What's under Kamiyama-san's paper bag? - 32 Chapter 30

What’s under Kamiyama-san’s paper bag?

Chapter 30 “Kominato has a conversation with Kamiyama.”

In the dark, electricity-free tatami room, inside the futon, I was alone, staring at the ceiling. The girls’ chatter that could be heard from beyond the sliding door had now turned into peaceful sleeping breaths.

We must have been tired from playing in the sea and watching fireworks. I, too, felt exhausted, but due to my nature of being unable to sleep when the pillow changes, my eyes were wide open.

While gazing at the ceiling, I reflected on today’s events. When Arai suggested this training camp, I honestly thought it would be troublesome. However, now that I’m here, it turned out to be unexpectedly enjoyable. Come to think of it, I noticed that we hadn’t really been practicing as we should have, but just playing together like this could also be considered practice for conversation, so I changed my perspective.

As I contemplated such things inside the futon, the sliding door separating my room from the girls’ room quietly slid open. A paper bag emerged slowly from beyond the door. It was Kamiyama-san.

Kamiyama-san walked quietly on the tatami, ensuring not to make any noise, and headed towards the exit of the room, passing by my feet. As I followed her figure with my eyes, Kamiyama-san noticed my gaze and spoke in a hushed voice.

“Ah… S-s-sorry… Did I… wake you up…?”

“No… I couldn’t sleep for some reason, so I’ve been awake all this time.”

“I see… Actually, I couldn’t sleep either… I was thinking of going outside to cool off…”

Saying so, Kamiyama-san shrugged shyly. I sat up from the futon and spoke to her.

“Well, if that’s the case, how about we go outside and have a chat?”

We sat side by side on the porch of the inn, illuminated by the moonlight. It was a complete contrast to when we were watching fireworks, now enveloped in tranquility.

I handed Kamiyama-san an orange juice that I bought from the vending machine at the entrance and opened my own cola before starting to talk to her.

“So, by the way, we also drank juice together on the day of the entrance ceremony.”

“Y-yeah… th-th-th… that’s right…”

“At that time, I was suddenly carried away, and I didn’t know what to do.” As I said while laughing, Kamiyama-san responded with a guilty expression.

“Ah, th-th-th-th-that time… I was so flustered… I’m sorry… if it was bothersome…”

“It was bothersome.”

“I-I-I-I-I know, right? I’m sorry…” Kamiyama-san’s black hair, emerging from the paper bag, swayed in the summer night breeze. I spoke to Kamiyama-san, who was shrinking their large body.

“…It was bothersome, but if it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t have formed the Conversation Club, and we wouldn’t have come to this training camp either.” Kamiyama-san slowly turned the paper bag towards me and listened silently to what I was saying.

“If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have met Harusame, and Arai would have just been a regular classmate. And also, you, Kamiyama-san. So… well, I think it’s a good thing.”

“Kominato… kun…” Kamiyama-san’s voice came out from the paper bag. “Thank you… I’m glad you said that… Um… I wonder if I’ve become a little better at conversations…”

From the hole in the paper bag, I met Kamiyama-san’s clear eyes. The stars scattered in the summer night sky were shining in Kamiyama-san’s large eyes.

I think to myself, what does it mean to be good or bad at conversation? Kamiyama-san is an extraordinarily shy person.

She break into a sweat if someone talks to her and traumatize the club members when she visit club activities. She come to school with a paper bag over her head or swim in the sea wearing a stitched swimming cap mask, resembling a new type of ghost story. But in her own way, Kamiyama-san expresses her emotions with their entire body, even if she’s not good with words. Certainly, her conversation skills may not be considered good yet, but words are just one means of communication.

Even if she can’t convey themselves well with words, by spending time together like this, various emotions are conveyed from Kamiyama-san.

It may not be perfect, but… that’s okay, isn’t it? While looking at the stars shining in Kamiyama-san’s eyes, I realized that there was a part of me that thought that way, unexpectedly and out of character. I thought about expressing that to her, but as I was about to speak, I decided to stop.

If I made her too conscious, it would become awkward, and above all, I would feel embarrassed. I didn’t have the confidence to convey such things without feeling shy.

So instead of using words, I turned towards Kamiyama-san and smiled gently. I don’t know how it was conveyed. I don’t know, but I understand. Perhaps Kamiyama-san felt relieved seeing my smile because she slightly shrugged her shoulders. After that, we sat side by side on the porch of the inn, and we bloomed memories from when we first met until now.

Memories of the entrance ceremony and visiting club activities. Meeting Harusame and going shopping in town. We had various conversations and laughed together many times. A quiet summer night. Stars in the sky. And next to me, a shy girl. A sudden question popped into my mind.

From an outsider’s perspective, would we… look like a couple? There might be a slight possibility for us right now to have room for such sweet questions.

If this scene were captured in a photo and shown to a hundred people, there might be at least one person who would perceive it as a sweet moment between lovers. This summer vacation is pretty nice. As I listened to Kamiyama-san’s voice, joyfully talking while looking up at the beautiful night sky, I pondered such things. When our conversation reached a lull, Kamiyama-san suddenly asked me a question.

“Um… well… D-Do you… not mind…?”

To the sudden question, I asked back, puzzled. “Not mind… about what?”

“About… this, my… wearing this paper bag… Why I wear it…”

If I said I didn’t mind, it would be a lie. No, in fact, it bothers me a lot. I answered honestly about my feelings.

“Oh, is that what you meant? If I say I don’t mind… it might be a lie.”Contrary to my expectations, I thought she would start sweating profusely, causing a flood on the veranda.

However, contrary to my expectations, Kamiyama didn’t sweat, and the paper bag didn’t become damp either. Slowly, she began to speak.

“Yeah… I guess so. You know… I started wearing this paper bag since I was in third grade of elementary school.”

I nodded and simply said, “I see.”

“I’m still tall compared to everyone else, but back then, I was just slightly taller than everyone else…” Slightly taller than everyone else surpassed the level of “slightly.”

“Well… yeah, I guess so…”

“And then… it became really embarrassing. Once I started worrying about my height, I couldn’t even talk to people properly…”

As Kamiyama said that, she looked up at the night sky, as if reminiscing about those days. It’s a common thing that once one thing starts bothering you, everything else starts bothering you as well, not just in this matter. I waited for Kamiyama to continue speaking.

“And… and then… Once I started worrying about it, before I knew it, I couldn’t have a proper conversation with anyone anymore… Before I knew it, I didn’t have any friends anymore. So… I started playing alone. I would go to the faraway park where no school friends would go…”

As she said that, Kamiyama smiled a bit sadly. I couldn’t laugh at all, but instead, I felt a pain in my heart. Ignoring my state, Kamiyama continued.

“On that day too, I went to the faraway park and was playing alone. Then… I met a strange boy.”

As she said that, Kamiyama laughed nostalgically.

I asked her a question. “What do you mean by ‘strange’? In what way?” Surely, it couldn’t be the first-generation Paper Bag Man. To my question, Kamiyama continued her words.

“That boy… came into the park where I was playing, wearing a paper bag… just like I am now… It’s strange for me to say this, but he was a bit peculiar, right?”

It turned out to be the unexpected first-generation Paper Bag Man. Just as I was about to interject with my usual retort, at that moment… I felt like I was about to remember something very important, so I instinctively closed my mouth. Something very… very important. I felt like the lid of a very important memory was about to open for a moment. Without saying anything, Kamiyama continued speaking.

“That boy, as soon as he saw me, still wearing the paper bag, he said this. ‘Wow, you’re huge! Cool!’ I had been made fun of for being tall before, but no one had ever said I was cool… It made me… well, no… really happy…”

If being called cool regained her confidence and made her stop worrying about her height, then it’s a common story. But the Kamiyama I know is still shy, isn’t she? While keeping the lid of the opening memory in the back of my mind, I asked Kamiyama a question.

“I see… But why did meeting that boy make you start wearing a paper bag?”

“Well… I talked with that boy for a while in the park. About how I was worried about being tall and not being able to talk to people. Then… that boy told me that I shouldn’t worry about such things. He said being tall is cool, or strong-looking. He even said I looked like ‘Bigman.'”

“Bigman, you mean ‘Masked Detective Bigman’? Yeah, I remember it was popular back then. I loved it too, Bigman.”

“Oh, so you liked Bigman too, Komino? That boy also seemed to like Bigman.”

Masked Detective Bigman. It was a superhero anime that was a big hit when I was in the lower grades of elementary school. The main character was a timid, short detective who transformed into Masked Detective Bigman, surpassing two meters in height and gaining both height and power through the power of justice. It was a typical superhero story with a secret identity and a tall hero who appeared wearing a mask, Masked Detective Bigman. Looking back, it had a cheesy name and a plot full of convenience, but at that time, I loved that hero. I was also on the shorter side back then, so I got obsessed with that anime, wore the Bigman mask, and wandered around the town, pretending to patrol. And when I didn’t have the mask… Wait a minute… When I didn’t have the mask… What did I do…? Once again, the lid of my memory seemed to open in an unpleasant way. As I desperately tried to remember, Kamiyama continued her story without paying any attention to me.

“That boy, just like Komino, seemed to love Bigman. So, instead of the mask, he wore a paper bag.”

Ignoring my frantic thoughts, my head was spinning. The time when I loved Bigman. Patrolling the town wearing the Bigman mask. But I couldn’t possibly be carrying the mask with me all the time. When I didn’t have the mask… I… used something else as a substitute for the mask…

Kamiyama continued speaking.

“And then, that boy said to me, ‘Bigman gains height and power through transformation. Wearing a mask makes your confidence grow. That’s how you defeat evil. You already have height and power. What’s missing is—'”

With those words from Kamiyama, the lid of my memory completely opened. Without waiting for Kamiyama’s words, I spoke out myself. “What’s missing is just the mask… right?”

Upon hearing my words, Kamiyama turned towards me and let out a surprised voice from inside the paper bag.

“Yeah, you got it. I guess if you’re someone who loves Bigman, you’d understand.”

No. The reason I understood wasn’t that. Saying that, Kamiyama smiled and continued the story, looking nostalgically up at the sky.

“I was greatly encouraged by that boy… That boy wore a paper bag instead of the Bigman mask. It’s strange, right? It’s weird to walk around town wearing a paper bag. And yet… I saw him as incredibly confident… Very self-assured… So, while talking with that boy, I thought to myself. I wish I could be like that too, talking to people confidently.”

Kamiyama said that and smiled nostalgically. But I couldn’t smile. Kamiyama continued.

“And then… that boy handed me a paper bag and said in a confident manner, ‘From today, you’re also Bigman. You’re taller than me. You have the potential to be Bigman. Let’s protect the town together!’ I didn’t think about protecting the town or anything… Yes, I didn’t become Bigman, but I wanted to become like that boy. That’s what I thought at that time. I started wearing a paper bag from that moment on…”

While reminiscing and laughing nostalgically, Kamiyama smiled. But I couldn’t smile. It wasn’t that Kamiyama’s story was boring. It wasn’t that I didn’t find the actions of the boy in the story strange. The reason I couldn’t smile—was because I was the “boy himself” who appeared in Kamiyama’s nostalgic story. Listening to Kamiyama’s story made me remember everything. Back then, when I was in the third grade of elementary school, I played Bigman make-believe every day. Wearing the mask, and when I didn’t have the mask, I wore a paper bag and walked around the town, calling it patrol. It was a silly game.

Then, one day, I met a girl. That very tall girl I met in the park was troubled by her height. I simply praised her tall height as cool and admired her strength. And I gave her a paper bag, urging her to become Bigman. That girl is now in front of me. Even now, she wears a paper bag, gazes at the summer night sky, and smiles nostalgically next to me. As for me, once the Bigman anime ended, my enthusiasm waned, and before I knew it, I had become an ordinary high school student like this. And yet— I ask Kamiyama a question.

“…Hey, Kamiyama. What do you think about that boy now?”

When my words reached her, Kamiyama lowered her gaze from the night sky and looked at me. “What do you mean?”

“Right now, you’re wearing a paper bag because that guy entrusted it to you, right? If you hadn’t met him back then… or if you… resent him or something.”

Upon hearing my words, Kamiyama answered while shaking the paper bag from side to side.

“N-No, I don’t resent him or anything like that! I couldn’t really think of protecting the town like Bigman, but I’ve been wanting to become like that boy until now… No, I’m still doing my best. But… now it’s become normal to wear a paper bag, and if I don’t wear it, it feels wrong. So I couldn’t become like that boy at all… But, well… But, I think I’ve been able to talk a little with Komino-kun, Arai-san, and Harusame-chan. So, let’s keep trying harder, like that boy… that’s what I think… okay…?” As Kamiyama said that and looked at me, I could only manage to say, “I see,” in a hoarse voice.

After that, we stayed silent and just looked up at the night sky, but after a while, I heard a small yawn from Kamiyama’s side, and we both returned to the room. Lying in my own futon, I pondered while staring at the ceiling. Kamiyama’s paper bag. It was something I gave her. Something I recommended. If possible, I wanted to do something about it. No, I had a responsibility to do something about it. But how exactly? In the end… I couldn’t sleep a wink that night.