The Young Lady With the Most Powerful Specs Was Just Too Cute, so I Started Teasing Her—But Then She Tried to Trap Me With a Chain, so I Kept Running Away With All My Might - Chapter 8

The Curse of the Duke’s Family (Part 2)

We played tag.

Pain ran through my whole body, and my head felt all fuzzy.

I think Horn was saying something.

She changed me out of my dress, took off my shoes, and touched my hair, but even then, none of it really reached my ears. Exhaustion and sleepiness just washed over me.

I feel sick.

This is what happens when I run out of mana. I experienced this a few times back when I first became able to use my chains.

Back then, I used magic every day, but it’s been so long since I last used it.

I can’t move, it’s exhausting, and I feel nauseous.

And yet, only the places where Nil Metasura picked me up feel hot.

I’ve hurt my own body a few times since my mother died.

I touch those hot spots and squeeze them tight.

My pale skin turns red. But even then, the heat wouldn’t go away.

Instead, it felt like the black chains I create were slowly squeezing my heart, making it ache.

It’s a strange feeling.

An “emotion” I haven’t tasted in such a long time since I lost my mother.

Deep inside, it’s squeezing my heart tighter and tighter.

Ever since I lost her, these feelings haven’t reacted to anyone. No one could make them move. I kept the place where they live closed off so nothing could get in.

But Nil Metasura just stepped right in without asking and made himself at home.

And that feels… terribly good.

But, a person with a curse like mine shouldn’t seek out others. I shouldn’t want people.

If I touch him and make him die like my mother did, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

That’s why I don’t want anything. I don’t seek anything. I mustn’t reach out and touch.

And yet, he picked me up without a second thought.

Just like my mother used to do.

He touched me. He held me. It’s because he doesn’t know about my power.

If he ever finds out about my power, he’ll leave.

That scares me so much.

Everyone says my mother was just sick.

They say the timing was just bad.

They say it wasn’t my fault.

There was no way I could believe that.

My mother got weaker right after she touched me.

She disappeared after she loved me.

Ever since then, I’ve known.

If I want something, I lose it.

If I lean on something, it breaks.

That’s why I mustn’t seek anything.

I mustn’t show my emotions.

If I stay like that, at least I won’t have to add to the list of things that break next.

That’s what I thought, and that’s how I’ve lived until now.

—

I should have just sent him away the moment he brought up a silly game like tag.

I should have just done what I always do—say “yes,” but never say “no,” and just let it end.

And yet, for some reason, I brought out my chains in a situation that was different from usual.

There were people before who tried to take me outside.

But even when I went with them, my heart never moved.

Not for pretty flowers.

Not for delicious sweets.

Not for the words of my teachers or my father.

But his carefree smile reminded me of my mother.

That’s why I wanted to make it so he could never smile in front of me again. I’m sure that’s what I was thinking, but while I was chasing him, it changed into something else.

Every time he ran away, I got angry.

Every time he dodged, it felt like something was scratching deep inside my chest.

Every time I almost reached him but didn’t, it felt like something important was slipping through my fingers.

I know that feeling.

It’s the feeling of the day I let go of my mother’s hand.

It’s the feeling of having to just watch things disappear from in front of me without being able to do anything.

That’s why I couldn’t stop chasing him.

It wasn’t just being stubborn.

It wasn’t just that I hated losing.

It’s because I don’t want to lose him that he’s so hard to catch.

The moment I realized that, the back of my throat went cold.

Halfway through, I wasn’t chasing him just to win or lose.

The idea of Nil disappearing from in front of me had become something I couldn’t stand.

That’s why I chase him.

He stepped into my heart with his dirty shoes, made me run on his own, made my breathing go all messy, and on top of that, he picked me up without asking. He’s so incredibly shameless.

And yet, in this quiet room, the reason I’m listening so closely is because I’m looking for that voice again.

That bright voice. That rude way of talking. The heat of the hands that held me.

He acts so lighthearted, yet he notices right away when I’m not feeling well. He’s so attentive, it’s honestly annoying.

Before I knew it, I was thinking about how he might come again tomorrow.

I didn’t think, “I wish he wouldn’t come.”

I didn’t even think, “I wonder if he’ll come.”

I just decided that he was definitely coming.

Even though I keep telling myself it’s no good, my heart is trying to tie Nil to me.

I want to tie him up with my black chains and keep him by my side.

I don’t want to lose him, since he has the same vibe as my mother.

My heart sinks deep down.

This is no good.

I want to tie him down.

I want to make him mine.

If he’s not there, I might not be able to breathe anymore.

He laughs. He looks at me. He touches me.

A thin film forms over the hole in my chest. If he doesn’t come, it will crack again.

So, until this feeling goes away, I’ll make sure the smiles he gives to anyone else slowly disappear.

So that he only smiles for me.

That’s right. I should have done that from the start.

I have to chase him because he runs away.

I want him because he leaves.

Then, I just have to make it so he can’t run.

I just have to make it so he can’t leave.

Because he’s already stepped inside of me.

Because he’s turned me into someone who waits for tomorrow like this.

I think it’s only natural that he takes responsibility.

—

After laying my unmoving body down on the bed, Horn left the room.

It’s quiet in the dim light, but it wasn’t the same silence as before.

It wasn’t an empty silence.

When tomorrow comes, Nil might come again.

What should I do if he doesn’t?

I got the report that he became my personal knight.

He’ll come to my place at least once a day.

Just today isn’t enough.

Tomorrow too. And the day after that. Every day, every day, little by little.

I’ll make it so he can’t relax unless I’m there.

I’ll make it so he feels anxious if he doesn’t see my face.

I’ll make it so coming to my room becomes a habit.

That way, by the time he realizes it, it’ll be great if he can’t go anywhere else.

By then, I’m sure Nil will understand too.

That the one who made me this way was him.

So, I finally closed my eyes.

I was looking forward to tomorrow.

For the first time since my mother died, a tomorrow I’m excited for is coming.

And that excitement is so sweet I don’t want anyone to know about it, and it sinks so deep into me that I don’t want anyone else to touch it.