Waking Up Engaged to a Cool Yandere Beauty: My Wild Journey with a Love-Obsessed Senior - Episode 36: The Sauna You Just Can’t Leave (Literally)

Summer Break Edition

Episode 36: The Sauna You Just Can’t Leave (Literally)

“Wow, this is impressive.” “Indeed. Truly grand.”

With today marking the end of the first semester, summer vacation—a glorious two-month stretch—starts tomorrow. To celebrate, Shinji and I decided to visit a certain place on our way back from school.

That place? A newly opened, large-scale bathhouse called Uwaki-mono no Yu (The Bath of the Fickle).
Its exterior was distinctly Japanese in style, and since it was newly built, it shimmered like a palace. It was reminiscent of the mythical Dragon Palace.

“…You think I’ll survive if I step inside?” “Hm? Why wouldn’t you?”

“Well, I mean, what if entering here labels me as a cheater or something?”

“Oh, that. Don’t worry—you’re already a two-timer scumbag, so it won’t make a difference.”

“…Yeah, fair enough! No problem, then!” Just as I was about to step through the curtain, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Hesitating, I pulled it out.

“Ah, Utsuka—” “Uh, President… Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just that I’m having a sleepover with Shion right now. Want to join?”

“N-No, I’m good.” A very tempting word had just escaped her lips, but…

“I have… something only I can do today.”

The truth was, I’d been itching to visit a sauna all day. It was like eagerly waiting for a new game’s release date.

Why? Heck if I know—I’m the one who’d like to ask that. “…I see. Alright then, Shion and I will just spend the evening together.”

“Together?”
Wait, was that… innuendo? Now I was curious—no, obsessed—with how their night was going to unfold.

But for today, my resolve was unbeatable. “Okay, let me know if there’s anything else.”

I had resisted the allure.

“…Hey, Utsuka.” “Yes?”

The tone of her voice had shifted—she sounded dissatisfied or unsure. “…Actually, never mind. I’ll tell you when you’re back.”

The call ended. She seemed like she had something to say, but it could wait, apparently.

“Hm? I wonder what’s up with the President.” “Oi, done with your call? Let’s go already.”

Shinji, looking like a seasoned warrior ready for battle, called me over.

Heh, it seemed I had invited a formidable comrade. “Alright, let’s see what this new bathhouse is made of.”

……Inside the Sauna… “Well, the heat level’s no joke here.”

“Yeah. I’ve gone full circle and started getting chills.” Shinji and I sat in the empty sauna, arms crossed, braving the relentless heat.

The burning stones in the center radiated an intense heat, making our skin sting. The air felt like it could sear our throats with each breath.
It was a kind of tension—similar to the jolt you get when almost zipping up your pants with a bit of skin caught.

“Too bad Akira couldn’t make it.” I sighed and spoke to Shinji.
The programs airing on the small sauna TV were, as expected, boring.

Today’s program was the worst yet: a boat slowly gliding down a river flanked by steep mountains. Who was this for? Nice boat.

“Yeah. I think he said he had plans today.” “…Ah. Probably got himself a girlfriend.”

I had a good idea why Akira wasn’t here, but I kept it vague.

“Hmph. Impossible. Him getting a girlfriend is about as likely as golden apples growing on a banana tree.” “What a fantastical idea.”

If that were possible, I’d seriously consider becoming a banana farmer. “Is it about five minutes yet?”

The heat was becoming unbearable. Watching the clock’s hand make one full circle, I stood up.

“Yeah, five minutes.” “You’re not getting out yet, Shinji?”

“Nope. You know, if you cook meat, it toughens up. If I endure this heat, my muscles will transcend even steel.”

What was this guy on about? His head was already overheating, clearly.

“Alright then, I’m heading out…”Passing in front of Shinji, I made my way to the door. On a whim, I decided to play a little prank.”Wha—!?”I pretended to struggle with the door handle, rattling it as if it wouldn’t budge.”What’s wrong, Rei? Why the panic?”

“The door… it won’t open!” “What!?”

His previously composed demeanor shattered as Shinji’s face turned pale. He was full-on panicking. Nice, prank success.

“…Just kidding! I’m off to get a coffee milk.” What a great prank. I’d have to save this one for our club trip.

“Tch! You’ve got a twisted sense of humor!”

“Ha! As if that could really… Huh?”

Click. Click. The handle wouldn’t turn. Something seemed to be caught.

“W-Wait, what?” I tried again, but still, the door wouldn’t open.

“Rei, you’re not serious, right?”

“…” “Oi? Rei? This is a joke, right?” Shinji’s forced smile was turning into a grimace.

Ah, yep. Got it. This… this was a classic flag moment.

“…Hey, Shinji, stay calm and listen carefully.”

“N-No way.” “Yeah. The door’s… really stuck.”

The temperature was a stifling 80°C (176°F). Our throats were parched. Our eyes stung. Yep, this situation was probably very, very bad.

“W-We’ve gotta stay calm, right?” “Y-Yeah. Let’s try some deep breaths.”

We took a deep breath, and then— “HELP! SOMEBODY! PLEASE HELP US!”

We exhaled the air all at once, shouting.
Stay calm? Yeah, no way. We were gonna die!

…There was no response. Just silence. “Haah… Okay. Let’s think rationally.”

“Y-Yeah. How about some push-ups to stay focused?” “Idiot! Sweating more will kill us faster!”

Oh no. We might actually die here. Still a virgin, too. “Shinji! Emergency measures! We’re breaking this door down!”

“Got it!” We gripped the handle and pushed with all our might.

“Uooooohh!” Straining, I suddenly had a thought. Or maybe it was a flashback—a near-death vision.

If this were a romantic comedy, shouldn’t I be stuck here with a beautiful girl?

Flushed cheeks, glistening sweat, sparkling eyes… A fanservice moment for the viewers.
Back then, even a cramped gym storage room seemed oddly… romantic.

But reality? “Push harder! Don’t give up!”

Beside me was this burly dude. Cheeks so red they looked scalded.
Sweat streaming like waterfalls.  Eyes blazing like a determined shonen hero.

…Where did I go wrong? Eventually, my strength gave out. My vision blurred. I slumped against the wall.

“…Shinji. I think… I’m done.” “Rei!? Don’t close your eyes! You’ll die!”

Despite his own suffering, Shinji’s concern for me shone through. “Before I go, there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to say.”

“Don’t say ‘last words’! You’re not dying here! We’re getting coffee milk after this, remember!?”

“Shut up… and just listen, Shinji.”

“…Fine. Go ahead.” Breathing was hard. I was definitely a goner. So…”You know… I’ve been calling you ‘Muscle Monk’ behind your back.”

Shinji absorbed my confession, then opened his mouth.

“Rei… Then I’ll say it, too. I’ve been calling you ‘Closet Maso Freak’ behind yours.” No way. This guy just crossed a line.
Still, I’d forgive him—just this once.

“Heh. Guess we’re two of a kind, huh?” “…Yeah, we are.”

“In the next life, let’s be best friends aga—”

Thud. “Rei!? REIIII!!!”

His anguished cry marked the loss of a friend. A good friend, I had—

“—Uh, hey. You guys alright?” “…Huh?”

A stranger’s voice broke through the haze. Startled, I looked up. A ray of light streamed in. Beyond the open door stood a confused-looking man.

Our shouts had reached someone, after all.

“…Oh.” And that’s when I realized.

The door we’d been desperately trying to open— The impenetrable wall we’d battled against—

…Was the boiler room door.The actual exit? It was on the other side.