The Virgin Hero Who Fought in the Dungeon for 20 Years Returned to the Surface Only to Find the Population of the World Has Dropped Drastically, with a Male-to-Female Ratio of 1:1000 - 75

Chapter 75: A Dangerous Tea Party

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“Geez, Rion, you’re so selfish. Don’t you want your best friend’s love to succeed?”

“No, no, no. First of all, Ryuuto-sama has the right to choose.”

“Why? I’m super pretty, right? What’s the problem?”

“Kyouka’s flaws aren’t on the outside—they’re all on the inside…”

“Come on, my heart’s beautiful too!”

“Your inner self is a demon.”

“Say what!?”

“Didn’t Ryuuto-san say he had something to do this afternoon?”

“That’s that, this is this! Besides, if he’s with a beauty like me, he’ll forget all about that kind of thing, right?”

“No way. Ryuuto-san is responsible. He always wears a suit after all.”

That was just Rion’s assumption. As for Ryuuto, he simply believed that as long as he wore a suit to formal events, that was enough. He was a mentally-checked-out Showa-era man.

“Pfft. Fine, whatever. Look, it was just a little joke. I didn’t come here only because of Ryuuto-san, okay? Lately, we’ve both been so busy with assignments that we haven’t had time to hang out. I just wanted to mess around with you a bit, Rion.”

“Huh? Uh, r-really?”

Surprisingly enough, Kyouka looked away with a bashful expression as she said so. Rion wasn’t heartless. Though she often used harsh words, she genuinely liked Kyouka’s cheerful and straightforward personality. When Kyouka laid her feelings out so honestly like this, Rion couldn’t help but feel ashamed for having only thought about Ryuuto when in truth, Kyouka was honest and sincere. Rion’s chest tightened with guilt.

Ugh, I feel so guilty.

She did like Ryuuto, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about Kyouka as a friend too.

Maybe I’ve been a little too harsh on Kyouka lately.

“Sorry, Kyouka. I think I’ve been a little overwhelmed with everything about Ryuuto-san recently. Tomorrow’s about celebrating Haruka, and I think I’ve been acting pretty terribly. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Oh, don’t be so stiff. We’re party members who risk our lives in dungeons together. That makes us basically sisters, right? Don’t worry about it. Let’s talk things out tomorrow with Ryuuto-sama too, okay? I do want to get closer to him, and sure, I’ve got my own thoughts, but I want to keep things fair.”

Kyouka lowered her head and lightly bit her bottom lip. With her long hair cascading over her face, even Rion was struck by how delicate she looked.

“Kyouka. I’m really sorry. Oh—wait, I didn’t even serve tea. Hold on a second.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll do it. Hehe, you just sit down, Rion. Sometimes, having Kyouka-san play hostess isn’t so bad.”

“Kyouka…”

Kyouka stood up smoothly. Suddenly, a chill prickled down Rion’s spine.

Wait a second.

Rion shook her head to dismiss the faint suspicion that surfaced. 

No way. That’s ridiculous. Absolutely not… Right?

Kyouka walked into the kitchen like it was her own home, filled the electric kettle with water, and busily prepared the teapot and cups.

Huh?

Rion caught a glimpse of Kyouka’s profile. Just for a second, the corner of her mouth twisted unnaturally. It looked disturbingly wicked. Rion rubbed her eyes. For a moment, it looked like a shadowy witch emerged from Kyouka’s back. But when she looked again, the shadowy witch had disappeared. It must be just her imagination.

Kyouka is even making me tea, and here I am…

“Here, drink it while it’s hot!”

Kyouka smiled with a sunny, cheerful expression.

“Okay.”

Rion took the teacup and brought it to her lips. She looked into Kyouka’s eyes. Her lips were smiling, but her eyes weren’t. They were dark, like the bottom of a bottomless pit. It felt like a sword had stabbed straight through Rion’s spine. Her fingers trembled as she held the cup.

“You’re not drinking any, Kyouka?”

“Ah—yeah. See, I stopped by Komeda before I came here. I drank way too much iced café au lait—three whole cups! So I’m not thirsty at all. You can have mine too.”

“I see.”

Three hours later.

The two were peacefully watching TV together. Friday Roadshow—it was one of the reliable Miyazaki films. Despite saying she was busy, Kyouka made no move to leave. She kept glancing at Rion and fiddling with her phone restlessly. 

Maybe it was just Rion’s imagination, but she seemed way too fidgety. Rion leaned against her bed, hugging a pillow and watching the vibrant anime colors on screen.

“Hey, Rion. Um, how are you feeling?”

“Fine. Perfectly normal.”

“A-Ah. I see, I see. That’s good! …By the way, it looks like they’re airing Grave of the Fireflies again on Friday Roadshow soon. They haven’t shown it in ages—must’ve been some adult circumstances, huh?”

“Hey, Kyouka.”

“Yeah? What is it? Something wrong?”

“What did you put in the tea?”

“…Hnnngh!?”

Kyouka looked off in a random direction and pouted her lips. She was obviously flustered. Rion took a deep breath and calmly declared.

“You spiked it, didn’t you?”

“Hnnngh!?”

Kyouka’s eyes started spinning in circles. She was usually quite pretty when quiet, but her expression was now a total mess.

“You slipped something into the tea, didn’t you?”

“U-uh, what are you talking about?”

“Still going to play dumb? Then tell me—why didn’t you drink the tea?”

“W-Well. I told you! I wasn’t thirsty!”

“It’s been over three hours. Your excuse is hardly believable.”

“I’m telling the truth!”

“Drink it.”

“Eeeehhh?”

“Drink it.”

“…Tch.”

Kyouka flicked the rim of the teacup with her index finger. The tea splashed and stained the ivory-white cup. Rion quietly picked up the cup and walked over to the corner of the room, where the dungeon parrot Torazou sat.

“Rion, tea please! Tea please!”

Torazou was a rare type of parrot trained for dungeon exploration, able to detect toxic gases with incredible sensitivity. He was also very obedient to his owner, Rion. Torazou pecked at the amber liquid poured into a dish. After a few moments, his eyes flew wide open, and he began squawking in a low voice.

“Poison! There’s poison! Poison in it! Rion, danger! Rion, danger! Super dangerous! Dangerous! Dangerous! Bwah!?”

Torazou fell off his perch with a thud, rolled over with the whites of his eyes showing, and started twitching. White poop squirted from his rear, and bubbles foamed from his beak. When Rion poked him gently, he let out a faint “piii” in agony. He wasn’t dead, apparently. Rion glared sharply at Kyouka. She was whistling nonchalantly with her hands behind her head, as if trying to play it off.

“That was practically lethal.”

“No, no, no! That sounds so bad when you say it like that. I mean, Rion, you’ve been having constipation problems, right? I was just worried and secretly mixed in some medicine to help you go.”

“Oh yeah, your job class is Apothecary, huh? You’re good at making stuff.”

“Right? So where’s your proof?”

“Proof? In cases like this, it’s always the apothecary who’s the culprit—people on social media say so!”

“You’re just accusing people without proof, Detective!”

“By the way, what are the effects?”

“At the very least, you’ll be best friends with the toilet for a whole day.”

“You’re the culprit, aren’t you!?”

“Ugh-!”

As Rion hurled the cup, Kyouka leapt with astonishing agility. Then she grabbed her shoes and bolted for the door.

“It’s just a laxative, so don’t worry! Your life’s not in danger! See ya tomorrow!”

She’s fast!

Kyouka’s physical abilities were top-notch, even by the standards of the Explorers Academy.

By the time Rion burst out into the apartment hallway, all that remained was the sound of a motorbike engine growing faint in the distance.

“Damn, she’s fast. Tch, from tomorrow on, I’m calling her Idaten O-Kyou’! I’m posting this on social media too.”

Rion promptly posted Kyouka’s antics to the thread. Within moments, social media exploded.

“Wait, what!? I don’t have time to be doing stupid stuff like this. I need to get ready for tomorrow!”

She couldn’t afford even the slightest vulnerability if she wanted to see her beloved Ryuuto Sakazaki. To meet him, she had to present the most wonderful version of herself—past, present, and future. But before that… Rion took out her phone and called Haruka.

“Hey, Haruka? Mm-hmm, it’s nothing serious, but whatever you do, don’t meet with Kyouka if she comes by today, okay? Huh? No, no, really, it’s not a big deal. Yeah, yeah. Right. Just… The stars are misaligned or something. Ahaha. Alright, see you tomorrow. …Yeah, yeah, that’s all. I’m looking forward to seeing Ryuuto-san too. Okay, good night. …Phew.”

She put her phone down.

That should prevent any further damage.

She had wasted some time, but there was still time left, and plenty of things she had to do.

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