The Story of How Producing My Timid Older Sister Developed My Sexual Preferences

Chapter 020: 15’s Shy Boy

“Good morning, Sis! I’ll just take the coffee! Also, I have work today so I don’t need dinner!”

I energetically opened the kitchen door and hurriedly told her. An iced café au lait was already prepared on the table. Some of the ice had melted, showing the layer on top.

“Y-yeah. Good morning. You should hurry.”

I was about to be late for school. I must have been really tired — I slept like a log for the first time in a while.

I wet my hair, thoroughly dried it with a towel, and stared into the mirror while applying styling product. Even though I was running late, I thought I was an idiot, but I couldn’t help it — I wanted to look even a little more attractive. I sometimes look at my friends who only talk about sex with cold eyes, but I’m no different.

“Aaah! You could’ve woken me up!”

Irritated that my hairstyle wasn’t coming together, I grumbled to myself. I really did want her to wake me. But we’re not close enough yet for me to casually enter her bedroom. We’re both still being careful around each other.

“Oh right… It’s only been three days since I started talking with Sis properly…”

I gave up on my hair, washed the product off my hands, and went to the kitchen to drink the coffee Sis had prepared.

“Thank you.”

When I picked up the coffee and thanked her, Sis started fidgeting. …What’s up?

As I stared at her, she twisted her fingers and spoke.

“Um… I made sandwiches… I can pack them for your lunch… but you don’t need any, right?”

Actually, I’d be really happy. I wondered why she was asking so timidly.

“Eh, thank you. I’ll take them.”

“Got it. I’ll hurry.”

What kind of smile is that? Is she that happy?

Faster than I could finish my coffee, Sis quickly packed the cut sandwiches into a bento box. The moment I set my cup down, she handed me the lunch in an insulated bag.

“Here you go. Have a good day.”

“Ah, thanks. See you later.”

I rushed out the front door, turning my face away so she wouldn’t see it turning red.

That face is cheating, even without makeup.

I resolved that if any guy ever makes Sis sad in the future, I’ll beat him to death.

…Hm? …Wait? Bento and Sis’s cloudy face. What does this remind me of———

『What the hell is with these carrots!! Why do you do unnecessary stuff!!』

———!? That was when I told her in middle school that I didn’t need a bento anymore!!

My lunchbox back then was way more colorful than anyone else’s. It wasn’t a character bento, but the effort put into it was insane. I felt so embarrassed being babied that lunchtime gradually became unbearable. Then one day there were heart-shaped carrots… and I snapped… Remembering Sis’s face from back then made my chest tighten painfully.

“So that’s why she asked so timidly this morning…”

I really was the worst… If I could go back in time, I’d punch that version of myself, but that’s impossible. When I get home, I’ll tell her it was delicious.

I’m definitely going to have to stand during morning assembly now, but I hurried to school anyway.

When I got home from school, I stopped by the house, put the hand cream for Reina-san in my bag, and headed to my part-time job.

As expected, the moment I entered the classroom, my friends bombarded me with questions about what happened with the girl who picked me up. I told them she wasn’t really my type so I stopped messaging her. Meanwhile, the girl herself (Kaede-chan) had sent me a message on the way home. I just left it on read for now.

When I arrived at work, I greeted everyone as usual and entered the break room. Reina-san, who made eye contact with me, greeted me back. …With a smile so bright it felt like I needed sunglasses.

“Ah, good morning Shimizu-kun. Please take care of me today too.”

“Good morning. Thank you for yesterday!”

“It’s nothing. Did your sister like it?”

“Yes, she was really happy. Thanks to you, Reina-san.”

I’m not sure if she was actually happy about that… but since she stubbornly refused to return it, she must have been pleased.

“You’re exaggerating. So you’re a siscon, huh, Shimizu-kun?”

“N-no, don’t tease me like that. Anyway, I have something I want to tell you… Ah, I’ll go change first!”

I headed to the locker room. Talking with Reina-san feels like it distorts time and space — I have to be careful…

I guess she really does think I’m a siscon… That’s depressing. Also, Murakami-san isn’t here today… I wanted to tell him the reverse pick-up story. He’s good at hyping things up…

I put my change of clothes and bag in the locker. I’m getting nervous about giving her the hand cream. I’ll do it when we leave.

“So listen to this, Reina-san. After shopping that day———”

I told her the whole story from that day. As expected, Reina-san laughed out loud. She really is beautiful… Her level is so different that it actually makes her easy to talk to. Especially when she smiles. I feel that even more when I see her smile. She’s always smiling though.

The other part-time workers were also stealing glances at Reina-san’s face, mesmerized.

“Ehh~? There’s no way you’d mistake a middle schooler for a college student. Fufu, Shimizu-kun notices women’s fashion so well, but you’re surprisingly bad at judging age.”

“She really looked mature! I wanted you to see her too — you’d be shocked. Ahh, I want those excited feelings back.”

But now I’m grateful, Kaede-chan. You became good conversation material with Reina-san.

“So you like older women after all? You also cherish your sister a lot.”

Reina-san said something that made my heart skip. She’s not wrong — I do like older women. Well, lately I’ve also been thinking I should cherish my sister more. Not in a siscon way though. But if I say “yes” to Reina-san, she might think I have feelings for her. Especially when I’m about to give her a gift…

“…No, I don’t really have a strong preference for age…”

“I see. Fufu, your face is red.”

Stop it… My face feels hot. This woman is dangerous! I need to keep my distance.

“I think it’s about time. I’ll go prepare first.”

“It should be slow today since the long weekend just ended.”

“…Got it.”

What the hell was with that “got it”? Reina-san has never teased me like that before, and I got flustered. She really is a bewitching woman. She must have rolled dozens of men’s balls in her palm. She’s still too much for me. Just one teasing comment from that face and mine turns bright red… I need to focus on work.

Just like Reina-san said, it was incredibly slow. Maybe because it was right after the long weekend, before summer break.

While there were no orders, I chatted with the other senior staff in the back, but I was internally nervous about giving Reina-san the present.

That’s right… I should tell her I have something to give her. It would be awkward to do it in front of everyone. I approached her while she was clearing a table.

“Um, is it okay if I talk to you later when we leave? We finish at 9, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right… What’s up?”

“Well… it’s about thanks for yesterday…”

“Ehh~ You didn’t have to. I wonder what it is. I’m looking forward to it.”

Hauu… Please stop with that smile… Don’t mess with my heart any more than this…

“Then I’ll talk to you later.”

Ahh… I’m getting really nervous. The store is so slow today of all days. I ended up fidgeting until closing time.

I ate the staff meal with Reina-san and two other part-timers. Today it was harami (skirt steak) donburi. Perfect — my favorite cut.

“Yes! Harami donburi! My absolute favorite. Thanks for the meal.”

“Fufu, I’m glad. Thanks for the meal.”

It really was delicious. While I was devouring it, I noticed the senior next to me eating incredibly fast. …Seriously? He’s faster than me! I was only halfway done and he had already finished. There’s always someone better.

“Phew, I’m stuffed~”

“Ah, good work.”

“…Good work.”

Reina-san hurriedly stuffed her mouth and then covered it with her hand while greeting. So cute.

“You were really fast… I eat pretty quickly too.”

“Right? You must have been in a hurry.”

As I continued eating, I noticed the meat-to-rice ratio was off. I ate too much meat… I want pickles.

“Fufu, want one piece of meat?”

“I-I’m fine!”

How did she notice…? Was it showing on my face…? This is insanely embarrassing.

“It’s okay, I’m getting full anyway. It was slow today. Here.”

“Thank you…”

I accidentally sounded like Sis. Because… Reina-san picked up a piece of meat with her own chopsticks and put it in my bowl. With Reina-san’s chopsticks… the ones that had been in her mouth… Reina-san’s saliva———

Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it!! I repeated in my head. No good… I lifted the bowl to hide my face and scarfed it down.

“Wow, you’re fast~”

“Sorry… I was really hungry…”

That was dangerous. I almost fell for her. I don’t want to waste time on an impossible crush. I know the probability of success is 0%, and I don’t have the self-destructive habit of deliberately hurting my own heart. Phew… That was close.

“How old is your sister?”

“Eh~ She’s 18. Wait, she’s already 19.”

“I see. She’s one year younger than me.”

“Yeah. But unlike Reina-san, she doesn’t dress up at all and doesn’t have many friends.”

“I don’t have many friends either.”

“You don’t look like it. Also, she doesn’t have even the shadow of a boyfriend.”

“Heh~ I see. But that’s pretty common these days. There are lots of girls like that around me too.”

I want to ask about Reina-san’s top 10 ex-boyfriends, but it’s still too early for that kind of talk.

“I see. Then Sis is still safe too.”

“Yeah, she’ll be fine.”

After that, we had casual conversations about Reina-san’s family and university life———

“Thanks for the meal.”

———The moment finally came. It’s just a thank-you gift. It’s fine. I’ll give it to her.

“Um, about the thank-you I mentioned earlier…”

“Yeah, I’ve been curious the whole time!”

“It’s nothing special, but…”

No, giving daily necessities as thanks might be creepy. I should’ve bought snacks… What do I do? This is definitely creepy. I’m starting to resent that saleswoman. Though it’s my fault for choosing based on the discount.

The more I hesitate, the higher the hurdle gets… I told Sis the same thing.

“…H-here. It’s a thank-you for all the advice. Um, maybe snacks would’ve been better… giving daily items might be weird…”

“Ehh~! I’m so happy! I love this brand. Way better than snacks!”

I could tell she wasn’t lying. I felt happy too. But I want to run away from this situation right now. My face is probably in terrible condition. It feels like I have a fever. My cheeks are burning and I feel like steam is coming out.

Even though it was strange behavior, I thought it was better than being seen, so I buried my face in my arms on the table while talking.

“I’m glad you like it. Thank you so much. I really appreciate all the advice you gave me.”

“Ahaha! Why are you in that position? Fufu, I’m really happy about the hand cream. Thank you… Your ears aren’t hidden though?”

“Kh… Please have mercy. This is the first time I’ve given something to anyone other than family or a girlfriend.”

“Ehh~ Then… I’m even happier.”

“……”

…Please spare me.

“Fufu, sorry. But thank you, really. Do you want me to leave first?”

She asked teasingly with a smile.

I was waiting for those words.

“Please…”

“Got it. I’ll message you later. Good work today.”

“Good work!”

Reina-san left the break room. I didn’t see what kind of face she made, but she seemed happy.

Still, I never imagined it would be this nerve-wracking. Maybe I’m surprisingly shy.

“I wonder if she thinks I’m a cheeky brat…”

Time to go home.

I left the restaurant about five minutes later. Reina-san messaged me right away.

・Good work today. Thank you so much. I’m already using it. It’s one of my favorite scents.

・Good work. I’m glad. It’s just a small thank-you.

・When is your birthday, Shimizu-kun?

・No, you really don’t need to get me anything. It was just thanks.

・You’re still 15?

・Yes, but I’ll be 16 this month.

・What day?

・The 25th.

・Oh, it’s soon then.

I replied to Reina-san while waiting for the bus. So I’m turning 16 soon. Nothing special will really change, but…

I got on the arriving bus and headed home while imagining Sis’s face when I tell her the bento was delicious.

Chapter 021: (Reina) Vanilla and Sandalwood ☆

“Ah, ah, ahh, ahh, ahhh, ahh, nnh! Nnh! Nnh!! Nnhaah!”

“Look, look! Don’t hide your face! Hah, hah, hah, hah, hey!”

The black dildo strapped to my older sister’s hips thrusts in and out of my pussy repeatedly. Since it’s been a while, my voice comes out much louder than I expected. The wet sounds coming from down there sound even splashier than usual, and when I try to cover my face with my palms out of embarrassment, she scolds me.

“Nnh, nnh, nnh, nnh, nnh, ah, aaah, nnaah, ah, I’m, I’m cumming, I’m—!”

“Good girl. Cum for me. Hah, hah, hah, so cute. Hah, cum! Come on!”

The beautiful woman looking down at me smiles with satisfaction and speeds up her hips. Maybe because my insides are so hot, the inorganic toy feels even colder. But every time its tip hits deep inside me, the pleasure that has built up threatens to overflow.

No… I’m going to cum already. We only just started… It’s a deep one… Ah, no…

“Ah, ah, nnaaaah, nghh, I’m cumming, I’m cumminggg, I’m cuuuummmiiing!!!”

My mind goes completely white as the pent-up pleasure explodes all at once. My vision flickers, and even my ears burn hot. I feel her kneading my breasts and planting kisses on my neck. My body twitches and jerks from the aftershocks of climax and the ticklish kisses.

“Haa, nnh, fuu… haa… It’s been so long… I came right away…”

“It’s fine. We still have plenty of time.”

I accidentally said something she would love to hear. She still isn’t satisfied. But I really need her to wait a bit. I’m not used to cumming from inside yet, so I can’t move for a while.

“Hah, fuu… Just a little, nnh… please wait…”

“No… You look the most delicious right now… Look at this… It’s easy to see because it’s black… There’s so much on it, right?”

She proudly shows me the dildo that was just inside me. A large amount of my white love juices is clinging to it. It’s incredibly embarrassing.

…And from her words and gaze, I can tell she’s about to lick my pussy covered in that white fluid.

“Please don’t show me…”

“You really are… so cute. Can you hold your knees up?”

“Nnh… It’s embarrassing…”

“It’s the best… Hamuu, chu, haa, lero, chu, nnh, lero, juu, jyuuyuu.”

“Aaahhh!! No, stop, it’s dirty! Ah, nnnnh, aahhh!!!”

The moment she took my entire clit into her mouth and gave it a light suck, her tongue began licking around the entrance as if savoring it. The skillful movements of her tongue and the overwhelming shame make every sensitive spot on my body harden.

“Nnh… chu… lero… nha… chuju… nnh… juu…”

“Aaah! N-no, again…! Nooo… nooo…”

Her tongue and lips desperately attack me, trying to make me cum. If she keeps making me climax at this pace, I won’t last. I hug my own legs tighter, tensing my stomach as my body curls up and my hips lift. Naturally, this pushes my pussy toward her. Seeing me offering myself even while trying to endure must have excited her, because she moves her tongue even faster.

…I already know, I can’t hold it… Whether I relax or tense up, I’m going to cum… No… ah…

“Ah! Uwaah! I’m cumming!!!”

The strength in my tensed stomach releases with the orgasm, and my body convulses violently. The hands holding my legs lose power, and I sprawl out on the bed like a starfish.

…I can’t anymore. Even breathing is difficult.

“You really do have such a beautiful body.”

She gazes at my body from a slight distance with eyes full of admiration, as if looking at a precious doll.

“Haa, haa, haa… I-I’m sorry… I might not be able to do any more today… haa, haa…”

“Hm? We still have time. It would be such a waste…”

“Haa, nnh… Then let me rest a bit… fuu, fuu… and then just one more time…”

“Then let’s do this. Karen-chan, you’ve never squirted before, right? I’m really good at making girls squirt. So if you squirt, I’ll play with you until time is up. If you don’t, I’ll finish with just one more round. How about that?”

She’s saying something sadistic again. But I have no choice. I’ve been turning down her invitations for sex lately, so she might get tired of me if I keep this up.

“Understood… Let’s do that…”

“My, how challenging. That attitude makes me want to try even harder than usual.”

My quick agreement seems to have annoyed her, and her large, beautiful eyes sharpen.

“Then use the pillow as a backrest and lean against the headboard.”

I do as told, propping the pillow against the headboard and sitting up. Suddenly, she wraps an arm around my head and brings her beautiful face close.

“Nnh, chu, jyu, nchu, jyu, chu.”

She kisses me with deliberately obscene, wet sounds. Her long tongue circles and licks my own. Every time it strokes my sensitive upper palate, my body reacts uncontrollably. The lewd sounds and the long tongue invading my mouth take over all my awareness. A white haze fills my head, and small sparks of pleasure begin to accumulate deep in my belly again.

“—Nnh!”

A sudden caress from outside my awareness makes me moan. Her cool hand strokes my thigh. The lewd kiss continues as that cold hand repeatedly caresses upward, moving closer to my inner thighs. My flushed body breaks out in goosebumps.

…And at the same moment she pulls her tongue from my mouth, she thrusts two fingers inside me.

“Ahfuaaah!! Ah, aaaaaah, i-it, nooo!”

The sudden penetration into my vagina and the release of my mouth cause a weird voice and a large amount of saliva to spill out. It’s so embarrassing, but I can’t wipe it away. My left arm is desperately supporting my thrashing body, and my right hand is tightly gripping her arm to endure the surging pleasure.

“It’s gotten so messy down here—you could almost mistake it for squirt— Look, some love juice just flew out.”

“Nooo! S-stop! I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cuuuummmiiing!!!”

She describes my shameful state in a shaking voice in time with her stirring fingers. I reach climax in an instant. Her fingers still don’t stop, and the overwhelming pleasure continues.

“Not yet. Not until my hand stops.”

“Moouu! N-nooo! Aah!! I can’t, I can’t anymore! I’m cuuuummmiiing!!”

The constant wet, squelching sounds pushing up inside me suddenly become inaudible from the intensity of the pleasure.

“This is the last one. I might lose at this rate.”

“Uuuuuhhhhh~~~ kuuuuuhhhhh~~~!!!!!!!”

I no longer even know what kind of voice I’m making. The stimulation is almost painful. By the time her even more violent finger movements finally stop, I’m lying on my back, staring at the ceiling———

“How frustrating~ Karen-chan really doesn’t squirt, huh.”

“Please stop already… talking about that.”

“There’s no need to be so embarrassed about it. That just makes me more excited.”

After getting out of the bath, we spend the remaining time slowly drinking champagne together. The “remaining time” isn’t the hotel checkout time, but the time my older sister can stay here. She has rented an expensive room for the night. I really wish we could sleep together, but she’s a busy woman and has to fly out early tomorrow morning.

“Did you buy that hand cream? It’s the cheap one, right? I gave you one already.”

“No… I received this one. From a cute boy at my part-time job.”

“Oh really? With your looks, you must be getting lots of gifts from people other than me.”

“…That’s not true. I’m not good with men…”

“But you don’t seem like a lesbian at all, Karen-chan. That’s why the first time I was so excited thinking I’d turned a straight girl.”

“…Please stop already.”

“Well then, I should get going. I’ll contact you when I’m back. Good night.”

“Yes. Good night. Take care.”

With that, she returns to her usual sharp, composed posture and leaves the room with a completely different face from the one she has during sex. She probably hasn’t noticed at all—that I was only pretending to enjoy the pleasure that was almost painful. To her, who is only interested in my exterior.

I am left alone in the spacious hotel room.

I open the lid of the hand cream and smell it. The scent of vanilla and sandalwood. I put a little on my finger and spread it over my hand. It volatilizes against my body heat. The price doesn’t matter. It’s a gentle scent that wraps around my hands. Even if I’m alone tonight, I won’t feel lonely.

“…Good night, Shimizu-kun.”

Chapter 022: (Reina) The Phenomenon Called Me

I was born in a small fishing town in the countryside of Hokkaido. My father was a fisherman. We lived in a large house big enough for seven people — my two younger sisters, my parents, my grandparents, and me — and I grew up with everything I could need.

There is no dark past behind my dislike of men. I was never abused or assaulted. It’s just that at some point, it became physiologically impossible for me… No, that’s not quite right. It started after I grew up and became noticeably attractive. I feel an overwhelming disgust at the way men look at me. Their crude behavior terrifies me. Exactly like this———

“Onee-san! Hey, just a second? Got some time? Hello? Hey?”

“……”

Men calling out to me. Just on the way home from the hotel, five of them spoke to me. Some even grabbed my shoulder. Scary, scary, scary, scary, scary. I don’t know why I’m so afraid. But I am unbearably terrified of being looked at with those eyes. I just can’t put into words exactly what it is.

I don’t feel this way with little boys. I love children. The neighborhood boys in elementary and middle school always called me “Onee-chan, Onee-chan” and adored me. I played with them often.

Then I became a university student and moved out to live alone. I never imagined it would be this lonely. I joined a circle to make friends, but I only attended once. It was hell for me. Still, I made many female friends there and went out to play with them almost every day when I had free time.

Even so, the loneliness was unbearable — being alone in the house. After living with seven people in that noisy household, suddenly being by myself was hard. At night, separated from the sisters I used to sleep with, I painfully realized how much I craved human touch.

My friends started getting boyfriends one after another. I was thinking about dropping out of university and going back home when a friend casually mentioned a lesbian bar. It caught my interest strongly.

I had never considered it before, but I suddenly wondered if I might be a lesbian. Yet I had never felt sexual attraction to women, nor looked at them that way even once. So I wanted to know. I wanted to know who I really was. If I was afraid of men and couldn’t like women either, I might stay lonely forever. Thinking that, I naturally found myself heading to that bar.

I was very nervous. Various women approached me with different ways of speaking. That’s where I met her.

The eyes she directed at me were similar to those men always gave me. But strangely, I didn’t feel discomfort. Maybe because everything about her — her appearance, her way of speaking, her movements and posture — was beautiful.

Before I knew it, I realized I was looking at her with eyes of admiration.

“What’s your name?”

“Here, I go by Rin.”

“Rin-san… I’m——”

“You don’t have to tell me your real name.”

“——I’m Karen.”

“Fufu… Karen-chan. That’s a nice name.”

After hearing her pseudonym, I felt that if I didn’t give a fake name immediately, I might never see her again. So… I impulsively used a name I heard in the music playing in the store.

From that night on, she often took me out to eat. She started giving me brand-name bags and clothes that a normal female college student couldn’t afford. At first I said I couldn’t accept them, but she would always leave them behind saying they were gifts. Wearing those clothes and carrying the bag dramatically reduced the number of men who forcibly tried to talk to me at university.

Continuing my relationship with her cleared the fog in my heart, and my campus life became fulfilling. There was no longer any reason not to like her.

Once I became able to talk to her without tension, she started giving me body touches that normal female friends wouldn’t do. It filled the heart that had been starved for human warmth. Maybe I really am a lesbian after all…

And then came the first night we slept together. I didn’t hate it at all. On the contrary, I genuinely wanted her to touch me more. Learning what sex was, my lonely heart was filled to a surprising degree. That was how I met her. And how I came to know that I was a lesbian—— No. How I tried to convince myself I was one. To bury my distorted sexual desires.

In truth, I had always been aware of it. The neighborhood boys who called me “Onee-chan, Onee-chan.” Their smiles, their voices, their gestures… I had been lusting after them the whole time.

On days I played with them, I would always relieve myself alone afterward. A strong, warped sexual desire lived inside me — so intense that I feared I would commit a mistake if I didn’t.

However, once I recognized myself as a lesbian and my relationship with her progressed, I came to believe that desire had been a mistake, and I thought I had completely killed it.

Then came the phone call from my mother. She told me this year’s catch was poor and things were tough. Still, she said I didn’t need to worry about allowance or tuition. Even so, I decided to start a part-time job.

I took a tutoring job, teaching a first-year middle school boy. His shy, honest replies, the polite language he forced himself to use, and those pure eyes that trusted me completely.

After about two months, every time I entered the boy’s room, criminal acts began simulating naturally in my head. The warped sexual preference I thought I had buried deeply came crawling back to life with shocking ease.

No… perhaps it had already revived the moment I chose this tutoring job.

Soon after, I quit the tutoring job and started working at a yakiniku restaurant simply because it was close to home and school. Aside from a few male staff, there weren’t many people who made me feel unpleasant. It was a normal workplace. I could quit anytime, or not quit — it didn’t really matter.

That’s where a boy started working in the spring. Even though he was still a first-year high school student, he was tall and at first seemed scary. But once we worked together, he was completely different from my first impression.

He was always hardworking, and his face when innocently talking to anyone reminded me of the neighborhood kids. And in his eyes there was a clear, pure innocence. Eyes that seemed as starved for love as I was. Eyes that would probably still believe in love no matter how tainted they became.

Those eyes look at me, and with a voice that never lies, he always calls my name. Reina-san. Reina-san. Reina-san.

A name she never calls me — no, never even tries to learn. My real name——

You always make me happy. With real words. You praise me so much.

When you were excited after being hit on by that older woman, did you feel the same way when I asked for your contact information?

Fufu, just remembering it makes me laugh. The face you made when the meat portion was a little smaller, looking so dejected. Then you immediately turned bright red. Were you conscious of me?

After that, with a nervous face, you tried hard to convey your honest feelings while giving me a present. You got embarrassed and buried your face on the desk, ears turning bright red. It was really hard for me to hold back the urge to hug you.

I’m completely obsessed with you now. I love you so much I feel like I’m going crazy. You’re the first man I’ve ever liked.

You’ll be 16 soon, Shimizu-kun. Fifteen and sixteen are completely different. I wish I had been born one year later.

“I can’t wait to meet you~ 16-year-old Shimizu-kun.”

——I will probably stare at the number “25” written on the calendar every day until that day comes.