Volume 1 Chapter 2: Are You an Idiot?

Being a noble is surprisingly tough.

Many foolish commoners—who understand nothing at all—hold the absurd notion that being noble guarantees happiness.

But in reality, it isn’t so.

That simply can’t be.

Firstly, the responsibility is tremendously heavy.

Since policies determine the prosperity of the territory, if the economy takes a downturn, the lord is immediately blamed.

Also, the lord is like a middle manager, sandwiched between the commoners and the nation’s top-tier nobles.

Being pushed up from below and suppressed from above… anyone with average mental strength would soon break down.

And, surprisingly, you also have to keep the commoners happy.

If you mess up, the commoners might even kill you.

That’s why I put on the act of being a good lord.

Frankly, all the nobles in this country are idiots.

Most of them don’t understand even a bit of what I’ve just figured out.

And because of that, plenty routinely mistreat the commoners and enforce oppressive measures.

Thus, even though I’m not doing anything special, just doing what is normal makes me appear as an excellent lord in comparison.

It’s really helpful having idiots around.

My reputation skyrockets because of it.

I love it.

“Well, that said, I don’t actually want to be a lord.”

I thought about it earlier, but still, being a lord is hard work.

Even if it’s just doing ordinary things, it’s still exhausting.

For someone who genuinely cares about the people and the prosperity of the domain, being a lord could be seen as an exciting role.

After all, you can practically implement whatever policies you want.

But I don’t want that.

There’s nothing I particularly want to do.

I don’t want to do anything that’s hard or painful.

I just want to enjoy the sweet rewards.

However, even someone like me—born of noble blood—is in a position where I must be a lord.

So then, how can I lead an easy life, sipping that sweet juice?

I pondered.

I thought and thought and thought… until I finally reached a conclusion.

“Why don’t I let someone else be the lord, and have them take care of me?”

Genius, huh?

I couldn’t help but be terrified of my own intellect.

That’s right.

I don’t have to be the one.

I could simply lend my name to the role.

I’ll elevate someone who is both talented and willing to indulge me, let them bring prosperity to the territory, and have them support me.

Hmm, perfect.

I even found myself breathing heavily in anticipation.

That’s why I’m putting on the act of being a gentle, people-loving lord.

Frankly, even if I acted like a proper noble, the kind of talent I’m after would never show up.

Sure, there might be some capable scumbags out there, but when it comes to someone who’ll let me be spoiled, I’m far too cautious to trust any scum.

I need someone kind-hearted who always puts me first—a surrogate, if you will.

That’s exactly what I’m after.

“The goal was clear, and the efforts along the way were flawless. My ambition hadn’t been in the slightest bit dimmed…”

I glared sharply.

There, standing, was Nanashi.

Some time ago, the root of all evil took up residence as a maid in my mansion.
This utterly unredeemable crazy woman always gets in my way.

She gets in my way!
I just can’t forgive it… I just can’t forgive it…!

While people are desperately chasing their dreams, Nanashi casually kicks aside all the hard work they’ve built up.
How can anyone possibly forgive that!?

Isn’t that absurd?!
Normally, if someone is chasing a dream, you’d support them, right?!

I would. I certainly would.
But this woman is different.


“What are you staring at so intently? It’s gross…”

Nanashi’s face twists in pure disgust.
“Don’t worry—I won’t look at you that way, you self-obsessed woman.”

“Does it really feel gross to be stared at by a handsome guy like me? Are your eyes rotten?”
“They’re perfectly normal.”
“No, if they were normal, they wouldn’t be as pitch-black as the eyes of that kid I once saw in the slums…”
They’re darker than that kid’s.
A deep abyss, as if you’ve caught a glimpse of this world’s darkness.

Scary.

“Besides, isn’t the reason I interfere with Master’s ambitions perfectly simple?”
“What the hell?”

I know.
I do know, but I have to ask again—hoping it’s just a misunderstanding.
Then, puffing out his chest, Nanashi declares:

“Because I want to claim the entire Apophis family fortune for myself. If a competent person shows up, I won’t be able to wrap them around my little finger!”

That’s so blatant…!
And it’s not something one should ever say with such pride.

I’m sick of this person who spews out such outrageous desires.
Yes, this woman is hideously repulsive—a creature who dares try to claim every bit of the taxpayers’ money, meant solely for me, for herself.

Unbelievable…
How can she dare use the tax money—earned from the commoners’ tears—for her own selfish desires…?
And how can she say that so openly to me?
You’re saying things that, by any normal standard, would have you executed, you know?

“But Master also uses the taxpayers’ money for his own sake, right? Isn’t that a double standard?”
“Are you stupid? Being used for my sake is something you should actually be proud of, isn’t it?”
“Are you stupid?”

Y-you… calling me—a Master, a noble, a lord—stupid…
I want to get rid of this damn maid right now…

Anyone would think to kick her out immediately.
I do too.

But damn, she’s really competent.
Her housekeeping skills are outstanding—she handles almost all the cleaning of this spacious mansion and tends the garden on her own.
In other words, if I fire her, this mansion will become a total dump.
I have no intention of doing it myself.

Obviously.
I hate having to perform all day, which is why I hardly ever hire anyone.
Besides, the commoners praise me for not hiring unnecessary help and acting all high and mighty, so it’s fine.
Hmph, they’re so easy.

After all, the fools should serve me.
Thinking that, I get on with my work.

Ugh… what a pain…
I need to find someone soon who will do this work in my place and support me.

A series of knocks sounds at the door, and a maid other than Nanashi enters.

“Balor-sama, I have brought additional petitions.”
“Ah, thank you.”

I greet her with a bright smile.
It’s my super-handsome noble mode.

Only Nanashi knows my true nature.
The others… especially the maids who serve me, must never know.
At least, not until I find my next parasitic host!

“…………”

What’s with that look, Nanashi?
You’re really something—reflect on yourself.

“Here are petitions from Sure Village, and here are those from Kei Village.”

The maid cheerfully sorts through the documents.
Her name is Ashvin.