Volume 4 Chapter 71: Won’t You Open It?【Final Volume: Balor and Nanashi Arc】

“Mm… it’s iffy…”

Sitting on the bed, I was deep in thought. I had been completely naked to catch a cold, yet when dawn broke, I didn’t feel nearly as sick as expected.

Not that I was in peak condition, but I wasn’t feeling unwell either. I hated my own robust body…

“Well, I managed somehow with my acting skills. After all, I’m simply amazing.”

Today was all about slacking off. I figured that if I acted like I was really worn out, it would work.

Ever since all that commotion in the royal capital, I’ve noticed that Ashvin has become a bit overprotective. That’s a really good sign.

She should spoil me even more—and besides, it’s true my condition isn’t perfect.

After all, just on the day Konoha dragged me out, I dodged death in the double digits. Of course, doing that inevitably left me with muscle soreness.

My body is wrecked. Seriously, what the heck!

“It’s all her fault…” I fumed, picturing Konoha’s unsettling, bewitching smile. After that, I made sure to rat her out to Ashvin.

Naturally. Ashvin—who doesn’t seem to be involved in trying to assassinate me—was smiling with bulging veins.

Knowing her anger was aimed at Konoha made me chuckle inwardly, but the thought of it being directed at me nearly made me lose my nerve. From now on, as long as she’s watching, I swear I’ll work seriously.

Still, if I could direct that anger at Konoha, it would really set my mind at ease.

“By now, I bet Ashvin is having her way with you, huh? I hope she keeps at it for months on end.”

Originally, Ashvin intended for Konoha to perform her maid duties, yet she broke free on her own and dragged me around—clearly infuriating Ashvin. Since Konoha was hauled off, I doubt I’ll see her face for a while.

I hope she becomes so utterly worn out that she no longer cares about me. In the meantime, I’ll devise a way to fire her.

“So, what excuse should I come up with…”

There’s no legal problem with firing her for no reason—I’m a noble, after all. Basically, we nobles can get away with anything when dealing with commoners. Well, it’s precisely because of that that we end up being despised.

Just by doing ordinary things, my standing shoots up so high that it’s almost effortless. I wish nobles would remain as wretched as ever.

That aside, what if I fire Konoha without any reason? …Isn’t that dangerous?
It’d be absolutely risky. I’m certain she’d take revenge.

I trusted that woman in a way I shouldn’t have. That’s why I have to come up with a dismissal excuse that she can accept.

What should I do…? Maybe I’ll go with the tried-and-true, “for your own sake…”
When someone’s told it’s for their own good, they rarely have the guts to object. I don’t know if that’ll work on Konoha, but it seems like the best idea…

“Balor-chan”

“Huh!?”

My shoulders jerked upward—in fact, my body literally jumped off the bed. I was that frightened. Of course—why on earth was I hearing Konoha’s voice at the door, when she was supposed to have been taken away by Ashvin?

“I-idiot… way too soon… Weren’t you supposed to be gone for months!?”

…Ah, it was just my imagination.

“Hey, Balor-chan. Could you open the door for me?”

“Uh, well… I’m feeling a bit under the weather, and I wouldn’t want to pass it on to you, so I really don’t feel like opening the door.”

I’m saying it for your own good! Now, get back quickly, you bitch.

“Well, I’m worried… Could it be my fault?”

That’s right. I’ll never forget the day you nearly killed me.

“No, don’t worry about it. Still, the fact is my body is completely exhausted, so I’ll just take it easy today.”

Alright, I won. I couldn’t help but smirk.

That’s a perfect argument. The best excuse ever.
Will anyone still try to argue after hearing this? No, there won’t be.
If there is, they’re an absolute idiot.

“Then even more so, I really want you to open the door. I made a delicious meal just for you, Balor-chan.”

Damn it! This one’s an absolute idiot!

No, no, no, no! I absolutely refuse!

Cooking? Food?! I have a terrible feeling about this!
I only foresee a meal that’s utterly awful!
Give me a break—clumsy maids like you are no longer trendy!

“Hey, Balor-chan”

I have to find a way… I must refuse her somehow. My brain is working so fast it feels like it’s about to fry.
I need to come up with an excuse! Worst case, if I can’t think of one, I’ll have to escape out the window.
At that point, I’ll say I hallucinated because of my cold. Yeah, not bad.

In any case, I’m not going to give in to Konoha…

“――――――Won’t you open it?”

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you.”

Before I knew it, I found myself standing in front of the door, opening it for Konoha. My body moved before I could even think.
That is, pure survival instinct. If I had stayed locked in, death would have awaited me.
…Why must I be so scared of my own maid!?

“Ehehehe. Thank you, Balor-chan.”

She walked in with a beaming smile, but I saw it—Konoha’s face was completely expressionless, as if devoid of any emotion.
To be honest, it was terrifying. It was scary enough to make me almost lose my nerve.
Damn it! I wish I had the guts to say no!

“Hehe… mmm. This is a meal made just for you, Balor-chan—only for you to eat.”
“Oh, really? That sounds delightful.”

In high spirits, Konoha placed a dish on the table near the bed. I wonder if it’s soup?
Admittedly, for someone like me (supposed to be in a weakened state), it’s commendable she didn’t bring a heavy meal. With soup, I just have to drink it.
Yeah, not a bad call. But still… I’m a bit curious.

“By the way, what on earth is that pungent odor?”
“Hmm, perhaps it’s rainbow mushrooms?”
“I see. And what about this purple one?”
“Hmm, maybe it’s swamp water?”
“I see. And this little guy with a fish head, who’s letting out an indescribable scream?”
“Hmm, perhaps a fairy?”

I see, I see. That makes sense.
I nodded along, clearly understanding what she meant.
Hahaan.

“It seems you don’t have much of an appetite, so maybe next time…”

This is way past awful cooking! You’re clearly trying to kill me! I can’t imagine it being any other way—and if not, that’s a huge problem in itself. Why on earth haven’t you used any proper ingredients?!

I want to yell that out, but I’m too scared of Konoha to actually say it. It can’t be helped.

“I made this all morning for you, Balor-chan. You’ll eat it, won’t you?”

Konoha tilted her head with a drawn-out “Hmm,” her neck bending in a way no normal person’s would.
“Your neck isn’t broken, is it?”
But this behavior…
Is it because you know I won’t eat it? I’m being threatened…!?

“Oh, it looks like you’re feeling so unwell that you’re swaying.”
“That’s just right. I was hoping it might have some restorative benefits…”

A wish?! That’s utterly unconvincing!
I mean, who in their right mind would calmly reach for a spoon after hearing that? By hedging your words, you’re basically admitting that even you know this dish is atrocious!

“N-no, it’s really because of that. I’m like this because of that.”
“Yes, Balor-chan. Open up.”

Even though I was trying to give a logical excuse, Konoha didn’t seem to care at all and just extended a spoon.
Damn it… The spoon’s handle is bending in a wobbly way, succumbing to the atrociousness of the soup…?
Hey, don’t bring that poison near me! My body is too delicate… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

After that, I don’t remember anything.