Chapter 5: The Distance Between Us (1)

From the next day on, normal classes began again, and a new everyday routine started.

I was desperate to get used to Japan’s classroom style, and Makoto—despite being the type who went straight home after school—apparently had a wide circle of friends, so she looked busy in her own way.

Not that that was the only reason, but the following half month felt like it passed in the blink of an eye.

During that time, I felt a slight distance in how close I was with Makoto.

Well, Makoto probably had her own life pattern up to now, and when it was just the two of us she used “Ore,” but at school she switched to “Boku.”

I figured it was her way of not letting anything slip because I was around.

“Taku, have you decided what you’re picking for your elective?”

“Not yet. I’m still stuck.”

“If you’re a returnee, isn’t conversation English the obvious choice?”

“You know what country I was in, right? Thanks to that, my English is a total mess.”

“I know. That’s why I figured you’d relearn it.”

“I thought about it, but… it sounds like a pain…”

“The teacher’s been pressuring you, hasn’t he?”

“I know…”

Between classes and on the way to and from school, we still had conversations like that.

But during the long lunch break and after school, there were always people dropping by, and that probably didn’t help either—there was never time to talk properly.

“Makoto-sama~. You can hang out with us today, right?”

“…I didn’t manage to escape again.”

“That’s because you’re too slow, Taku.”

Even though Kanou-senpai was in a different grade, she came to Makoto’s side at every opportunity.

From how the other students acted, it sounded like she’d always been like this, and I could tell the two of them were getting those lukewarm, amused looks.

One thing I realized after coming back was this: Kanou-senpai looked soft and friendly, but somehow… there were moments that made it feel like people kept their distance from her.

She was pretty, and her figure… well, I’d only seen it through her uniform, but it didn’t look bad.

Even so, I’d never seen her hanging out with anyone except that same pair.

Outside of school too, she still moved around like a trio. And the pair of male students who trailed behind them like escorts were still there as well.

Sometimes I saw all five together, so it didn’t seem like stalking… but were those two in the back their boyfriends or something?

Lately, I kept getting the feeling Kanou-senpai found my presence annoying.

It was probably because Makoto used my name a lot when she turned down her invitations.

Kanou-senpai’s words and manner stayed gentle, but sometimes, right as she left… the way she looked at me felt a little scary.

“Hey. It’s nice that you pay attention to me and all, but shouldn’t you talk to senpai a bit more too?”

On the way home—just the two of us—I ended up blurting that out.

“Mmm… I’d rather avoid that. And, honestly… Kanou-senpai feels like she’s about to push past the ‘girlfriend’ line.”

“You mean she’s into girls?”

“I’m not going that far. But when she clings to my arm, it feels like she’s doing it on purpose—like she’s pressing her chest into me.”

“Still, she looks like the kind of person guys would be into too. If she’s that pretty, I’d expect she gets confessed to a lot.”

“Yeah, just on looks alone, she probably does pretty well with guys, but…”

Makoto hesitated, like she was holding something back.

“Does she have some kind of problem?”

“It’s not really her personal problem, exactly… more like… well. A lot of things.”

“And in a rural school like this, everyone knows who’s with who. If you confess and get rejected, it spreads instantly.”

“So it’s hard for confessions to turn into couples, huh.”

“It’s not like there are no couples. There are plenty who end up dating because they’ve been tied together since childhood—long, messy history and all…”

“Like us?”

“……”

“What? Why’re you going quiet?”

“Taku, do you have time today?”

“Yeah. I’m good.”

“Then come with me.”

Chapter 6: The Distance Between Us (2)

I ended up tagging along with Makoto, and we took a detour.

We veered a little off our usual route to school and followed the riverbank. It was a nostalgic path I had walked countless times when we were kids.

We passed under the torii gate of an old, weathered shrine, cut around behind the main building, and kept going down a narrow path for a while—until a small hut came into view.

A slapped-together shack on a hill overlooking the harbor. I remembered this place well.

I didn’t know what it had originally been built for, but we’d come here plenty of times when we were little.

It wasn’t exactly our “secret base,” but not many people knew about it.

It seemed like whoever used it changed every few generations or so. When we first found out about it, I remembered we once witnessed a couple around our age at the time—clinging to each other inside.

Now, it was painfully obvious what they had been doing.

Apparently, those two were married now, running a café in front of the station.

A shack that got used as a kids’ hangout during the day, and a hookup spot for couples at night.

Makoto should’ve known that too.

So if he brought me here knowing all that, then the reason was…

“Hey, Taku. Do you remember the first time we came here?”

“Yeah. Back then, Satoru-nii-chan and Maki-nee-chan were having sex in here.”

“…Those two were childhood friends too, right?”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence dragged on for a bit.

“Taku… when you found out I’m a girl… what did you think?”

“What did I think…? I mean, yeah, I was surprised, but…”

“Yeah. Of course you were. …I kept it quiet the whole time… I didn’t even tell you in my letters… You kept sending me photos, and I never sent any back…”

“Yeah, you didn’t. But you’re still you, Makoto. I was honestly relieved you hadn’t changed.”

“Have I… not changed?”

“It’s not like everything we had just disappears because you’re a girl. …We’re still friends, aren’t we? That doesn’t change.”

“…Yeah. Friends… right.”

“Is it different for you?”

“I don’t know. I think I understand I’m a girl now, but…”

“… ”

“Anyway, this place hasn’t changed at all. C’mon—let’s go inside.”

I couldn’t stand the awkward vibe anymore, so I forced a topic change and went into the shack.

“Huh. Looks like someone’s been messing with the inside a bit.”

The inside felt way smaller than it used to.

It was only about four-and-a-half tatami mats worth of space, and the dirt floor just had an old sofa and a wooden box lying around like a makeshift table.

“… ”

Even after I went in, Makoto stayed by the entrance, standing there—he didn’t come inside.

“Doesn’t feel dusty… so I guess other people still use it, like we did.”

“… ”

Makoto stood there at the doorway, head lowered.

“Makoto?”

“Taku… I think I really have changed.”

I couldn’t see his face well with his head down, but his voice sounded stuffed up—like he was fighting tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was scared. I was scared that if I saw you again, I wouldn’t be able to stay the same as before. That if you found out I’m a girl, maybe things wouldn’t stay the way they were…”

“…Makoto.”

Tears started spilling from him.

“But… I could also feel it… that I don’t want things to stay the same.”

“… ”

“When I heard you… over there… that you’d… had sex… I… I got jealous.”

“Makoto…”

“I kept thinking… why wasn’t I your first…?”

“Th-that’s…”

“I got my period… and once I knew I was a girl… I kept thinking about you… and I… I masturbated…”

“…For real?”

“…Yeah. I did. The whole time… Even the day I found out you were coming back… even the night before you came home…”

“… ”