When I Was Presumed Dead, They Became Unhinged Unknowingly - Chapter 14

POV: Karen

“Satoru, isn’t this wrong? Why? Why did you go away without telling me?” 

An empty classroom after school. 

I sat on Satoru’s chair and put my head on the desk, hoping to feel his warmth, but all I could feel was a cold chair and desk. There was no warmth left anymore.

My words didn’t get a reply, and evaporated into thin air. 

Maybe someday, suddenly, he might show up. I went to school just to go see Satoru, thinking that he would be there and pet me, but he never showed up, and I wasted my days in vain. 

I didn’t want to cling to someone like this, but Satoru is too important to me. 

Satoru’s death made me want to commit suicide right after him. I was reminded once again that Satoru was all I had after he was gone. It’s true that friends are important, and so is family. It’s just that Satoru was more important than that.

I have heard the expression “a hole in your heart” before, so this is how it feels like. 

Abruptly, many times now, I cried again. My confidence in my ability to live from now on was shattered, and I didn’t even know how I was going to live tomorrow.

If Satoru was alive, I would want to see him, hear his voice, and talk with him. These thoughts came flooding back to me and were my reason for living.

And now that’s gone.

I wonder if time will tell…….I tried to think about it, but my mind didn’t seem to accept even that, and now I’m slowly approaching the thought that I just want to wait for death.

Since Satoru had saved me, I wanted to live to the fullest, at least for Satoru’s sake, but my legs were heavy and shaking.

I just can’t move forward. Because there is no Satoru to support me, to warm me, to comfort me.

I am so weak that I cannot even walk alone. I am so weak that I can’t do anything without Satoru.

I gently stroked the earring that Satoru gave me. The gift Satoru gave me. Maybe I was already so infatuated with Satoru at that time that I couldn’t live without him.

After shedding a few tears, I looked out the window and saw that it was already dark.

After picking up my bag, before leaving the classroom….

“See you tomorrow”

For some reason, I said that. As expected, there was no answer. To others, it may seem like a crazy thing to do, but I have been saying “see you tomorrow” like this yesterday and the day before it too.

If I had to say something, I would say it to Satoru’s desk and chair; maybe it’s because when I come here, I can look back on my memories of Satoru, maybe it’s to make sure I never forget Satoru.

It’s a fool’s errand because I know it makes me feel empty, but I have no intention of stopping this at all until I graduate. Besides, I will live on thinking about Satoru for a long time to come.

I don’t need a new love, nor am I interested in one. I know that Satoru is the one and only for me.

Satoru, you are the only one for me. Maybe I was too greedy. But if I had not wanted to, I would not have met Satoru in the first place.

“Satoru ………….. I, I’m not sure. I knew I had to have Satoru.”

I left the school alone and lonely.

Even I understood that my heart had become weak. 

Satoru ………….. Support me again. Walk beside me again. Satoru

“Save me”

SHINIGAMI-san: Sorry for the short chap