Chapter 2 – Unfulfilled Desire

As morning came, Yukimori finally seemed satisfied, her face peaceful in sleep.

She really does take a long time to be satisfied, as usual.

I pulled the blanket over Yukimori’s naked body so she wouldn’t catch a cold.

“Lust, huh. She’s got something troublesome inside her too.”

That term, “lust,” I heard from Miyabe-san.

Yukimori’s family is constantly busy, and she apparently grew up without receiving much affection.

Of course, even if Miyabe-san and the others treat her like family, in the end they’re still just master and servant. It can’t go beyond that.

Sixteen years raised like that.

Inside Yukimori, two desires bloomed—“the desire to love” and “the desire to be loved.”

All of that combined is called lust.

And to fulfill that lust, half a year ago, the one chosen was… me.

They apparently ran some kind of genetic-level compatibility test and concluded I was the most suitable match.

The only ones who know about this are me, Yukimori, Miyabe-san, and a few trusted retainers in the household.

Honestly, I think we’re pretty compatible physically. Not that I can say for sure—I’ve only ever been with her.

“Sigh… but still, it’s complicated…”

Even if it’s a fringe benefit, using physical pleasure to feel love…

Is that really okay for Yukimori…?

As I brushed the hair from her cheek and patted her head, she snuggled up to me like a baby.

Sometimes, she’s like a goddess, smiling at everyone.

Other times, she becomes a wild, primal woman—one she only shows to me.

And sometimes, like now, she’s a sleeping angel with the sweetest face.

They’re all sides of Yukimori, all beautiful… and that’s exactly why I know it can’t stay like this.

But right now, I don’t know how to fulfill this girl’s desires any other way.

“It’s fine, isn’t it? Giving in to desire is something only the young can do.”

“…That’s true. …Wait, huh?”

Wait a second, who did I just respond to?

I slowly turned toward the voice.

Standing beside the bed, a dark figure—Miyabe-san.

“KYAAAAAAAH!?”

“My, what a cute scream.”

“Shut up!”

Crap, I’m completely naked! Naked!

I dove under the blanket, and Miyabe-san covered her mouth and laughed 

politely.

“Oh my. You spend every week getting frisky with the young lady, and yet react 

like some innocent maiden.”

“I-I’m used to Yukimori already, okay!? And when did you even come in!?”

“From the part where you said ‘Lust, huh.’”

“God, that’s so embarrassing…”

I can’t believe she heard the line I thought was a little cringey myself.

Looking away in embarrassment, I caught sight of Yukimori’s sleeping face.

Seriously, with all the noise, and she’s still out cold. She must’ve been really exhausted this week.

With Yukimori, how deeply she sleeps after depends on how much stress she’s been under. And this week must’ve been a heavy one.

“Inori-sama. Breakfast is ready. Would you like to eat?”

“…Yeah, I’ll have some.”

“Understood.”

When Miyabe-san lifted the lid on the serving cart, the aroma of freshly baked bread and consommé soup tickled my nose.

Come to think of it, I didn’t eat anything last night. Usually, we’d do the deed after eating, but… I’m starving.

I got up, putting on the gown that had been left by the bedside, and Miyabe-san handed me a cup of coffee she’d prepared.

“About what we were discussing earlier.”

“Earlier?”

“When you said it was complicated.”

“Oh, that.”

It’s like Miyabe-san can read my mind or something… But is it really okay to keep going like this?

“I think it is. The young lady seems content with the current arrangement.”

“…You think so…?”

“At the very least, much more than six months ago.”

Six months ago. Christmas.

I remember that time well.

When they told me about the desires lying dormant inside Shizuku Yukimori… her heart was crying.

She wore a remorseful smile on the surface. But the sorrow deep within her eyes—that she couldn’t hide.

Compared to that, the emptiness in her heart must be filling up now.

But even that’s only temporary. Without that weekly release of desire, the outlet for her pent-up lust, her heart will fray and eventually break.

“…I don’t think Yukimori should stay like this.”

“Is that so?”

“That’s it? Pretty casual, huh.”

“I am the young lady’s servant. If she wants to change, I’ll support her. If she wants things to stay as they are, I’ll support that too. That’s all.”

Is that really how it is?

As I glanced at Yukimori, peacefully asleep, I bit into my toast.

◆

As usual, I used the shower, and then Yukimori’s family’s car dropped me off at the alley behind my apartment. Bringing it all the way to my house would just bother the neighbors.

“Well then, Inori-sama. Your payment will be transferred to your account as always.”

“Thanks.”

“Now then, please excuse me.”

I watched the car carrying Miyabe-san drive off, and finally let out a breath.

Even after half a year of this weekly routine, riding in a luxury car still takes a mental toll.

Anyway, I should head home and get changed.

Adjusting the strap on my bag, I walked out of the alley and through the residential neighborhood.

After a few minutes, I stopped in front of a building tucked away in a maze of streets.

A rundown apartment complex. Even calling it “run-down” is generous. It’s no comparison to the Yukimori family’s mansion.

Of the eight rooms here, only two are occupied.

Mine, and that of a frugal office lady.

A one-room unit for thirty thousand yen a month. Since I’m a student, I get a 10% discount on top of that.

When I opened the door and stepped inside, the quiet of the room greeted me.

“…I’m home.”

My voice melted away into the emptiness of the room.

I’m used to it by now, but this moment once a week—I hate it.

The loneliness brings back the warmth of Yukimori’s body, her voice.

“Damn it.”

I’m the worst.

Thinking I want to help Yukimori, yet using her to ease my own loneliness… Hah. I should just die.

Crushed by self-loathing and guilt, I changed out of my uniform into my casual clothes and lay down on the futon.

Cold. Hard.

This is reality. This is real.

As I sat there soaking in the loneliness, my phone suddenly buzzed. At this timing, it must be the payment notification.

I opened my banking app and checked the deposit.

[Yukimori Family: ¥100,000]

Four hundred thousand yen a month. That’s… absurdly good salary.

With this much money, I don’t really need to live in this crappy apartment. I could afford a much nicer place in a better location—even a proper condo.

But I’ve decided to only use this money for the bare essentials. It’s not unusual for me to get by on fifty thousand yen a month, rent included.

“Like hell I can use this money… dammit.”

I pulled the futon over me like I was clinging to it, and drifted off to sleep, trying to escape from reality.

Deeper, deeper, deeper…

◆ Shizuku’s Side ◆

“Young lady, are you truly okay with this?”

As soon as Rena-san returned from dropping off Hatase-kun, she said that out of nowhere.

I froze as I was setting up for piano practice and glanced at Rena-san out of the corner of my eye.

“…What are you talking about?”

“You were awake, weren’t you? When Inori-sama was talking about you.”

Tch, busted.

Rena-san is as sharp as ever.

I pulled my knees to my chest on the chair and puffed out my cheeks.

“I know it’s impure. But still…”

“At first, it really was just for releasing pent-up lust. But the more your bodies connected, the more aware you became. And then…”

“Please don’t say it all out loud.”

Ugh, my face is burning.

Of course it is. We’re a genetically perfect match and we meet every week! How could I not start to care?

Yes, yes, I like him. So what?

But a relationship that started from something this impure—Hatase-kun probably hates it.

So this situation might be the only thing connecting us right now.

Six months is short, and also long.

Taking a step forward… or stepping away… Both are scary.

“If you wish to date or even marry Inori-sama, you should consider learning to control your desires.”

“…Yeah… you might be right…”

I really hate how explosive my desires can be.

I can’t control myself—I just give in to instinct.

I hate that part of myself.

But I know I have to change.

“…I’ll do my best.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“Starting tomorrow.”

“…………”

Don’t look at me like I’m trash!