Mari’s Recollections 2 ~Maybe this is the reason why an introvert became lewd~

A boy slightly shorter than me.

It didn’t take long for me to learn his name was Seimu Tsurai; he introduced himself to me without asking.

To be honest, I couldn’t find any interest in him at first.

He was just an annoying, disruptive presence in my quiet and peaceful world.

Despite my feelings, he started visiting the school library frequently and talking to me whenever he could.

“You always read books with letters, don’t you, Mari?”

Or,

“Hey, hey, are ‘novels’ fun to read?”

Or,

“You have such beautiful eyes when you’re reading!”

…and so on.

At the time, I really thought he was an annoying nuisance. On top of that, he called me by my first name without any hesitation… I thought he was so rude back then.

Even though I ignored him relentlessly, his days of talking to me continued uninterrupted.

One day, about three months later, I finally said something to him: “Please stop doing this.”

It was after school one day. In the elementary school library, with no librarian in sight, we were alone in that space, the setting sun shining through the window in a red hue, and then…

He… Sei-kun, came over to me as I was reading and started talking to me, as he always did.

But that day was particularly… very annoying.

“Why do you always talk to me? You know I’m ‘a boring and unpleasant person to talk to,’ so please don’t involve yourself with me. Don’t talk to me.”

So I ended up saying those words to him.

“I don’t know what you think of me, but talking to me will only make you feel bad. It seems I make people feel uncomfortable just by talking. I’m an unsociable, humorless, and boring person, so you’ll only lose by being with me.”

To which he replied,

“Oh, I did it! Mari finally talked to me!”

…I thought he was stupid at the time.

In the end, I ended up having a conversation with him, even though he pushed me into it.

It was a very one-sided communication, with him talking about various things and me giving him uninterested responses.

He was shock itself to me.

No matter how coldly I treated him or how unsociable I was, he never left me.

No matter how much I ignored him, he didn’t seem to mind.

He would talk on his own, satisfy himself, and look happy on his own—a type of person I had never met before.

At the same time, I began to understand a few things around this time.

First, he didn’t care much about other people’s eyes.

Second, he was somewhat isolated from the people around him.

Perhaps he felt a sense of sympathy for me, in his own way.

Sympathy between people who couldn’t fit in with the group… and therefore tended to be isolated.

The reason I felt that way was simple.

I, too, remembered the sympathy I felt for him—a person similar to myself.

“Mari! Why don’t you come to my house today?”

Sei-kun said that to me about half a year after we met.

“What’s up, Sei-kun? Out of the blue?”

“Because it’s so cold in the library here!”

Sei-kun said that, exhaling white breath.

I see, and so I was satisfied with his explanation.

It was already winter, and the air conditioning in the library was old, so our breath was starting to turn white.

Even if we were wearing thick clothes, the air that made us shiver to the core was something he couldn’t bear, I suppose.

I felt the same way, so I nodded and said, “Okay, I understand.” Then… I suddenly asked him something that came to mind.

“Can someone like me come to your house, Sei-kun?”

“Huh? Why? It’s fine.”

“Huh?”

“Huh? Did I say something weird?”

“N-no… no…”

I quickly shook my head.

At that time, I was a person who didn’t have much confidence in myself. I didn’t have anyone to talk to except Sei-kun, was kept at a distance by those around me, and was treated by my family as an unsociable, gloomy child.

It was so strange to be accepted by Sei-kun like this.

“Well, never mind. Let’s go!”

Sei-kun said that and led me out of the library, holding my hand.

I remember his fingertips, which touched me, and I felt strangely warm even though it was cold.

　＊＊＊

After that, we left school and headed to his house.

As we walked together, I noticed my heart was pounding. I felt like I was going crazy. Now, I realize it was the beginning of love, but at the time, I thought I must have developed a heart condition.

My heart was still pounding when we arrived at Sei-kun’s house.

In fact, when he showed me to his room, he even asked me, “Mari, do you have a fever?” He seemed concerned. Apparently, my face was bright red.

“N-no, I’m fine. I just got hot walking here.”

I said that hurriedly, trying to cover up my flushed face. I felt like I had to say that.

“U-um, sorry, but can I use the bathroom?”

“Oh, do you need to poop?”

“N-no, but…”

“Well, whatever. The toilet is at the end of the hallway to the right.”

“O-okay. Thank you.”

I used the bathroom, a little annoyed at Sei-kun’s lack of tact.

I sat on the toilet and let out a hot sigh, “Haa…” I wanted to calm my heart and face, which were still hot.

“I… what’s happening to me? I feel my heart beating so loud…”

My immature heart, which didn’t know what love was, could only be confused.

But as I was, my head gradually cooled down, and my heartbeat slowly calmed down.

Once my heart stopped pounding, I flushed the toilet and left the bathroom.

As I tried to open the door to Sei-kun’s room, I heard a voice from inside.

“Seimu, I thought you brought a friend home for a change, but she’s quite a gloomy girl, isn’t she? You might want to think about whether you want to hang out with her.”

It was Sei-kun’s mother’s voice.

When I greeted her at the entrance, she had a kind and gentle face and voice. I should have felt reassured and bowed my head in return.

But she said that to Sei-kun in a voice that felt sticky and unpleasant.

I wanted to run away, I felt nauseous, I was scared and frozen in place—I felt like I was going to go crazy if Sei-kun turned against me.

Just as I was about to panic, I heard Sei-kun’s voice from inside the room.

“Which part? She’s a nice girl.”

“Anyway, it’s my choice who I befriend. Don’t say bad things about Mari when you don’t even know her.”

“H–”

Hearing those words, I went back to the bathroom quietly and sat on the toilet again, covering my face with my hands.

My heart felt like it was going to burst, and my heartbeat was racing again.

My head felt like it was boiling, and my upper body was hot.

And for some reason… I felt heat in my lower abdomen. I also felt moisture in my underwear.

When I took off my skirt and underwear, I saw a stain different from urine, slightly darkening the crotch.

“This is…”

At the time, I didn’t know why this stain appeared. However, on an instinctive level, I understood that I got wet because I was thinking of Sei-kun.  [TL: ……that’s fate ig]

At the same time, I realized that my life existed only to meet Sei-kun.

And at the same time, I understood that the only beautiful existence in this world was Sei-kun.

That’s right—I fell in love.