The Virgin Hero Who Fought in the Dungeon for 20 Years Returned to the Surface Only to Find the Population of the World Has Dropped Drastically, with a Male-to-Female Ratio of 1:1000 - 111-112

Chapter 111: The Battle of the Toilet

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Naturally, Sayaka, Ryuuto’s male guard officer, and Yurina, his secretary, were waiting in the vehicle outside. As he reached for his phone, Marin swiftly struck him with a hand chop.

“Ei!”

“Stop it. What are you doing?”

He quickly blocked it. Ryuuto wasn’t about to be outdone by a half-drunk girl. But Marin, whose dominant hand was grabbed, puffed out her cheeks in dissatisfaction and leaned into him.

“Hug, hug~♡”

“Hey, come on, Marin-san. This is a bit much, don’t you think?”

“No way~♡”

Marin’s body was flushed and burning. Confirming her abnormally high body temperature, Ryuuto blinked rapidly. Marin nuzzled his neck, sniffing and humming, then wrapped both arms around his shoulders. 

Ryuuto sat on the closed toilet lid, holding Marin in his lap. Honestly, the situation was thrilling. His filial son was rebooting again. Feeling his rationality being tested, Ryuuto looked up at the ceiling. The ceiling, too, was painfully white.

“Nooo, Ryuuto-kun, I think I’m drunk.”

“Then why don’t you sober up outside?”

“I don’t wanna go home tonight.”

“No, come on, spending the night in a toilet is a bit much.”

“Hey, hey, Ryuuto-kun. You don’t have to hold back.”

“W-What?”

“Don’t play dumb. This guy down here looks like it’s struggling to hold back.”

“H-Huh? I’m not―”

“It’s okay. I’ll make it nice and easy for you~♡”

“H-Hey, wait, don’t undo my belt!”

“Look, look. My tongue’s long, see? Like a snake. You can let out everything you’ve been holding in, Ryuuto-kun♡”

Game over? Whistle~ What am I getting excited about!? Calm down, me. Ryuuto Sakazaki! Are you okay with letting a mere classmate handle your urges? This is just like those cliché, cheap AV scenarios you always fantasized about, “Ryuuto-kun, let me take care of you.” Is this really okay? Of course it’s fine, right?!

“Wait a second, Marin-san. Let’s cool off and take a step back.”

“I want Ryuuto-kun’s spear to pierce me.”

Yup, this is bad. Time to call for help!

He desperately thought to call for help. But his actions didn’t follow. Ryuuto’s body had already accepted Marin. His thing had been pulled out into the open by Marin, exposed to the cool, refreshing air of the karaoke parlor.

Frustrating, but it feels good♡ Wait, no!

Ryuuto was completely losing it. Marin’s leopard-like gaze slid her slender fingers along, her nails, painted only at the tips, glinting seductively. Then, a thunderous crash suddenly echoed through the parlor.

“What!?”

Marin, who had been kneeling between his legs, lifted her face from Ryuuto’s crotch. Ryuuto quickly tucked his Colt Python back in and stood, listening intently.

“Quiet.”

His switch flipped instantly. He raised his right hand to hush Marin, placing a finger to his lips and focusing on the sounds beyond the door. It seemed several people were running around the parlor in a commotion. Thinking Marin might be anxious, he glanced at her. There she was, jacket off, in just her underwear, face flushed, staring at Ryuuto with glistening eyes.

What the heck!

“Th-This kind of situation really turns me on~♡”

“You’re a pervert, aren’t you?!”

Ignoring her, he strained to hear the commotion outside. Ryuuto’s focused hearing momentarily heightened to the maximum human capacity.

“Where?“

“They escaped that way!“

“They might still be in the parlor.“

“Drinking openly despite being underage students.“

“They’re escaping! Oh, they broke the glass!“

“Hey, don’t resist!“

Opening the door slightly to peek, he saw his classmates from Class 1-C being apprehended by police officers in navy uniforms. The drunk female students were grappling with the officers. No matter how you looked at it, they were being caught red-handed for underage drinking.

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Chapter 112: After the Party

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“Hey, isn’t 15 considered an adult?”

“Wh-What?”

Marin looked off into the distance, playing dumb, but the world wasn’t so forgiving. When Ryuuto pinched her cheeks, Marin finally gave in.

“Ow, ow, ow! I’m sorry! The drinking age thing was a lie. The law’s the same as always—alcohol’s only for 20 and up!”

“That’s obviously bad. But seriously, you guys were way too bold getting booze.”

“But, but! It’s a rare chance. Isn’t it common sense for a girl to get a guy drunk at karaoke and create a done deal?”

“That’s not common sense! And isn’t getting caught pretty bad?”

“Haha, yeah, super bad.”

“Hey!”

Ryuuto shouted. Instantly, Marin deftly spun around in the cramped space, facing her butt toward him, lifting her skirt, and striking a doggy-style pose. Gripping her plump buttocks with both hands and spreading them, she let out panting noises like a female dog. Ryuuto’s mind went blank for a moment from the sheer absurdity.

“So, let’s leave our genes behind in this dire moment? Come on, today’s a super risky day for me, so if Ryuuto-kun nails it once, ooh, I’m definitely getting pregnant!”

Marin wiggled her cute butt seductively.

“Are you an idiot? Getting caught doesn’t mean we’re gonna die!”

“No way! Marin’s definitely gonna conceive Ryuuto-kun’s dominant genes!”

“Don’t just decide to get pregnant on your own!”

“Why not? Marin’s gonna be a great mom~♡”

“No way!”

As Ryuuto tried to shift positions to reason with the completely drunk Marin, there was a loud bang bang on the door.

This is bad! This situation is way too bad. I’ll get expelled! Nee-chan will kill me!

“Sorry, are you using this bathroom? This is the Shinjuku Police Department. Can we have a word?”

The tone was polite but carried an undeniable authority. This was serious—they meant business. Ryuuto racked his brain to break the situation and came up with a single idea.

But Marin was still in her “Come at me!” stance, waiting. To shatter this, he needed something even more impactful.

“If you don’t cooperate, we’ll have to use force!”

They were getting a bit angry. There was no time. It was time to act. Ryuuto’s manhood was on the line. He had to make a choice. The revolver in his mind… The hammers dropped in unison.

Click click click.

All or nothing. Namu Hachiman Daibosatsu! Gods of heaven and earth, protect me!

Steeling himself, Ryuuto unlocked and opened the door.

“Eek! Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize a male was using it.”

Ryuuto’s ultimate strategy was…To face the female officer in just his underwear, pants down. A man should face his end with only a pure white fundoshi—or not, as Ryuuto’s were regular boxers, but the effect on the female officers, who likely had little resistance to men, was tremendous. 

The two officers, probably in their early 20s, squealed while their gazes locked onto Ryuuto’s crotch. They covered their faces with their hands, but peeked through their fingers, burning the slight bulge into their minds. A sad instinct, really.

“S-Sorry—!”

With a crisp salute, the short-bobbed female officer retreated. The door slammed shut with a bang.

“That was close. Hm?”

Ryuuto wiped the sweat from his forehead. Then, a white piece of paper slipped through the door’s gap, fluttering down from high up.

“What’s this?”

Ryuuto looked at the paper. Scrawled in ballpoint pen were a phone number, a Line ID, and the name “Manami.”

What the? The officer from earlier?

A smirk spread across Ryuuto’s face.

“Hmm.”

“Ugh, what’s that?”

Marin, who’d been peering at the note from Ryuuto’s shoulder, swiftly snatched it from him.

“Oh, oh?”

“…Hmph.”

Snorting with disdain, Marin tore the paper to shreds, tossed it into the toilet, and flushed it with a torrent of water.

“Trash gets flushed.”

“Y-Yes.”

Wait a second. I just got handed a note. So why am I feeling so guilty?

Ryuuto was furious. If she were his wife or girlfriend, he’d have to comply, but this was just a classmate who sat next to him. He had to say something. Ryuuto, an apostle of freedom. He wouldn’t be bound by anything.

“Hey—”

He looked up.

“Zzz—”

There was Marin, cheeks flushed like red apples, sitting on the toilet lid, breathing peaceful snores with a serene expression.

Can’t complain to that face.

The chaos soon settled. Or rather, most of Class 1-C got nabbed for underage drinking, and resisting the police didn’t help. Ryuuto, being nearly 40 in real age, escaped punishment for drinking but got a harsh lecture at the police station. Seeing his sister Kazuki, his guardian, bow in apology made him want to disappear from shame.

“Well, we’ve lost some friends, but let’s keep studying hard today!”

The next day, two-thirds of Ryuuto’s class was suspended for a week, leaving the classroom eerily quiet. Koyomi, their homeroom teacher, started the lesson with an even brighter face than usual. Half her face was still swollen, with painful-looking scars, but her steps before the blackboard were lively, like walking on clouds.

“Hey, is that rumor true?”

“No way, Koyomi-chan?”

The remaining girls whispered hesitantly. The reason: a plausible rumor that someone not invited to the welcome party had snitched. Ryuuto stayed silent and glanced at the seat next to him.

“So why are you at school like normal?”

“Huh? ‘Cause I was drinking water.”

Marin was attending school as usual. Her breath test showed no alcohol. So, all that was an act? Ryuuto learned firsthand how terrifying women could be.

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