The Regression Of A Grand Mercenary - 40 - Drinks and Talks

I could have done it better…

…I thought I did, but it turns out, I can’t expect everything to turn out my way…

This isn’t hunting…this isn’t trapping a monster, luring them into a dead end… My brother isn’t a monster I can lead into trap and expect him to fall to my plans…

He’s a man of his own ideas…

So, what do I do now?

*******

As my brother was recovering in the clinic, I found myself by the tavern of the guild, drinking mead as I normally would have in my past life.

In my own heavy thoughts…I couldn’t help but think back to my mistake.

“…I could have done it better.” I said as I stared at the foam that was on my cup. The fizzling noise of beer was clear to my ear…

The smell of alcohol…one of the things in my life that helps me distract myself from everything else.

Right now…I want things to go back to being as simple as hunting monsters.

As I was brooding by the counter of the tavern, all of a sudden, Stella came by with her own drink on hand.

With a delicate glass on her hand that was filled with a citrus smell and a glazing pink look, she turned my way with a somber smile.

“…”

“…What?” I asked as I turned to her with a guilty look.

“Nothing, I just didn’t expect a person your age to be drinking, that’s all.”

“I’m old enough to drink.”

“Hmm.” she smiled and simply stared at me after that bland conversation.

“Do you have something to say to me?” I asked.

“No, not really…well, maybe.”

“…Why are you here?”

“Well, I just want to take a look at what kind of person you are.”

“…” feeling a bit at odds with her reason, she was being too upfront with me. So knowing her, I had an inkling of where she was leading this conversation.

“Look, I’ll be honest with you…I’m really interested in who you are.” she said in a calm and curious smile.

“…” without saying anything to her honesty, I simply took a sip of the mead in my hand.

“Here’s what I understand about you so far. First off is the fact that you have a talent with making weapons. A talent great enough to even impress one of the greatest swordsman we have here in the city. Second is the fact that you’re surprisingly powerful…not just that, you’re skilled and experienced. The way you fought isn’t something you can just showcase if you worked at a blacksmith. If anything, it feels like you have years of fighting experience behind your back…but the fact that you’re younger than I am is a curiosity I can never figure out. So I’m curious who you really are.”

“…”

“And I also heard that you took down a lesser ashened-dragon by your village. Taking down dragons would take an entire group of adventurers, but for you to handle it by yourself, I doubt that you’re just some random blacksmith, aren’t you?”

“Think what you will…” I said a I couldn’t bother to think up of an excuse.

“I will. So with my evaluation made, I want to know…are you seeking fame and glory?”

“…No, and I can already tell where you’re leading this conversation into. No, I will not join your guild.”

“And why do you think I’m thinking of recruiting you?”

“…” I looked to her with a sarcastic gaze and simply turned back to drink the entire mead on my hand in one gulp.

“Fine, yes, I was thinking of recruiting you.”

“…No.”

“Look, don’t you think it’s easier to make a living if you hunted monsters for a living instead of being a blacksmith?”

“…Are you insulting my profession?”

“N-no, it’s nothing like that at all…I just want you to take a look at a better way of living. Adventurers have always been one of the most lucrative professions in this day and age…and since you’re having your brother attend the academy, I thought that maybe you needed assurance on where you can gain the needed support.”

“Thanks for worrying, but sadly I have no intentions in joining the guild.”

“…I thought as much. You didn’t seem like the kind of man who would put himself into a group…if anything, your distant personality makes you out to be the lone type.”

“…” having to hear her say that, I was a bit taken aback by the fact that she read me so easily just as she did in my past life.

I preferred working alone as a mercenary…and she, as the person who would always recognize and recommend my kind of abilities, my kind of nature as a warrior…she always knew me best.

“…” I sat in my place, thinking back to the times when I had to survive on my own…I had to work while my blood runs down from the wounds I gained…the scars would increase day by day…

But I got stronger…

Yet in place of my strength, I became just as distant.

I hoped that in this second chance, in this second life, some things would change, and it did…but at the same time, some things remained the same. And I’m happy for it.

I’m happy she cares…

Looking at her face right now, she still made the same expression that I knew was not false to anything. She’s honest…too honest for her own good.

That is why I can always talk to her without worrying so much.

“…How is my brother?” I asked.

“He’s fine. He just used a lot of his mana, so right now he is still unconscious.” she said.

“When do you think he’ll wake up?” I asked.

“Well…Ron said that by around midnight, he should wake up. It’ll be faster though if he drank an elixir.” she said.

“…I see. But the academy is still a few days away, I don’t think we need to hurry.”

“Are you using that time to gather your thoughts?” she asked plainly.

“…”

”…!? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” she said.

“Once you lose your parents, it becomes harder to care for your siblings. You just can’t make decisions as easy as you used to. Things become ten times more difficult…especially for the case of choosing your brother’s path in life.”

“…So you lost your parents?”

“The plague that went over our village, I was too weak then to do anything about it.” I said.

At that moment, I started chattering about my life…about how things got to this end…

I just wanted to rant so that I could expel the stress in my chest. This is what I do every time I got drunk. I talked with friends and we all expel our worries through the booze we drink. We expose ourselves to the people we trust.

We tell our stories…

We express our emotions through talks…

And right now, Stella only looked and listened to me as I explained everything that I was allowed to expose about myself.

And hours later…I found myself sleeping on the bed with a familiar ceiling above me.

‘Ugh…my head hurts, I must have passed out.’ I thought as my head was beating like a drum.

Looking at the ceiling, I was sure of where I was at that moment.

‘…this place…it takes me back.’

As I got up, I found four other beds distant from my own bed, and beside me, I found my brother still unconscious.

“The Clinic…so much nostalgia.”

I would find myself back here. Sometimes after training too hard or even after finishing most of my missions. This clinic was like a personal room for me to find myself in everytime.

‘She must have brought me here after I passed out from drinking too much…hmm, still as kind as ever.’

Having found myself in the clinic, I noticed that my brother was beside me, still unconscious. And when I turned to the window, it was there that the moon was now out and about.

It was probably around midnight now…and knowing that, Theodore would probably wake up any minute.

So then…what should I do if he does wake up?

‘Ah right, Ron Wessel has yet to make an evaluation of my brother’s abilities…but knowing that he awakened my brother’s core meant only one thing. My brother probably has a chance in attending the academy.’

But I had to be certain…my own assumptions aren’t enough. I needed to get the answer from the mage himself.

So without wasting anytime, I got up…but right before I could walk, all of a sudden, the door opened and revealed the sight of the old man walking in with a calm expression on his face.

“…It seems that you’ve finally awaken.” said the old man.

“Hmm, why are you’re here?” I asked.

“…I simply came by to check on the boy.”

“…”

“And besides, our agreement has yet to be fulfilled. I have yet to grant him my third and final advice. Along with that, I have also yet to give my thoughts on his chances in succeeding the  academy exams.”

“If that’s the case…then tell me, how will he fair in the exams?”

“That’s a hard question to answer, but mostly this depends on the boy’s will to respond to the academy’s expectations.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Although he has the talent and genius to attend the academy, the academy doesn’t just take in smart accomplished people. They look into the very essence of a person’s character and if whether or not they are ready to take on the life of a mage at its essence.”

He continued on.

“Just because he awakened his first stage of the mana core doesn’t change the fact that he’s still a newborn mage. You said it yourself…he only awakened his talents two months ago. Well, I will tell you now, it takes time for a person to realize what he can or what he can’t do even if he does have the talent for magic.”

“…I don’t understand?”

“Do you think it’s easy to become an educated mage? Do you think its all about learning spells and what not? No, being a mage is more serious than any other school there is. To become a mage, one has to abandon everything they have ever cared for and make themselves anew. Make themselves worship nothing but magic…to its very essence.”

“Is that why only so few people are able to attend the academy? Is it that hard?”

“Yes…the people who are accepted into the academy are already guaranteed success in life. But as they go through the years of learning, they will understand that success for a mage is only defined through not how many spells they learned, but how they grow in a different manner.”

“…”

“It means that to become a true mage, you are to understand magic as a whole…not it’s spells, but the very essence of magic. Only then, will the academy acknowledge you to be a true mage.”

“The essence of magic…this is more difficult that I could have expected to understand.” I said.

“No normal man or warrior can ever understand the struggles of being a mage. For us, our life is lived through education…we spend our lives working our ways and minds to understand magic as a whole in our own way. It is how we evolve as mages, it is how we grow our mana cores. As our minds grow, we walk closer to the definition of mage and magic.”

“If that’s the case, then…what of Thedore?”

“…that is for the academy to decide. Although I may acknowledge his talents, it’s a different matter for the academy entirely.”

“…I see. So even for a 7^th stage mage, you don’t have the confidence to evaluate his chances?”

“No.”

“…Hmm. Then I guess, from the very beginning, nothing’s changed and it all stands on Theodore’s character.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“…sigh…I guess that’s that then.”

“Yes, but do not be so disapointed. Looking at your brother, I can see that he has…character.”

“…”

“Tell your brother this…once he awakes, tell him to stand in front of the teachers of the academy and simply make him express his love for magic. In any sort of test given, have him do his best for the love of magic.

“Express his love?”

“Mages are to fall in love with magic…that is all what defines a mage.”

To fall in love with magic…

It seemed so overwhelming, yet at the same time, it had meaning. It was simple, but so easy to gain understand. Because to fall in love, I barely had any experience in that area.

After the old man spoke his evaluation and he turned his back and walked out of the clinic, leaving me alone with my brother once again.

Yet as he left, I turned my way to my brother and spoke.

“…So, what do you think?” I asked.

“…” and my brother, he opened his eyes and…he sighed.