The Way to Absolute Dungeon Administration – There Is No Reason To Meet With the Opponent!

Volume 01 Chapter 29: Watermelon

“Hey, Labiris. How long you planning to sit there? Not that I mind, but you get used to this stuff, start thinking it’s normal, and then feel lonely when it stops.”

I say to Labiris on my lap.

“If you don’t push me away, I’ll sit here forever.”

She replies without hesitation.

“…Do what you want. I’ll do the same.”

“Sure, and feel free to push me down too.”

She says this as I pat her head.

If she said, “Don’t take that seriously!” the next day, I’d be crushed.

That’s the kind of thing modern Japanese youth fear. Or rather, it’s a rite of passage for Japanese kids.

So many people do it for kicks. I almost got traumatized by it back in school.

“…Tell me about that woman. I’ll kill her.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“…Big problem. If she’s why you’re like this, I’ll interrogate her and make her regret being born.”

“Calm down. You can’t just attack everyone. This is about right.”

I hug Labiris to settle her dangerous words.

Yikes. I thought she was cool-dere, but she’s got yandere vibes too.

While we’re brainstorming traps, a report comes from the scouting slimes and small beast lookouts: “Humans detected in the alert zone.”

“Bad timing. The group… one woman and ten men. Bandits?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Humans near the dungeon. We can’t just interfere.”

“…Why?”

“Right now, this dungeon’s supposed to be peaceful under Elju’s power. If we make contact, it could look like the dungeon’s gone rogue. Even sending Mauve, Milly, or Ratsu to intercept—without Selaria, who’s supposed to carry Elju’s will and power—could make it seem like we’ve hijacked the dungeon.”

“…What if Mauve or Ratsu pretended to be travelers?”

“If the woman’s being chased by bandits, no issue. But if they’re assassins or soldiers…”

“…It’s the perfect chance to find fault with this dungeon.”

“Their target’s probably her, but if this dungeon starts functioning as a village or town, that’s reason enough to pick a fight.”

“…Like saying they were attacked by monsters here, or the dungeon’s operator got in their way?”

“Exactly.”

According to the scouting slime, the forest helped the woman gain distance from her pursuers.

Let’s identify both sides in the meantime.

“Let’s watch the footage and decide.”

“Footage?”

“Oh, you don’t know. Try saying ‘Call.’”

“…? Call?”

When Labiris mutters it, a blue window pops up in front of her.

“What’s this?”

“See the names on the right? There’s an ‘All’ button above them. Press it.”

“This?”

She presses it, and thirteen faces—everyone she’s met—appear in thirteen windows.

“What’s this!? Oh, it’s Labiris-chan and Onii-san, right?”

Ratsu’s as reactive as ever, for better or worse.

“Can everyone else see our faces? If you can, respond.”

Everyone replies.

“This skill lets us easily communicate with [Designated Protection] members. Anyway, gather in the banquet hall where we had breakfast. There are humanoids near the dungeon. We need a plan.”

Leaving Asrin and Filia to sleep, I carry Labiris on my shoulders to the banquet hall.

“Everyone’s quick.”

“Well, your room’s the farthest, Onii-san. Naturally.”

Ratsu replies.

Milly’s here. Elju too. She seems a bit calmer.

“Sorry, take a seat wherever. I’ll explain the situation.”

I step onto the small stage at the front of the banquet hall and press a switch.

And, voila.

A large flat-screen TV descends, displaying the dungeon’s layout and surrounding map.

“…Onii-san, I get that’s a map of the area, but this is beyond ridiculous.”

“Let’s save that talk for after we solve this.”

I explain the situation to everyone.

“I see. We can’t just recklessly help her.”

Ratsu rubs her chin, thinking.

“Ten guys? We could go, but unless we pull off a perfect ambush, taking them all down’s tough.”

“…Even so, if the woman escapes into the dungeon, we’ll have to fight anyway.”

Mauve suggests the three adventurers intercept, but it’s not a great plan.

Eris points out that if she reaches the dungeon, it’s the same deal.

Having this discussion makes pulling everyone in worthwhile.

“…Yuki, no footage of the woman? We can’t act without knowing who she is.”

I nod at Curse’s words. Fair point. Oh, here we go.

“The scout caught both sides in view. Here it is.”

Footage appears in front of everyone. Some gasp.

“Lulua-sama!?”

“That’s the little lady!”

Elju and Mauve shout.

The screen shows Lulua, the former Saintess of Litea.

“And her pursuers…”

“…Definitely not bandits.”

Raya and Curse put hands to their heads.

No kidding. The pursuers are decked out in fancy armor, proper gentlemen. One seems to be a woman in mail, but her full-face helmet hides her identity.

“…Any idea who they are?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen them. They came for Lulua. Three short, though.”

Mauve answers.

…So, basically.

“She’s become a problem in a lot of ways, huh, Lulua?”

“…Lulua-sama.”

Elju murmurs.

“Uh, Onii-san and company, we’re kinda out of the loop, but I’m guessing she’s Litea’s former Saintess?”

Ratsu looks at us, pleading not to be forgotten.

“Sorry, Ratsu’s right. Mauve says the pursuers are Litea knights.”

“…What’s that mean? Isn’t their target the Saintess?”

Milly glares at Elju.

“No, targeting Elju was just a means. It’s about stabilizing the nation.”

“Oh, I get it.”

Eris claps, looking satisfied.

“Alright, Eris, share your conclusion. But first, Slime 01, contact Lulua. I’ll talk directly and guide her to the dungeon. Slimes 02 to 10, head outside and support 01. After 01 leads Lulua in, wait outside, confirm if enemies enter, and check for reinforcements.”

At my command, the dungeon’s slimes head out.

“Slime!? At a time like this!?”

Lulua’s face fills the screen.

“Calm down. I’m Yuki, the Dungeon Master. Follow that slime’s lead. It’ll take you to the dungeon.”

“Dungeon Master-san!? I’m being chased. This’ll cause trouble!”

“Don’t worry, we know. Move quietly and quickly, and listen to us. They’re not far, so stay sharp.”

“…What a mess. Fine, I don’t have a choice.”

The slime starts moving with Lulua in tow.

…Bounce, bounce.

The slime’s low angle makes things clear.

Lulua’s in a pristine white robe, and from below, her chest’s shape is obvious.

The slime’s looking up, so her face is only occasionally visible.

…In short, they’re big.

…Bounce, jiggle.

Oh, they jiggled. Did she trip?

Those are bigger than Labiris’s, right? Biggest in the group?

Watermelons, that’s what they are!!

“…What’s that look, Yuki?”

Labiris whispers in my ear from my shoulders.

“Right, Lulua’s moving. Eris, explain. Meanwhile, I’ll set up traps Labiris and I planned to neutralize, capture, or kill the pursuing knights.”

“Yes, if I may…”

Witness my masterful dodge!

“Bath or bedtime, you’re in for it.”

Labiris jumps off my shoulders, runs to Ratsu, and whispers something.

Ratsu looks at me with a big smile. Is that chill I’m feeling my imagination?

Side: Lulua

Honestly, I thought I was done for.

I never imagined the hardliners who started this conflict would come for me too…

Ten out of thirteen were with them.

I feel so sorry for the three who protected me.

“If I may, here’s my take. Litea Holy Nation targeted Elju-sama to stabilize the country. Her assassination seemed to do that, but the former Saintess, Lulua-sama, had too much influence.

Some schemers must’ve wanted to prop up the next Saintess. For them, Lulua-sama being more powerful than the current one is a big problem. So, they jumped on the Demon King excuse to eliminate her too, right?”

The elf woman on the screen explains.

She’s probably right.

To those schemers, my existence alone is an obstacle.

I don’t plan to do anything, and I even think Alshutel-sama has the potential to be a great Saintess.

She’s still imperfect, but still.

“Yes, you’re right. Oof!”

I trip on a tree root.

I regain my balance and follow the slime.

“Where is she!? Lulua must die here for Alshutel-sama to be the true Saintess!”

They’re really not that far, huh!?

“We’ll take down that fake Saintess’s friend in her hideout! Be grateful!”

The knights shout as they close in.