The Stories I Loved Refused to Choose Me, and That Was My Plan From the Beginning

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

“I’m guessing this is your first time here, right?”

His voice was gentle, almost careful, as if he didn’t want to disturb the night itself.

Fireflies hovered lazily around us, their faint lights blinking in and out like fragile stars. The air was cool, carrying the faint scent of water and grass.

In front of us, the lake stretched endlessly, its surface smooth and glass like, perfectly reflecting the moon hanging high above.

It was beautiful.

Too beautiful.

“Y-Yeah…” I said softly. “I didn’t even know a place like this existed.”

My voice felt small. Out of place.

I’d lived here my whole life, yet somehow, I had never seen this lake before. Or maybe… I had just never been brought here.

I kept staring at the water, at the moon’s reflection trembling slightly with every breeze. I didn’t dare look at him. Not yet.

The atmosphere between us felt strange heavy, but not uncomfortable. Like the calm before something inevitable. Something neither of us wanted to acknowledge.

The silence stretched longer than it should have.

“I take it…” he said after a moment, his tone soft but knowing, “…you’re with him now?”

My heart skipped painfully.

“T-That’s right…” I swallowed. “We… made it official yesterday.”

The words felt sharp as they left my mouth, cutting straight through my chest.

I had been given a choice.

Him… Or Daiki-kun.

“So that’s how it turned out,” he said with a short laugh, scratching the back of his head. His lips curved into a grin familiar, comforting… and unbearably sad. “I kind of expected it, honestly.”

He stopped walking and slipped his hands into his pockets, staring ahead. The fireflies drifted past him, oblivious.

“The moon’s really beautiful tonight, huh?”

“…Yeah.” I whispered.

But I knew that wasn’t what he meant.

The moon was beautiful.
And so was the moment.

That was why it hurt.

“……”

The silence pressed down on me, squeezing my chest tighter and tighter. I wanted to say something, anything, but the words refused to come.

I knew what he was asking without asking.

And I hated myself for already knowing the answer.

“Pfft-” He chuckled suddenly, then laughed softly, as if trying to lighten the mood.

The sound faded quickly, leaving behind an awkward stillness. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. Gentler. “So… that’s your answer, huh.”

I flinched.

“I guess you don’t really feel the same way about me at all.”

“N-No!” I said quickly. “That’s not it! I- I mean- It’s complicated…”

“I see.” He nodded slowly. “So you see me more as a brother than… someone you could love?”

I nodded.

I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes.

“So…” he said with a small smile, “I’m rejected, then.”

The word echoed painfully in my head.

Rejected.

Why… was he smiling?

His eyes were dull, his shoulders slightly slumped-he was clearly hurt. And yet, there was something peaceful about him. As if he had already accepted this outcome long before tonight.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I don’t hold anything against Daiki. He’s my friend too, after all.”

Friend.

The word stabbed deeper than I expected.

He spread his arms wide, as if embracing the night itself.

“If the two of you can be happy,” he said, “then I’ll be happy too.”

That was when my chest finally gave in.

“I-I’m sorry…” My voice broke. “*…-kun… I really am. I just- Daiki-”

My words tangled together, falling apart before they could mean anything.

…-kun.

The boy who had always been there.

When we were kids, he was loud and annoying. Always teasing me, always pulling my hair, always getting scolded alongside me. I used to think he’d never change.

But over these past years… something had shifted.

He stopped joking so much. He became introverted and as quiet, as if something had happened to him.

There was a time, he became uncontrollably annoying but then something inside him realized it.

And for the first time.. listened when I spoke. He stayed by my side when I felt overwhelmed, when I cried, when I didn’t know what to do.

He became reliable.

Someone I could lean on without realizing it.

And Daiki-kun…

Daiki made my heart race. Being with him felt warm, safe, exciting. He made me feel seen in a different way. In a way that scared me… and thrilled me.

I knew the difference between those feelings.

That was why choosing hurt so much.

Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them. I clutched my chest tightly, biting my lip until it hurt.

“You’re important to me too,” I said, my voice trembling. “Really. You are. But… I choose Daiki. I love him.”

“I understand.”

He stepped forward suddenly and wrapped his arms around me.

The hug was tight. Familiar. Warm.

It felt like home.

“It’s fine,” he whispered near my ear. “I’m really okay. I mean it.”

But I could feel his hands trembling slightly.

After a moment, he pulled away and took a few steps back, creating distance between us.

“Just be happy with him, alright?” he said. “I know you two will be fine.”

“…What do you mean?”

Something about his tone made my heart sink.

“What are you-”

“But listen, Hanako-chan,” he said, smiling gently under the moonlight. “I wish you the best. Just… promise me you’ll be happy.”

Then, quietly he took out his phone and gently smiled and turned towards me.

“I love-”

The soft words that he was about to tell me, were abruptly interrupted.

“*…-kun?

Because he was gone.

“…Huh?”

I blinked.

The place where he had been standing was empty.

“W-What…?”

I spun around, my heart pounding wildly.

“He- he just disappeared…?”

Panic flooded my chest.

“Where are you!?” I shouted, pulling out my phone with shaking hands. I scrolled through my contacts desperately.

Nothing.

Something was wrong, i have a feeling that something is not right here…!

“…*…-kun?”

My head throbbed painfully, like something was clawing at the inside of my skull.

“Wait… his name is-”

I froze.

“No… that’s not right…”

I know his name.
I’ve always known it.

“I remember! I do!”

I opened my notes app and started typing frantically, my fingers moving on instinct.

A name I’d typed countless times.
A name my hands should remember even if my mind couldn’t.

“Yawi…?” “No-!” “Yuto…?”

“That’s not it-!!”

I screamed, tears streaming down my face.

Why couldn’t I remember?

Why wouldn’t it come out?

He exists. I know he does!

He’s been my childhood friend since we were kids!

His parents… right! His parents!

Maybe I was just imagining things. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me after everything that happened.

That had to be it.

Ring… Ring…

Someone picked up.

“Yes~?”

His mother’s voice. My neighbor since childhood, i would often go to their house as a child back then and I would be greeted by her with a warm smile.

“T-Tanaka-san…!” I said desperately. “Where is- um… I-”

“Oh dear, calm down, Hanako-chan. What’s wrong?”

“Y-Your… your son!” I cried. “Where is he!?”

“…Son?”

There was a pause.

“…Dear… we don’t have a son.”

My entire body went cold.

“…W-What?”

“Tanaka-san… please stop joking,” I begged. “I need to know where he is. He- he just vanished-!”

“Hanako-san,” she said gently, “where are you right now? Let’s talk about this calmly. We don’t-”

“P-PLEASE!” I screamed. “I KNOW HE’S THERE-!”

“…”