Traveling With a Beautiful Girl

“I’m glad I got to see this in the end,”

My impression of the breathtaking view was incredibly decadent.

This spot offers a very unique scene where the setting sun overlaps with a certain building. For someone about to set off to the netherworld, there is no more fitting place. I never had the leisure to enjoy such a landscape until now. I send a bit of gratitude to Takahashi-kun, who taught me the beauty of the sunset.

…Right now, Takahashi-kun is desperately searching for me. But he absolutely won’t find me. Even if he were to find me, the chances would be astronomical. A pang of guilt pierces my chest. I’m aware that disappearing all of a sudden was too much.

He must have been very surprised, and I think he must have been shocked. I don’t flatter myself into thinking he sees me in a positive light, but he must have some affection for me. But I had to do this. Even if Takahashi-kun understands my point of view intellectually, he will never accept it in his heart.

I was certain of that after our conversation yesterday. Takahashi-kun will never accept my suggestion, no matter what. That’s the kind of person Takahashi-kun is. Reasoning doesn’t get through to him.

So, I walked away from him. It was as simple as that.

—Today, I will quietly die.

Surely, Takahashi-kun too will come to the conclusion that I chose to take my own life. He may search for me for a few days, but he will eventually give up. I want to believe he will give up. His returning safely to his everyday life is my final modest wish.

Soon, the sunset will set. At the same time as the end of today, my life will also come to an end. Looking back, it was a terrible life. I was fortunate in terms of money, but in nothing else. Just responding to my mother’s demands, a life where I couldn’t tell whether I was alive or dead. That’s why I’m glad I could add the color of travel to the end of my life. I’m glad that I traveled with Takahashi-kun.

Takahashi-kun was a classmate who was completely opposite to me in every way. In fact, before I encountered him at Tabata Station, I was a little interested in him.

Takahashi-kun, like me, was a member of the stragglers. Usually, when people are isolated in a group, they feel alienation. In fact, I also created a wall with others and made myself alone, resulting in deep loneliness.

In contrast, Takahashi-kun always seemed to be enjoying himself. During breaks, he would diligently open his laptop and work on something with enthusiasm. Before I knew it, I became interested in him immersing himself in his world.

…That’s why.

The beginning of the journey, at Tabata Station. I was very surprised that it was Takahashi-kun who tried to stop my suicide at that time. And what do you know, he proposed to me, “Let’s go on a journey!”

Perhaps because it was Takahashi-kun, I agreed to such a wild proposal. As a result, the journey was fun.

Yes, it was very fun. Let’s be honest, at least in the end. The trip with Takahashi-kun was the most enjoyable event in my life

It wasn’t just that the trip was fun. It was fun because I was able to travel with Takahashi-kun. I will never tell him. I can no longer tell him.

“How strange…”

Even though I’m about to die, all that comes to my mind is Takahashi-kun. I felt a certain emotion might be involved in this phenomenon, but I immediately denied it.

There’s no way, it’s impossible, I shake my head. Because Takahashi-kun, Takahashi Sho-kun…

Is always grinning.

And he always says things that irritate me. He’s illogical.

He suddenly starts doing things that make no sense.

He’s impulsive, intuitive, and willingly starts doing inefficient things.

He’s decisively incompatible with me. A person who is the complete opposite.

…But, he’s very kind.

He has a brightness that cheers people up. He has the power to make people’s hearts positive. He has the sincerity to properly look at and face people. He has the tolerance to accept anything. He has a rich sensitivity to enjoy and be moved by trivial things.

He has many parts that I don’t have.

So what if he has them?

It’s not like the “pink” feelings that often arise between men and women are happening.

I am just… Yes, grateful.

I’m just grateful to Takahashi-kun. Thank you for going on a journey with someone like me at the end.

I should have written “Thank you” in the letter, not just “Goodbye.” I regret it now, more than ever.

I’m aware that I couldn’t write it because of my high pride. …If possible, I wanted to continue the journey a little longer.

That feeling does exist. How selfish of me at the very end.

But, it’s not allowed.

Takahashi-kun has a home to return to, hopes for the future, and people who need him. He’s not someone who should be with me. Going alone is the best solution for both me and him.

After facing the setting sun on the horizon with determined eyes, I take a step forward. Splash… The lake water in October, soaked up to my toes, is cold, and I shiver involuntarily. The sea in Okinawa was warm… I shake off the memory that came to mind.

…This is fine. This is fine, I tell myself, as I slosh forward. While barely holding back the fear of water instilled in me by my mother, I move on. Come to think of it, I became a little less afraid of water because Takahashi-kun took my hand in the sea… I shake off the memory that comes to mind again.

This is fine, this is fine. It’s the logical answer. This is the rational conclusion.

The answer is clear in theory.

Yet.

Despite that…

Around the time I was soaked up to my thighs,

The emotion, thought.

The words, overflowed.

“…I don’t want to die.”

I muttered, at that moment.

“Na… Se…”

A broken voice. A voice that shouldn’t be there vibrates my eardrums from somewhere far away.

It’s impossible, my reason denies. Normally, considering probability, it would be a hallucination.

Because… such… such a development is logically impossible.

“Nanase!!”

This time, clearly, a voice calling my surname. Closer than before. I couldn’t dismiss the second cry as a hallucination. Whether it’s fear, anger, despair, or perhaps anticipation. With mixed-up emotions, I timidly turn around.

“Nanase!!”

The person who shouldn’t be there — Takahashi-kun was standing there, against astronomical odds.