When I Helped Out At My Classy Classmate's Family Home, They Started Going All Out To Close In On Me From Every Angle. - Chapter 53: Uncool Me And Cool Ayame —1

Uncool Me And Cool Ayame —1

My first love was in kindergarten. She was one of the caretakers—a gentle and kind woman. I remember following her around like a little duckling, just to get her attention.

As I moved on to elementary school, I found myself drawn to many different girls—the class favorite, an upperclassman who looked after me, a girl from the neighboring class, and even an older girl who lived nearby. Whenever I found someone charming, I would fall for them almost instantly.

Even as a child, I recognized that I was prone to falling in love easily. I figured that someone described as “romantic at heart” must be someone like me.

By the time I entered middle school, my mother’s job had stabilized, and we moved away from my grandfather’s house. This meant leaving behind my elementary school friends, and as a result, I ended up completely alone.

It was during this time that Shuuji and Chika reached out to me.

It didn’t take long for me to grow fond of them. I liked Shuuji as a friend and Chika as someone of the opposite sex.

I always thought that one day, I would date Chika. One day, I would confess my feelings to her.

“We’ve decided to start dating.”

Shuuji told me this during the spring of our second year in middle school. Standing beside him, Chika beamed with happiness.

At that moment, I thought to myself—

Well, I guess it can’t be helped.

I gave up so easily. I even had the composure to sincerely congratulate them.

And that realization shocked me.

I had truly wanted to be with her. I had decided I would confess. I believed I was in love with Chika.

Yet, the moment I learned that she had become Shuuji’s girlfriend, those feelings disappeared—almost as if they had never existed.

I was stunned by how indifferent I was. I was terrified of myself.

At the same time, a question arose in my mind.

Had what I considered love really been love at all?

Love is supposed to be a special emotion, something that comes with passion. But could something so profound really vanish so effortlessly?

Even after that, I continued to be drawn to various women. Whenever I found someone captivating, I quickly grew fond of them.

Yet, not once did I feel a passion strong enough to call love.

All I came to understand was the depth of my own indifference.

I am drawn to Ayame. I am aware of her as a woman. I want to be by her side. There is no falsehood in these feelings.

However, I also find Mikage—who is usually dignified but occasionally reveals a shy or gentle side—attractive as a woman.

In the end, I truly am a fickle man.

To be with me, Ayame sought the help of many people. She went to great lengths, doing everything she could to make her love come true.

Her love is profound, unwavering in its devotion.

Someone like me has no right to answer such feelings.

There is no way I could ever be allowed to.

***

The morning after we returned from the hot spring trip, I found myself standing in front of Ayame’s room.

Since coming back, she had shut herself in, not stepping out even once. She hadn’t shown up for breakfast this morning either.

I raised my hand to knock—then stopped.

“I was the one who hurt Ayame. I have no right to face her now, do I?”

My hand, once poised to knock, dropped limply to my side.

“Please, leave Ayame-sama alone.”

As I stood frozen in place, Mikage emerged from the adjacent room. She wore her usual composed expression, but within her jet-black pearl eyes burned a rage as fierce as fire itself.

It was obvious who that fury was directed at. Of course, it was me. She had every reason to despise me—to loathe me—for hurting the master she so deeply revered.

“I cannot leave Ayame-sama alone. I will be absent from school today as well, to stay by her side.”

“…I see. Understood.”

Staying here any longer would only further provoke Mikage. Nodding, I turned on my heel to leave.

Just as I took a step forward, I heard the sharp sound of teeth grinding.

“If only you had accepted Ayame-sama’s feelings, none of this would have happened…!!”

Her furious voice rang out.

Startled, I flinched and turned back—only to be met with an expression of sheer, unbridled anger. Mikage’s glare was searing, as if it could scorch my very skin.

Her clenched fists trembled, as though she was barely holding herself back from striking me.

For a moment, I shrank back, but then I planted my feet firmly on the ground, refusing to move.

She was right. If I had accepted Ayame’s feelings, she wouldn’t have withdrawn into herself like this. No matter how much she cursed me, no matter if she hit me, I deserved it.

Bracing myself, I met Mikage’s gaze head-on.

But she didn’t hurl insults at me. Nor did she raise her fists.

Instead, she bit her lip as if swallowing her anger, then bowed deeply.

“…No. You have every right to choose whom you wish to be with, Kanda-san. I was wrong to try to impose my own will upon you. My apologies.”

I was left speechless.

A slow, festering pain spread through my chest.

I never knew that being forgiven could hurt this much.

If only she had cursed me instead—it would have been so much easier to bear…