Vol 1 Chapter 1 – Pleased to Meet You, Holy Sword

——Boredom is bliss.

I tipped my face toward the sky, a radiant smile spreading across my lips.

Everything around me was perfectly silent.

Lush greenery hemmed me in, trees on every side, and because I was far from any place humans frequented, there wasn’t so much as a hint of noise.

This place… this place right here was my very own Avalon.

“Seriously, I never want to go through that frantic, life-threatening chaos again.”

Why on earth did I have to run myself ragged for the sake of mere humans?

I have no idea how many years ago that was, but the memories haven’t dulled a bit.

By now, so much time has passed that the human who once wielded me must be long dead.

And even after all that time, I still have zero desire to repeat the experience.

Thinking about how much I loathed it almost makes me laugh.

“Well, it’s got nothing to do with me anymore. I won’t let even the tiniest whim sway me again.”

I muttered the words as though lecturing myself.

Right beside the Holy Sword that stood thrust into the ground.

◆

“D-damn it! It won’t budge…!”

“A-ra-ra. All that effort for nothing. I told you—I’m never letting you pull me out.”

In front of me, a man was struggling mightily to yank the Holy Sword out of the earth.

He had a rough look about him, and from the wild aura he gave off, he was clearly no ordinary civilian.

Given that I’m not human, I couldn’t care less how much humans hurt one another.

“No matter how much strength I pour into it, it doesn’t twitch! What kind of magic is this?!”

“It’s not magic—I just don’t like you, so I’m resisting. Simple as that.”

I could say whatever I pleased; he couldn’t hear me anyway.

Like I’d ever let anyone pull me out.

I intend to be a shut-in right here for life, reveling in my boredom and leisure.

“Tch”

“If I had the Holy Sword, I figured I could live however I wanted, but nooo… total waste of a trip.”

“See ya.”

I waved as the man cursed under his breath and stomped off.

Man, what trash.

The moment someone grips my hilt, I can more or less tell what kind of person he is.

I mean, I am a Holy Sword, after all.

Unless he’s a good soul—someone you’d call a Hero—he basically can’t handle me.

And that guy was rotten, no matter how you sliced it.

All he thought about was himself, trying to use me to satisfy his own desires.

Like I’d ever let someone like that pull me free.

“Not that I’d let a so-called Hero or Saint yank me out either.”

I’m staying put.

The other Holy Swords are probably playing nice and doing favors for people…

but the few humans who show up these days seem pretty shady, according to them.

Not that it matters to me.

I’m not the one suffering, after all.

I spend my days lounging around alone, soaking in the boredom, and mocking the occasional visitor—that’s all I need.

What a splendid life—no, sword-life—this is.

“Hn? Another human already?”

“Zari-zari”—crunching footsteps pressed into the earth.

The place isn’t exactly hidden, so the occasional traveler does wander in. Still, it’s a long hike from any village, and monsters prowl the area, so visitors are rare…

“That is unusual. Well, the result’s always the same, though.”

I gave a lazy comment and turned my eyes back to the sky—just in time for him to appear.

The mightiest, worst-case-scenario Hero who would wreck my peaceful life.

“So this is the Holy Sword…”

The man was tall and slender.

Snow-white hair, crimson eyes—features you don’t see every day.

You can size most people up at a glance, but this guy was unreadable.

He gazed at me—standing majestically plunged into the ground—then strolled closer.

“That’s right. I’m a terrific sword. Land me as your partner, and life gets amazing. Not that you’ll ever pull me out.”

I puffed out my chest with a smug hmph.

I won’t let anyone draw me, but I still want them to know how great I am.

Not that he could hear me while my form was concealed.

The man stopped right in front of me.

“I have something I must do—and to do it, I need this Holy Sword.”

With that firm declaration, he wrapped his hand around my hilt.

“———!?”

Like with the last guy, the instant someone touches my grip I can read his character. That talent told me the previous visitor was a petty crook.

Even if I’d wanted to be drawn, that man never could have managed it.

Now this one…

Because he grabbed the hilt, his nature flowed straight into me—

“GYAAAAAAH?!”

A shriek tore out of me.

Why? Easy:

This man… possessed a terrifyingly radiant, saintly soul—irresistible bait for a Holy Sword.

“Wh-what is this spotless heart?! Pure as driven snow?! A human this untainted—really?!”

Not even my ex-Hero wielder, nor the Saints who tried me later, had hearts this white!

He embodies justice more purely than anyone I’ve ever met!

And that’s a disaster—for me.

“M-my walls are melting?! My tightly locked heart’s being pried open!”

No matter who tried, I never intended to let anyone draw me again.

I already labored for humans once.

Never again. From now on, I’m a shut-in enjoying a quiet retirement.

So even Saints got the boot.

But here’s the snag.

Like it or not, I am a Holy Sword. By nature I’m hopelessly weak to ‘good’ and ‘justice.’

My iron will repelled every Saint so far, but…

Wow, is he attractive—from a sword’s viewpoint!

He’s practically a Holy-Sword cheat code!

Stop! Please just give up!

I screamed that in my mind while resisting with all I had, yet he only tightened his grip and heaved—

“UOOOOOOOOH! COME OUT!”

“NOOOOOOO! DON’T COME OUT!”

Our screams echoed through the clearing.

Aaah—he’s making me twitch!

“OHHHHHHHHH!”

“I-I won’t budge! I’m staying shut-in! I don’t care about humans! I’m retiring right here!”

No matter how dazzling a guy he is to a Holy Sword—

I will not fall! I’m not like those hussy-swords!

I kept rejecting him with all my might, and then—

“HNNGH!”

“———”

“Bogoo!”

The sound definitely wasn’t a clean blade-being-drawn noise.

The man was holding the Holy Sword aloft in triumph.

But I hadn’t let him draw me. I hadn’t lost.

So why was he brandishing me above his head?

Simple.

—He’d ripped me out along with a whole chunk of ground.

“…It came out.”

“No it did NOT! I never agreed to this! You yanked the earth out with me!”

Look—my tip’s still caked in a slab of dirt and rubble!

How does that equal “It came out”…? Are you stupid?!

“So the Holy Sword has chosen me…”

“Chosen you?! Not even close! That was brute force! And how does brute force work on something you’re not even supposed to draw?!”

What kind of extraction was that?!

No Holy Sword has ever been “drawn” like this!

Seriously? Your brain says “chosen” after that?

Is this guy actually dangerous?

Maybe that aura of justice was just what I perceived…?

While I blinked in disbelief, the man fixed his gaze on me.

“So, who’s the noisy one?”

“Ah—”

Up to now I’d kept my form hidden, but once someone becomes my wielder, that trick stops working.

He could see me perfectly.

“U-uhm…”

What do I do…? Is there a last-second save here?

I racked my brain and finally…

“I’m just a passing village girl.”

“Nice to meet you, Holy Sword.”

“You know who I am!”

Why’d you ask, then?!

And so, I was forcibly—not formally—“drawn” by this incomprehensible man.

Seriously… what is his deal?