up such reckless courage now. The world was ugly, foolish, and greedy, and the only thing that could protect me from that fear was Sei-kun. But if I put my love into words, the possibility of losing it would follow.
To distract myself from that fear, I filled my emotions with work and pleasure.
In terms of anesthesia against the fear of reality, there wasn’t much difference between drawing manga and masturbating for me.
Whether it made money or not was also not something I was very interested in.
The only thing I wanted, as I always had, was just one thing.
A “connection” with Sei-kun that I could believe in.
* * *
Seeking and seeking, seeking and seeking, and at the same time, shivering with fear, half a year had passed since I entered high school, and I still hadn’t confessed to Sei-kun anything, when one day…
“What’s wrong, Sei-kun? You called me here out of the blue.”
I was summoned by Sei-kun to the back of the school building.
“Ah, yeah… I just wanted to talk.”
Sei-kun averted his eyes from me a little, looking a bit embarrassed.
Then, he tried to say something, opened his mouth, but closed it again, scratching his head with one hand, and then looked straight at me, clenching his fist and speaking clearly.
“Mari! I’ve been hiding this all along, but I like you…”
At that moment, my emotions exploded in an instant.
“Yay, I’m so happy! I’ve been waiting for this! I love Sei-kun! I love him so much too!”
“Huh?”
Sei-kun liked me too!
Sei-kun had also been thinking of me!
I’m so happy, so happy, so happy, so happy!
There’s nothing more happier than this! I couldn’t express it in words!
My body was dominated by my emotions. The fear and anxiety of losing that had been tormenting me disappeared in an instant, and my body was moving as my soul desired.
“Mm, chu~uuuu ♡”
“Mmngh!?”
At this moment, I already knew.
“Sei-kun, I love you ♡ Love, love ♡ I’ve always loved you, always always always ♡”
“Mm, ah, Mari, stop… nnngh!?”
“Ahh, mm, Sei-kun’s lips are so tasty… chu, mm, slurp ♡”
“Mmngh mmngh mmngh mmngh mmngh!”
――The most handsome person in this world is right here in front of me, Sei-kun.
That’s why I want to make Sei-kun the happiest person in the world.
Using all of me, to make him happy.
[TL: The END! Hope you guys enjoyed reading! Sorry for the gap between uploading the chaps. If you want read an echi yandere please go read Idiot Prince which I’m tling….it’s inconsistent but um I’m working on it….
It has yandere fml and yandere imouto ]
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