The Reason Why I was Cheated on By My Girlfriend - Chapter 15

Rejection (2)

Haru’s POV

“Of course I can’t let you by my side.”

I understand what happened to Yua.

I feel sympathy for her.

But that’s a completely different issue.

Yua’s story has no connection to what I saw that day.

“Just get out of here. This conversation is over.”

“I’m good at sex. I’ll make you feel really good.”

“No. You probably have syphilis or something.”

“I’ll get tested! I won’t be with anyone else ever again!”

“That’s not the issue.”

“…no, I want to be by your side. I don’t want to break up with you. You promised, Haru-kun. You said you’d be with me forever…you promised me!”

Yua raises her voice.

“Why weren’t you there with me, Haru-kun!? If Haru-kun had been there, I wouldn’t have been assaulted! If Haru-kun had been there with me, I wouldn’t have turned out like this!”

It sounds like she is getting angry at me.

“Shut up.”

I glare at her and said so.

“You chose to be this way, didn’t you?”

At first, I felt sad.

Then, all I can feel is anger.

“Something is wrong with your body? Then you should go to the hospital.”

“I can’t go. I can’t talk to anyone about this!”

“I don’t understand. I have absolutely no idea why that would lead to prostitution.”

And now, I’ve become even calmer.

My mind is clearer than ever, even I’m surprised myself.

“Are you out of your mind?”

The words are coming out smoothly.

Every time I say something, Yua sheds large tears.

“Don’t just say whatever is convenient for you.”

It’s indeed a painful and tragic story.

But it’s all based on her convenience.

“…why?”

Ah, this is perfect.

I can reject Yua now.

I can finally put these feelings to an end.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about this!?”

…wait.

“Was I so unreliable!? Was I just a pathetic, impotent guy in your eyes!? Answer me!?”

…wait. What am I talking about?

“No, that’s not it. That was different.”

“What’s different?”

“I don’t want to talk about Haru-kun when having sex! I don’t want the memories of Haru-kun to be tainted!”

“So that’s just for your convenience, isn’t it!?”

…calm down.

This is the moment to talk with Yua, this is the moment to cut her off my life completely.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why, why…”

…this isn’t the time for crying. Damn it.

I wipe away the tears running down my cheeks.

In front of Yua, I feel truly pathetic and disgusted with myself.

But because of that, I realized something.

The saddest thing for me is that Yua never said anything to me about it.

Even that day, I thought there must be some reason behind it.

If she had talked to me about it, even if it was just a single word, we wouldn’t have ended up shouting at each other like this.

“Just get out of my room. I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

“…no.”

“Get out of here.”

“No!”

Yua screams and jumps at me.

“Don’t touch me.”

I grab her wrist and shake her off.

“I’ll give you everything, everything!”

Yua grabs my shoulder.

Of course, I resist, but I can’t shake her off.

“I’ll become the girl you want! I’ll do whatever you say, Haru-kun!”

“Anyone can say anything with just words.”

“Then I’ll tell you everything! I’ll tell you everything I do!”

“I don’t want to know.”

“I have money too. A lot, a lot of money!”

“I don’t want that the most. Money you earned that way…”

“I have over three million yen! I’m amazing, am I not?”

“……”

Hearing such a big amount of money, I can’t help but to hold my breath.

Three million yen…just how many people have you been with?

“I know. I’m filthy, right? I’m disgusting. I also thought about killing myself many times back then. But you know? When my body feels hot and I feel dizzy, someone offered me fifty thousand yen, and…”

“I’m not interested in hearing that kind of story.”

“Because what other way is there!? After being so messed up and tainted…money is all that’s left. The only way to think that I have value is by collecting money! The more money I collect, the more I can think of myself as valuable!”

“I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear about it at all!”

We grab each other’s shoulders and arms, looking directly into each other’s eyes.

If it were any other situation, it would be a thrilling moment.

“…Haru-kun. Please, let me stay by your side.”

If it were any other situation, I would’ve been really happy to hear those words.

“……”

But now, all I can feel is just pain from deep within my heart.

I just want this to end—crying, shouting, everything.

“…hey.”

“What?”

…ah, I truly am the worst.

Stop it. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t say that.

“Can you say the same thing to Kaguya?”

…in the end, I gave up thinking about it.

I clung to Kaguya, who has reached out and comforted me back then, and yet, I got her involved in all this.

“Yeah, I can say it.”

As expected, Yua nods.

“…I see.”

I truly am the lowest piece of trash.

If I could, I would beat myself to death.

I hate myself. I’m disgusted with myself.

More than Yua, more than anything else, I hate myself the most.

Ah, I see. That’s why Yua didn’t come to me for advice.

Yeah. There is no way she could talk about that kind of thing to such a pathetic person.

…so, what should I do now?

Are we going to end it here with just excuses and whining?

No, that can’t be it.

That absolutely cannot be the case.

“Go home for today.”

“……”

I look up.

I meet Yua’s eyes and say it again clearly.

“Go home for today. We’ll continue tomorrow.”

The moment I said the word ‘continue’, Yua shows a smile.

“…okay.”

She put her clothes on again and leaves the room.

I lay back on the bed and close my eyes.

In the darkness, I keep thinking.

What should I do now?