Vol 3 Chapter 8 – Boyhood: Late Spring at Age Twelve ・Part 5

Back in my anime-watching days, the protag always got the “pickled plum” punishment—fists grinding into their temples like a screwdriver. Never thought I’d see that in real life.

And from two pint-sized, doll-cute fairies, no less!

“Hyaaa! Thaaat huuurts!”

“Serves you right for playing with us without even a ‘thank you’!”

“B-But you were just… too cuuuute…”

The wind fairy sniffled, cheeks puffed like a blowfish, but the night-dark fairy silenced her with a glare sharp enough to slice diamonds. Cry all you want—no mercy. With a huff, the wind fairy vanished into the background.

“Mmm… Now then, let me… properly… express my gratitude, my dearest.”

“Uh… yeah…”

Even as she straightened up, oozing that regal vibe, my brain refused to erase the image of those fairy fists drilling into my skull. Talk about a mood whiplash.

“Now, your reward. Two options~”

She flashed two fingers, then dropped one with a dramatic flourish—the same over-the-top gravitas as that night. Shame the goofy vibes from earlier still lingered like a bad punchline.

“First, I’ll grant you these fairy eyes. See through darkness, peer into the very essence of magic itself~”

“Essence of magic?”

Oh right—those eyes earlier were borrowed from Svartálfr, the night-dark fairy. They’d make 《Cat’s Vision》 look like dollar-store night-vision goggles. Total pitch-black? No problem. But “essence of magic”?

“You humans can’t truly see magic unless you… mmm, manhandle it. Its structure, origins, formulas—even its little personality quirks~”

“But with my eyes?” Her smile turned razor-blade sweet. 

“Everything’s laid bare.”

Sounded OP as heck. But… seeing too much might fry my sanity.

I’m a sucker for TRPGs—especially those Modern/Cosmic Horror mashups where players are glorified cannon fodder. Sure, it’s fun when fishing boats shotgun-ram Cthulhu knockoffs or elephants suplex sleepy octo-gods. But those games taught me one thing:

Prying too deep never ends well.

Getting X-ray vision for magic? Sounds awesome! Could unlock new solutions, slice through the unknown like butter.

But y’know… if something’s hidden from humans, there’s probably a reason. Like, cosmic OSHA violations.

Our squishy monkey brains can’t handle eldritch truths. See too much, and your “self” boils away like overcooked ramen.

Wall-crawling rats? Rainbow bubbles haunting your peripheral vision? Chatty sleep-paralysis demons? Ignorance is bliss. Folks who peek behind the curtain usually end up as Deep One chew toys—and those are the lucky ones.

Maybe some things should stay invisible… unless you’re a sanity-optional archmage.

“Second option~” She puckered her lips. 

“Special lips. Call my name anywhere, and I’ll come running~”

“Wait, how does that—”

“Means I’ll bail you out… within reason~”

…Is she recruiting me as her Fairy Tamer minion?

Sounded like she’d help only when it suited her—like divine miracles, but with more fairy caprice. Low-risk, though. No risk of becoming a wall-whispering conspiracy nut.

After agonizing, I picked Option Two.

“I’ll take the lips.”

“Good choice~”

Before I blinked, she’d zipped over—smooch! A 15cm fairy kissing a sword-clutching teen? Peak fairy tale vibes.

A split-second peck. She licked her lips, giggled like a gremlin, and vanished.

…All my first kisses involve supernatural entities, huh?

My face burned tomato-red. 

“I-I meant the second option!”

“I know~” 

Her voice dripped honeyed mischief. 

“Call my name when you’re not dying, and I’ll help~”

Leaning into my ear, she whispered a name—Ursula—her true title as a night-dark fairy.

Perching on my shoulder, she smirked. 

“Now, let’s save your—”

“NO FAIR!!”

“Ghk!?”

Today’s chaos level? Henderson-scale disaster. Just as I predicted.

The wind fairy, Lolotte, torpedoed into Ursula’s stomach. They tumbled into a dust-cloud catfight—all screeches and hair-pulling.

“No fair no fair no fair! Lolotte’s coming toooo!”

“Ow! Quit it! I claimed him first!!”

Do I stop them? Or let them duke it out?

Watching this absurd, world-ending-tier slapfight, I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

…Damn, that’s a nasty water stain.

【Tips】 Pro Tip: Fairies who gain “selfhood” become OP royalty-tier. Even a swarm of normie fairies can’t touch ’em.

“Thaaanks…! Sooo… Lolotte’ll give a gift too~!”

The wind fairy—channeling Eliza’s cutesy lisp—bowed. Not a speck of dust on her, despite the floor-wrestling.

“Uh… what’re you giving me?”

“Umm, one thing! Lolotte’ll tell you her name~!”

Hold up. Didn’t she already spoil this earlier…?

“Aaaand~… uhmmm… oh! Right!”

After dramatic pause, she started patting herself down like a malfunctioning vending machine.

“The Great Lady said~! Boys like weapons for gifts! Sooo… ta-daa!”

She yanked out a knife three times her size from behind her back.

…A ring-pommel blade with a can-opener tip?

Wait— Karambit knife! That Indonesian farming tool turned murder-mittens! TRPG supplements taught me well.

“This’s made from our wings~! Only visible to those we want to see it! And it cuts only flesh~!”

“So… magic steak knife?”

 I joked. Ursula facepalmed. 

“It ignores metal armor, you dolt.”

HOLY SH— Armor-piercing OP knife!? Sure, the grip’s awkward, but IGNORES DEFENSE? This thing’s broken!

“GIMME THE KNIFE!”

“WHYYYY!?” Lolotte yanked my collar, waterworks activated. 

“You asked Ursula’s name! Why not Lolotte’s!? UNFAIIIR!”

“Uh… ‘cuz knife OP?”

“At least pretend to hesitate!” Ursula sighed.

Look, my materialistic lizard brain won. Sue me. Plus, free left-hand grapple tool!

“Oh! Ideaaa~!” 

Lolotte theatrically “dropped” the knife into a dust pile. 

“Oopsie~! Lost it~! Wink.”

She stared expectantly. 

If I said “Got spares?” her face might’ve cracked reality.

Resisting my inner gremlin, I caved: “Fine. Your name?”

“Charlotte~! Call me Lolotte! Play with me lots~!”

We shook pinkies. Note: “Lolotte” = cutesy Charlotte. Got it.

“So… Can I take the ~conveniently forgotten~ knife?”

“Lolotte forgot~! You found it~! Innocent whistle.”

…You sure your fairy boss won’t HR-nuke me later? Whatever. Mine now.

The blade—lightweight, faintly green—felt like crystallized wind. Grip the ring with your index finger, reverse hold. Perfect for parrying and gutting armor-clad idiots.

“What else can you two do?”

Ursula smirked. 

“Hide you from enemies. Blind them temporarily. Moon phase-dependent, sadly.”

“And~! Lolotte can sniff out baddies here! Cough Five total!”

She spun like a sugar-high tornado—kicking up a dust storm.

“Ghk—! Cough My lungs—!”

“Idiot! Don’t spin in Filth Central!” Ursula scolded.

Lolotte peeked through her fingers. 

“Sowwy~! Five enemies: three green smols, one stinky mutt, one big blue!”

Goblins, hellhound, ogre. Ogres suck—fast and tanky. But… maybe I should tank it anyway?

My past life? Peaceful office drone. Never threw a punch. But here? Playing safe = death later.

Time to embrace the chaos.

I turned to the fairies. 

“Back me up. Please.”

【Tips】 Blonde, blue-eyed cuties get 《Fairy’s Favorite》 trait—automatically attracting fae allies. But their “help” comes with zero regard for human logic. Misuse it, and… well. Hope you like frog transformations.