Chapter 2

Toru Hasumi ②

The seating arrangement had begun, with each participant drawing a number from a hat.

The way it works is, when it’s your turn, you have to get up from your seat and go to the front to draw a lot.

There is still hope. Though it is highly unlikely that it will come to pass.

After taking a deep breath, I put my hand into the box in front of me and pulled out a piece of paper.

“I’m glad for you; you got a great location once again.”

He calls out to me on my way back to my seat. The result of the raffle is that I got the same seat as before. But it doesn’t matter where I sit. If he’s not the one next to me, none of that matters.

 “I suppose that’s true.”

 “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that last bit; what did you say?”

I smiled vaguely, so that he couldn’t tell a thing/

 “I’m sorry, I said I was fortunate.”

“Yes, I see. Having the same seat two times in a row is truly a miracle, it’s like you have enough luck to win the lottery.”

We don’t know the result of the situation yet. I froze my mind to not get my hopes up too high, but I urged him to take his turn because I wanted to know the ending to this as soon as possible.

 “Look, Himuro-kun, it’s your turn.”

“Looks like it is. Well, I’m off then.”

I watch with bated breath as he headed forward to draw a lot. My hands are sweaty and my throat feels thirsty.

In a strange tension, his hand went into the box and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Too bad.”

I squeeze the words out like that, as if to force myself to understand.

“Oh, I’m praying to God to destroy the world right now.”

I see. Well, then, I’ll do the same. If he can destroy it and start it all over, that might be good.

“I see. Well, I’ll help pray for you.”

“You know what? It’s a shame that the blessed sparks a fire, you know? “

He points a rubber band at my desk and fires at it like a pistol.

I am very sad to think that tomorrow onwards, I will no longer be able to see this scene.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I thought it would be a little sad if I couldn’t talk to you anymore, Himuro-kun.”

“Well, I enjoyed talking with Hasumi-san, too, I think. But it’s not like we’re going to be in different classes, so it’s not as if we won’t be talking at all.”

“I’m not sure. Because, Himuro-kun, you don’t talk to me on your own, do you?”

He is not likely to actively talk to me because of his personality.

Besides, I cannot talk to him so carelessly. I know that doing so in the absence of a relationship with the person sitting next to me could lead to some… unnecessary arguments.

“That’s true. It’s so hard for me to get up from my seat during break time, except for when I go to the restroom.”

“Right? So we don’t get much time to talk at all otherwise.”

I hurt myself with my own words. What a stupid woman I am, I think to myself with a self-mocking smile.

“I suppose that’s right; however, if we have the opportunity, I’d appreciate it if we do continue to talk to each other.”

“…Yeah, I’ll see you around.”

The surroundings begin to move, and his back moves away from me.

My heart was too weak to anticipate that someday. So let’s just forget about it.

Because I know that the less I expect it, the less I will be hurt.

Test week had begun and there were more and more people surrounding me during this time, whether they wanted my help studying or not.

And as even more people came along with them, I responded by examining their hearts and minds.

I had to nip them in the bud as soon as possible, so I handled them with a full head of steam without expressing it outwardly.

It may be because everyone is no longer going to club activities and there’s more time for them to hangout after school.

Although it was only supposed to be for a few days, my peaceful times were extremely limited, and my migraines that had been under control for the past month or so were

slowly returning.

And as summer vacation approaches, the number of troublesome interactions also increases.

“What are you going to do during summer vacation, Toru-chan?” (I wish I could go somewhere with you…)

Chika Kiriya, a girl sitting next to me, talks to me. It seems that she wants to connect with her good friends who are also gathered nearby.

“Maybe I’ll meet up with some friends from junior high school or go back to my hometown.”

I reply back with a safe answer and ask how things are going on her end.

“I see, you said your hometown is far away, right! What’s it like?”

“It’s a village in the middle of nowhere. There’s nothing to see there.”

I don’t want her to show too much interest in me, so I choose words that convey that it’s not a special place.

“Is it a village? I’ve never been there before! Do you live near the ocean or mountains?” (Is there really such a thing as a village?)

Apparently, the other party saw it differently and was instead intrigued.

“It’s not far, is it?”

“Eeee! Then I want to go there with everyone. No?” (It would be great if we could all travel together in the summer.)

“I love it! Travelling together. Sounds like so much fun.”

I realize that I had made a bit of a poor choice with my words, as the people around us seem to be very interested. Even though I didn’t say it was a good idea, they seem to be in quite the mood.

“There’s really nothing going on over there, and it’s quite boring.”

“That’s great! If we go together, everything will be fun together!” (This is a great opportunity. If we go to the beach and create a good mood, we might have a chance.)

When the tall boy, who seems to be the love of Chika Kiriya, said this, everyone’s tension reached a climax, and the atmosphere was no longer suitable to be able to stop them.

I could forcefully refuse him at this point. However, it would probably make a bad impression if I do so.

It might be a bad idea to do so here, with these girls who are very influential in the school year.

“I’ll ask… and check if we can all go together once.”

“Yes! But even if not, let’s all go somewhere together anyways. It’s summer for high school students, we have to enjoy it plenty!” (I don’t mind as long as I can go somewhere with Kariya-kun and his friends. )

Kiriya-san says so with a big smile on her face. Apparently, there is no way out of this.

I personally don’t want to take her back to my hometown, so the only thing I can do for now is to buy me some time and lead her to a place away from my home..

“…I guess so. I’ll let you know when I hear more.”

“Thank you! I really love you, Toru-chan!” (She also lends me her notebook, and is really the best friend I’ve ever had. Now all I need is for Kariya-kun to give up on her and I’ll be set.)

The people around me seemed to have turned their attention to summer vacation and the conversation picked up steadily.

I plastered a smile on my face and waited for the time to pass, hammering away appropriately. Occasionally, I look at Himuro-kun as if I were asking for help in this situation.

◆◆◆◆◆

My sleep is not as good as it was before, and there were dark circles slowly beginning to return around my eyes.

Along with this, my migraines began to follow me daily again, so I took menstrual pills to fool the pain.

“What an awful face.”

With a practiced hand, I applied some makeup and covered up my face. It’s especially troublesome to be approached with a concerned look, partly because it’s hard to say no to that.

In addition to being so crafty by nature, I began learning this skill in eighth grade when I was in a class with no good friends, and I believe that my skill level is as good as any normal adult’s.

At least the boys in high school, who are still less experienced, won’t find out a thing.　

“Tomorrow is summer vacation, huh…?”

I’ve also made some less-than-enthusiastic plans to go along with them. Well, I have plans with some good friends who went to high school far away from me and with my grandmother, so that’s probably the only thing that helps me go on.

In this cold, colorless winter, I live my life with happiness as faint as the light of a match.

I honestly didn’t have time to think about what I wanted to do, which I had talked about before with him.

TL:””

ED: Spynine01