Vol 2 Chapter 31 – Kajiwara and Toudou

Kajiwara-kun is solid.

I don’t mean his resolve.

I mean his build.

Like a pro wrestler—not that male pro wrestling exists in this world, but still—he has a thick chest.

Veins bulge on his arms, and his fingers are thick enough to crush an apple.

He’s built up his exterior to look like that, but on the inside, he’s an otaku, a nerd.

He’s an incredibly shy and reserved boy.

And I, Toudou Hatsune, knew this.

I walk beside him.

He seems so heavy with muscle, he might as well be making a sound as he lumbers along.

I stole a quick glance at his face.

He’s about half a head taller than me, and I’m a slender 170cm.

—Me.

I, Toudou Hatsune, am walking down the hallway with a boy.

I never once expected to have this kind of school life.

I’ve had fantasies, of course.

Fantasies about characters from school-life manga or light novels.

Or school-life parodies in doujinshi—you know, the common ones where you’re living a school life with famous characters.

But I haven’t even had those dreams lately.

There’s a clear difference between reality and dreams.

Of course, fantasies are fun.

But reality is even more fun.

Kajiwara-kun is the one who taught me that.

“Is something wrong, Toudou-san?”

“Hmm.”

I put both hands behind my back.

Wringing them a little, feeling slightly guilty for staring at his face, I brought up a completely different topic.

“Kajiwara-kun, you said you’re not used to handling girls, right?”

“Yes, that’s what I said earlier.”

“So what did you do in elementary and middle school? If I were in the same class as you—well, I have my otaku insecurities, so I probably wouldn’t have talked to you. But weren’t you ever persistently asked out by a girl with a slightly higher class caste?”

The question occurred to me suddenly.

I mean, a decent boy like Kajiwara-kun.

I’ve occasionally seen boys who get full of themselves, who misunderstand their own status and rarity as a one-in-twenty commodity in a society where women are the majority.

But I have never seen a boy like Kajiwara-kun—one who would bow his head so politely and apologize when turning a girl down.

Well, for Kajiwara-kun, the reason is that he’s an otaku.

And his actions are probably a result of his low self-esteem.

“I didn’t really have much contact with them in the first place.”

“Really?”

“In elementary and middle school, I think the embarrassment of talking to the opposite sex usually wins out, don’t you think?”

I see.

Kids in elementary and middle school are at an age where they start becoming aware of romance, but I guess there aren’t many girls who are bold enough to hit on boys yet.

After all—they’d get teased.

We’re in the current Reiwa era, and many years have passed since society decided that bullying was uncool.

But the idea that it’s embarrassing for a girl to be proactive in talking to a boy from a young age still hasn’t disappeared.

“Well, even if a girl had talked to me, I don’t know the proper manners for declining,” he said.

“You only know how to bow your head?”

“It would have been nice if my father had taught me that sort of etiquette and those manners, but—”

Kajiwara-kun isn’t like many of us, a child born through artificial insemination.

He was a rare child born as a result of love, but I heard his father unfortunately passed away in an accident at a young age.

This was my fault.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not something you need to apologize for—he was already gone by the time I was old enough to remember.”

It’s not something that bothers me.

Kajiwara-kun said with a smile.

He probably really doesn’t mind.

“That aside, my mother never taught me about manners, either.”

“If I remember right, your mother is a believer in free love, isn’t she?”

I’ve never met or spoken to her.

But the president of our club has.

Chihiro.

I hear his mother has taken quite a liking to her.

So much so that—though Kajiwara-kun probably doesn’t know—she’s approved of them dating.

It’s enough to make you cry tears of blood with envy.

I want that to be me.

I want that, but—

“Well, I think she sounds like a wonderful mother.”

For now, I’ll just sing his mother’s praises.

He who would shoot the general must first shoot his horse.

In this female-dominated society, arranged marriages are the norm—it’s all about thinking how you can marry into a wealthy family and have their support to fund your own retirement.

If a boy is born, you of course wish for your son’s happiness, but you can’t help but think about worldly benefits.

In a world like that, for a mother to approve of a love match with whichever girl her son brings home, she has to be a wonderful person.

I want her to like me; if she hates me, it’s all over.

“Thank you.”

Kajiwara-kun must be aware that his mother gives him a lot of freedom.

He answered with a warm smile.

Ah, this is nice.

Damn it, what is this warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest?

I always thought I was a lecher.

Obsessed with sexual desire and romance, inclined toward immoral acts—and only those things.

Never in my life had I ever thought so seriously about wanting someone to fall in love with me.

And yet, I’m thinking about it now.

I want Kajiwara-kun to like me as a girl.

There’s a little bit of lust mixed in, but I want to talk with him without that.

It’s a neighborly love, a desire to love your neighbor “as you love yourself” and form a close bond.

Just like with the others in the Modern Culture Research Club.

It’s becoming unbearable; I want to love, and I want to be loved in the same way.

“Toudou-san?”

Kajiwara-kun’s voice was full of concern as he spoke to me, who had fallen silent with a heart full of emotion.

How should I respond to his kindness?

Just as Kajiwara-kun doesn’t know the proper manners for dealing with women, I don’t know the proper manners for dealing with men.

But.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about a lot of things.”

For now, sincerity will do.

Just as Kajiwara-kun showed that top-caste gyaru a moment ago, as long as your sincerity gets through, it should be fine.

I gave a small apology and honestly told him I had been lost in thought.

“Anyway, I was just thinking about what we’re going to do starting today.”

I’ll suggest something wonderful.

Let’s do all sorts of things.

I’ll suggest lots of fun ideas.

Let’s try things we can both agree on and enjoy.

“Okay.”

Kajiwara-kun nodded.

I smiled back at him and said this.

“For now, shall we head to the clubroom? Knowing Chihiro, she’s probably ready to wave a flag and announce what we’ll be doing from now on.”

“If it’s Club President Takahashi, I’m sure you’re right.”

My best friend was the one who brought him to this clubroom.

I’m sure she’ll come up with ideas even more fun than I could.

We were all outcasts.

Otaku and nerds, a hopeless cause.

We were the kind of young people who tended to reach for something unattainable, like that perfect springtime of youth.

No.

Maybe it’s something we can actually reach.

Maybe it’s close by.

As I allowed myself to feel that hope because of Kajiwara-kun, I opened the clubroom door with a smile.