The Way to Absolute Dungeon Administration – There Is No Reason To Meet With the Opponent! - Volume 02 Chapter 16: Hit and Run?

Volume 02 Chapter 16: Hit and Run?

Side: Yuki

“Off we go!”

I wave to everyone at the dungeon’s entrance.

“Have a safe trip, Onii-san. Take this chance to see the continent. It’ll definitely come in handy.”

“Leave the dungeon work to us. We’ll try not to rely on you too much, Yuki-san.”

“If you find any tasty-looking alcohol, please grab some!”

“Be careful. Even if that body’s a fake, I’m worried.”

“Just follow my advice, and the adventurers won’t be an issue!”

“…Have a safe trip. Stay cautious.”

“Onii-chan, I wanted to go with you~!!”

“Nii-sama, bring back something from a weapon or armor shop for the forge!!”

“…Leave your body to me. I can take care of everything down there. …No problem if it feels good.”

Oh no, Labiris might devour my real body.

“Labiris, I’ll take care of you properly when I get back, so hold off until then.”

I grab her hand, imagining a wedding venue with her in a wedding dress.

Then, I vaguely hint at our wedding night.

“…!? Got it, I’ll keep things in order.”

Nice, persuasion successful.

By the way, my real body’s sleeping in bed.

My metabolism functions normally, so for bathroom breaks or meals, it switches to auto mode… or rather, the doppelgänger’s original personality takes over.

Though, having possessed it for so long, its personality’s pretty close to mine.

Feels like how a half-brother might act.

“Elju-sama, I’ve compiled the treatment facility documents. I’m sorry I can’t help until the end. But if I can return to Litea, I’m sure…”

“Have a safe trip, Lulua-sama. I’ll be fine. I believe we’ll meet again.”

“I pray your wishes come true, Lulua-sama.”

Elju and Oriel exchange farewells with Lulua.

“Hey, Mauve-ojichan and the others, don’t push yourselves too hard!! You promised to play with me and Filia-chan, so come back safe. …Have a good trip!!”

Asrin calls out to Mauve and the others, who’d been totally forgotten.

They look surprised for a moment but quickly smile.

“You bet, I’ll keep that promise!! I’ll bring back lots of souvenirs too!!”

“…A place to return to, huh?”

“We’ve gotta keep that promise.”

Mauve and the others each respond to Asrin.

Man, this is dragging on. Should I say it one more time to wrap it up?

“Alright, one more time. Ready…”

“““Off we go!!”””

“““Have a safe trip!!”””

And so, the hero sets off on a journey.

Well, Dungeon Master, technically.

Doppelgänger, to be precise.

All I can picture is a hero’s departure.

I’m so pumped!!

Even I can tell my excitement’s through the roof.

Fake body or not, it’s my first time outside!! In another world!!

…Though, about 30 minutes in, I got bored of the unchanging scenery.

This continent’s way different from Japan.

I mean, endless plains? You don’t see that in Japan.

There’s a forest nearby, but the mountains are just a faint blue in the distance.

“For now, we need to hit a nearby village or town to get horses, or it’ll take a month.”

Mauve says, noticing my excitement’s cooled off.

“No worries there. I’ll pull a vehicle from my item box.”

“Item boxes can’t hold living things, right?”

“It’s not alive.”

I’m tired of walking, so this is perfect timing. Makes me wanna mimic that blue cat world-conquering robot.

With that image in mind, I pull out something.

“Ta-da! The Marauder, the ultimate civilian vehicle that outshines a Hummer and can’t be destroyed by C4!!”

I saw this online recently. Costs about 40 million yen in Japan.

Bulletproof glass, thick armor, two spare tires included.

Plus, special bullet-resistant tires. It could crush regular cars!!

Perfect for off-road. Ideal for this untamed continent!!

But isn’t it expensive?

Not at all, only 30,000 DP!

Oh, by the way, leveling my doppelgänger took about 50,000 DP.

Wait, didn’t I have just over 500,000 DP? you might ask.

Sometimes, you gotta fudge the numbers a bit.

It’s fine, I used it before everyone showed up!!

“Come on, hop in, hop in.”

I say it with a bit of a country twang.

“…This is a vehicle?”

Expected reaction.

“Yup. Hey, Mauve, try slashing the glass with your sword, full force.”

“Huh? It’ll break.”

“Just do it. You’ll see how awesome this thing is. Raya, Curse, hit it with your spear and magic too.”

“Me too?”

“Magic’s a bit much, isn’t it?”

“Nah, if it breaks from your attacks, it’s useless to ride. Go all out. Lulua, you in?”

“No, I’ll pass.”

And so, it’s like the Street Fight◯r II bonus stage.

Well, it’s an indestructible vehicle, so no bonus points.

*

…Ten minutes later…

“What the hell’s this glass!? It doesn’t break… not even a scratch!”

“What’s with these weird wheels? My spear can’t pierce them… What’re they made of?”

“…It even withstands [Explosion]… Unbelievable.”

All three are out of breath.

Yup, it’s enhanced with magic, but not even peeling the paint? Magic’s scary. And so’s the Marauder.

“Alright, durability’s good. Everyone, get in!”

I urge them on and climb into the driver’s seat.

…Wait. Now that I think about it, I’m the only one who can drive, right?

Crap, no chilling in the passenger seat!?

“Hey, go to the back. That’s where you get in, right?”

“…No, it opens in three places.”

Without the concept of cars, a lot gets lost in translation.

I open the two side doors and the rear to show them.

“Throw your stuff in the back. Put it where it won’t get in the way of sitting.”

“Like a carriage?”

Mauve and the others mutter as they climb into the back seats.

Well, calling it an evolved carriage isn’t wrong.

“Hey, Curse, sit in the passenger seat. I need a navigator.”

“Got it.”

Curse slides into the passenger seat.

“…What’s with this seat? …It’s too comfortable.”

Don’t compare it to a wooden carriage.

“Man, Yuki, can this hunk of metal move? And fast?”

“Just watch.”

I start the engine.

By the way, it’s not a key—fingerprint and mana authentication.

Cutting-edge tech meets magic security!!

“Alright, doors closed? I’m locking them.”

Don’t want someone opening a door mid-drive.

I lock them from my controls.

“…This weird dent acts as the lock?”

Lulua observes the auto-locking mechanism.

“Don’t open it. We’re moving now.”

I warn them and step on the gas.

The vehicle starts moving slowly.

Yup, no damage to the engine or body from their attacks.

“Whoa, it’s moving, but this speed…”

Mauve grumbles.

“Alright, speeding up.”

I go from 10 km/h to about 40 km/h.

Any faster, and we might flip on this uneven ground.

“Whoa, fast!?”

“Impressive.”

“…This might not even take a week.”

“It’s amazing. Moving safely while enjoying the scenery.”

Driving’s boring, so I play some music. The Top G◯n theme, “Danger Zon◯.” Perfect for driving, right?

“What’s that sound!?”

“Just music. I was bored, so I put it on.”

“What do you mean, put it on? You playing it?”

“No way. Think of it like an advanced [Call] spell. It records and plays sound.”

“Damn, that’s fancy.”

Nah, long drives without music are deadly boring.

I drive leisurely for a bit.

Now at 70 km/h. Hmm, at this speed, we could cross to another country in about an hour, right?

No traffic laws here, which is nice. A bit bumpy off-road, though.

“So, Curse, where should we stop? A village or town? Obviously, we’ll get out before we get close. We’re about to stir up something big, so no need to draw attention.”

“…Right. At this speed, if we keep going straight, there’s a small town, Kiris. It’s near the border of Rocheur and Litea Holy Nation. We’ll need to get out, cross the checkpoint on foot, and enter Litea.”

“What do we need to cross the checkpoint?”

“Money, basically. Nothing too troublesome otherwise. …But normally, even with fast horses, Kiris takes four days. With this thing, we’ll get there today…”

Curse says, staring at the passing scenery, dumbfounded.

“Hey, Yuki, don’t we need to rest this thing?”

Mauve calls from the back.

“Nope. Its max speed’s even higher. And it’s not alive, so it doesn’t need breaks. Cooling off would actually be worse.”

“No way, that’s crazy convenient.”

“Go ahead and eat or drink back there. It’s past noon, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll help ourselves.”

Mauve pulls back and grabs a PET bottle.

“Hey, no alcohol.”

“Shut up, Raya!”

That jerk. He snuck booze into a PET bottle?

“Seriously, don’t drink. There might be monsters, right?”

“Yeah, this is a main road, so strong monsters are cleared out, but thieves or weak ones pop up. Mauve-san, hold off for now. Yuki’s… kinda an amateur, after all.”

“Amateur, my ass.”

“I mean, it’s my first time outside?”

“Pfft, I’m drinking and napping.”

Our cover story is that I was saved by Mauve and the others, admired their strength, and tagged along.

Lulua’s my sister in this setup, disguised accordingly.

“Sis, pass me some tea.”

“…!? You mean me!? That feels so weird…”

“Tea, please.”

“Y-Yes, here.”

Tea’s handed from the back.

I drive one-handed, pop the cap, and drink.

“Pretty slick.”

“You could do it too, Curse, with practice.”

Oh, we passed a few carriages, and they looked shocked. I’ll hide it in the item box soon, so even if they report a “suspicious object,” no one’ll believe them. Sorry, folks.

We keep up the chill otherworld driving safari for about three hours when Curse notices something.

“Ten o’clock, edge of the forest… five or six trolls.”

Curse learned clock directions from goblin training. Impressive.

I look that way…

“Yup, those are trolls. Three-meter ones and even a five-meter one. Big guy.”

Mauve confirms, spotting them too.

“What do we do? We could ignore them.”

“We’re in a hurry, but this Marauder’s insanely fast. Either way works, right?”

“A five-meter one, huh? With just me, Mauve, and Curse, it’d take about an hour to kill. With a Saintess and Dungeon Master, probably less.”

Lulua and Raya chime in. We stop the Marauder for a quick meeting, but I’m fine either way.

“Kyaaa!! Don’t come near!! Stay away!!”

A girl’s voice echoes from the troll group.

“…Did you see someone?”

“Nope.”

“…Wait, I see a small person. A kid… but something’s off?”

“…!? Yuki, we should help. Those are of the Fairy Tribe!!”

Mauve informs me.

“What!? Fairy Tribe!? Why are they out here!?”

Lulua’s shocked by the Fairy Tribe’s presence.

I rev the engine and floor it.

At this distance, 60 km/h should do.

“Everyone, seatbelts—strap yourselves in with those belts!! I’m gonna crush the trolls!!”

“What!?”

“We’re not getting out to fight!?”

“…No way.”

Mauve and the others pale.

“Those squishy creatures? A car at this speed’ll flatten them.”

The trolls look like fat, club-wielding Drac◯la trolls.

Even the five-meter one’s just bipedal, not a tank or anything.

Aim for the legs and hit with a Marauder tackle.

Behold the power of a 60 km/h metal beast!!

“Someone, help!!”

I notice the Fairy Tribe girl’s carrying someone else.

I honk the horn to draw the trolls’ attention.

Then, I plow into the troll pack.

The leader troll becomes the first creature in this world to die in a car accident.

“Huh?”

From the fairy’s perspective, it’s probably like a weird thing from the side smashing the trolls.

The troll’s body bends into a V-shape.

The impact’s barely felt. Magic shock absorption is wild.

This could probably handle tank shells or artillery. Something to think about later.

I mow down the rest of the trolls. Sorry, is this what hitting people feels like?

Took just five minutes.

The trolls are bloodied and too weak to need crushing.

I couldn’t help shouting “STRIKE!!” It’s not my fault—it was like bowling!

One troll managed to hit the Marauder with its club, but it bounced off.

It’s basically an armored vehicle. No way a creature’s strength could dent it.

For the finisher, I carefully crush the downed trolls’ heads. Cleanup complete.

“That was brutal and unfair.”

“…You planning to siege a castle with this?”

“What would it take to stop this thing?”

“…Um, please don’t drive this in Litea’s capital, okay? Please?”

Most of the crew’s grumbling, but I ignore them.

I drive up to the Fairy Tribe girl.

“Eek…!? No, don’t come closer!?”

She’s shielding the other person, who’s unconscious (?), and backing away.

Well, we’re an unknown entity that just obliterated trolls.

I get out and call out to them.

“We mean no harm. If you don’t trust us, we’ll leave immediately. If you’ll allow it, we can offer treatment. What do you say?”

I keep it businesslike.

I don’t have time to play hero and save every stray.

But from Mauve’s talk, they’re a rare race, so I’d like to recruit them if possible.

“Uh, humans?”

She’s confused, but no need to wait for her to calm down.

This is a chance.

When someone’s confused, act before they can think straight…

“Sorry, we don’t have time for questions. Come with us, and we’ll treat you. If not, we’ll leave you here.”

“W-What?”

“Alright. May luck be with you on your path. Farewell…”

I turn my back.

Yup, unless they’re stubborn, this usually works…

“Wait!! I’ll come!! I’ll come, so please save her!!”

From her psychological state, we’re probably a mysterious monster that wiped out trolls in an instant. But then, humans stepped out of that monster and, for some reason, offered to heal them with goodwill. Being suddenly offered treatment, her decision-making’s probably overloaded.

On top of that, I’m putting a time limit on her thinking by saying we’re in a hurry.

The info she’s got is: “Defeated the trolls,” “Saved us as a result,” “Mysterious entity,” “Will provide treatment,” “Won’t interfere if you refuse,” and “No time to waste.”

If she assigns moral judgments to these…

• • Defeated the trolls: That’s “good.”

• • Saved us as a result: Also “good.”

• • Mysterious entity: More like “bad.”

• • Will provide treatment: Obviously “good.”

• • Won’t interfere if you refuse: Could be “good” or “bad,” a bit ambiguous.

• • No time to waste: To her, it’s “bad,” but since she can’t process it, it’s “neutral.”

Verdict: “Good” gets 4 or 3 points, “bad” gets 3 or 2.

If she’s capable of rational judgment to some extent, she has no choice but to reach out.

Conversely, if she still refuses, I’d assume there’s a village or something similar nearby. If she just stares blankly or denies us without a response, she’s just a hindrance to our journey, so I don’t need her.

Rare race or not, I have no interest in getting along with those who won’t join hands.

Thinking this over, I pick up the girls and hand them to Lulua, who’s sitting in the back, stunned.

“Take care of their treatment. Now, where’s the Proof-of-Subjugation Parts for trolls? Let’s grab it quick and move on.”

I nudge the still-dazed Mauve and the others to collect the loot, and we set off toward our destination again.

“What the heck is going on!?”

The Fairy Tribe girl, being treated in the back seat, lets out a scream.

Well, that was a nice way to kill time, wasn’t it?