A Small Talk About One’s Sweetheart

Just in time for the morning homeroom, and as soon as it ended:

“Yo, Seimu! Cutting it close today, huh?”

DT called out to me before the first period started.

“…I’ve got a lot going on, you know.”

“Come on, admit it. You were just fooling around with your girlfriend first thing in the morning, weren’t you?”

“What!? No way!”

Caught off guard, I ended up stammering.

Seeing my reaction, DT grinned widely, full of curiosity.

“Oh? Oh ho, what’s this? You’re sounding awfully flustered. Could it be…?”

“Cut it out with that annoying expression and tone.”

“Haha! Well, whatever. I think it’s a good thing you’re getting along with your girlfriend. Listening to someone brag about their relationship is way better than hearing them complain about it a thousand times over!”

“Oh, really? Actually, Mari is just so cute, you know… Lately, she’s been waking me up every morning. Waking up to her voice is just heavenly, man. Seriously, it gets me so pumped every morning. Mari is just the cutest. The absolute cutest in the world.”

“Wow, you really went off there. What the heck, man…?”

DT looked at me with a face of utter disbelief.

“You said you’d listen to me gush about her…”

“I thought I made it clear that listening to you brag about her is only slightly better than hearing you complain…”

“So basically, you want to hear all about Mari’s cuteness, right? Hmmm, I’m in a bind… Mari’s got so many cute sides to her that I don’t even know where to start.”

“Please, go talk to the wall about it by yourself.”

DT pointed to the back wall of the classroom, clearly signaling that he couldn’t handle any more of this conversation.

What a lousy friend. I’ll make sure to treat him to a nice, long session of bragging about Mari later.

As I made that mental note, something suddenly came to mind, and I decided to ask DT about it.

“Listen, DT. There’s something I want to ask you.”

“Huh? What’s up all of a sudden?”

“Do you… think I look, like, pretty?”

“?????”

The most massive “What the hell is this guy saying?” look hit me right in the face.

“And how exactly am I supposed to respond to something that creepy first thing in the morning?”

His words were as harsh as the look he gave me, making me realize how badly I phrased that question. But instead of backing down, I decided to play along, taking a pose like a gravure idol, with my hands on my hips.

Then, I put on the most exaggeratedly creepy voice I could muster.

“So? Don’t you find me… ir-resis-tible, darling?♡”

“…”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!”

DT wordlessly turned on his heel, trying to walk away. I quickly grabbed his arm, desperately trying to stop him from leaving.

“Let go of me! I don’t recall signing up to be friends with a pervert!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I admit it, that was even creepy by my standards! I’m, like, slightly sorry, so please forgive me!”

“Slightly?”

“Actually, I’m really sorry. So please, forgive me? You know you’re the only friend I’ve got.”

“Sheesh… you’re hopeless, Seimu…”

With a sigh, DT turned back to face me, then nodded for me to continue with a simple “So?”

“So, what’s up with the whole ‘pretty’ thing you suddenly brought up? Still kind of creepy, man.”

“Oh, right. So, this morning, Mari said something to me…”

I recounted the incident from this morning to DT.

“I just don’t get what exactly Mari sees in me that she’d call ‘pretty,’ so I thought maybe if I asked someone else, it might make more sense.”

“Hmm, I see…”

This time, DT seemed to understand, crossing his arms and tilting his head thoughtfully.

“Sure, Seimu, you’re annoying and kinda creepy, but some people might find that amusing to watch. But ‘pretty’? Nah, that’s not even close.”

“Could you stop dissing me so casually?”

Is he still holding a grudge? It stings that I can’t even deny it…

“Well, you guys did just start dating. Maybe she’s seeing you through the lens of being smitten, or she’s just biased… Or maybe she’s got some idealized image of you?”

“Idealized, huh… Yeah, that might be it.”

“Just try not to shatter that little fantasy of hers, okay?”

DT chuckled as if it were someone else’s problem. Then, suddenly, he got serious.

“Speaking of being careful… You probably already know this, but keep an eye on how others react, alright?”

“What’s with the sudden shift in tone?”

“From an outsider’s perspective, Mari seems way more vulnerable than you do.”

DT smirked slightly.

“She’s too oblivious to how people see her, and she doesn’t seem to realize her own worth. Even from the sidelines, it’s nerve-wracking to watch.”

“…”

“I’m your friend and care about you, so I’m happy for you. But sadly, everyone thinks idols aren’t supposed to love anyone personally.”

“…”

“Anyway, looks like class is about to start. Catch you later.”