Vol 1 Chapter 30 – Let’s Hold Hands【End Vol 1】

“Well, we lost, we lost.”

“We really did lose, didn’t we?”

We talked about our match results cheerfully.

We both had more losses than wins.

It seems Club President Takahashi managed to snatch one win out of the three rounds, but I lost every single one of my matches.

It’s just hard to win on deck power when you’re up against the financial strength of working adults.

Of course, there’s also the fact that I’m not used to playing in person or in the Standard environment—maybe I’d have a better chance in a Sealed or Draft match?

Maybe I’ll try one of those next time.

With Club President Takahashi, of course.

Still, though.

“That adult player really teased us a lot, didn’t she?”

I said.

Is it normal to get teased when a man and a woman show up together at a place that’s mostly full of women?

I don’t really get it.

Then again, I’ve never gone out with a girl before, in my previous life or my current one.

I really have lived a truly empty existence.

Club President Takahashi is the first person I’ve ever walked with whom I recognize as the opposite sex.

“Yeah, she did. You didn’t mind that it was me, did you, Kajiwara-kun?”

Club President Takahashi asked, looking a little embarrassed.

Mind?

There’s no way I would.

In fact, for someone like me—no.

I need to stop being so self-deprecating.

In this world, in this life, men are a precious commodity.

Even when I try to feign sleep at school to get out of things, tons of my classmates come to talk to me.

When I cosplayed at the convention, I got fawned over quite a bit.

I know.

I get it.

It’s just that I can’t, for the life of me, imagine myself dating a girl.

“—I don’t mind at all.”

I just stated my honest feelings.

I’m struggling.

Am I—in love with Club President Takahashi?

I respect her as a senpai.

I like her as a person.

I have no doubt about those two things.

Do I love her as a member of the opposite sex?

When I’m asked that question, I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never been in love with anyone before.

All I’ve ever wanted was a life dedicated to my hobbies.

But…

“Oh? Well, as long as you’re not forcing yourself.”

Club President Takahashi laughed cheerfully.

Whenever I see that smile, a part of my heart feels warm.

What is this feeling?

It’s close to, yet far from, respect and affection.

It’s probably different from reverence, too.

It’s a feeling I can’t identify.

I wonder what people call this emotion.

—There is a way to find out.

“Club President Takahashi.”

I called her name.

“What is it?”

She replied with a gentle smile.

Here goes.

“Will you hold hands with me?”

So embarrassing.

I’m not a grade-schooler, I thought.

Despite feeling incredibly timid, I stated my desire.

I want to hold hands with the Club President.

“…S-Sure. Of course, that’s fine!”

The Club President answered, though with a slight hesitation.

I wonder what made her hesitate.

I hope she wasn’t put off by it.

Thinking that, I slowly took her hand.

I could feel the warmth of Club President Takahashi’s hand.

Now, what’s the next step?

“Shall we wander around Center Plaza for a bit?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

I decided to try and figure out the true nature of my own heart.

This seemed like the easiest way to do it.

The simple act of walking while holding hands.

I wonder what people call this.

“Is there anything you want?”

We hadn’t come here to buy anything.

We weren’t even here to go window shopping.

The plan was just to come to the card game tournament, lose spectacularly, and then go home.

But just doing that felt like a waste.

If there’s something she wants, I wouldn’t mind buying it for her as a present.

That’s how grateful I am to her.

“Not a thing. Shall we just stroll through the plaza?”

“Sounds good.”

We held hands.

I could feel the people passing by staring at us.

They were lukewarm glances.

There was a hint of goodwill mixed in, too.

The kind of gaze that held a misunderstanding.

That we were a brand-new couple on a date.

Ah.

“…”

I wish that were true.

I had convinced myself.

I have romantic feelings for Club President Takahashi.

But even so—what would I accomplish by confessing?

Suddenly, I was troubled.

What do I want my relationship with Club President Takahashi to be?

Do I want to be in a romantic relationship?

The desire is there.

But I felt like it didn’t have to be right away.

I have a sex drive, of course.

But more than that, I feel that Club President Takahashi is a precious being.

Her small hand.

So small you could almost call it a little paw. That’s what I thought as I held her tiny palm.

I don’t want this hand to be defiled by anyone, nor do I want to defile it myself.

The moment I thought that, I felt disgusted with myself.

What am I, the Club President’s stalker?

“What’s wrong, Kajiwara-kun? Are you feeling sick?”

I pressed my left hand—not the right one holding the President’s—to my temple.

I felt a headache coming on.

“No, just a little self-loathing. Anyway, are you sure there’s nothing you want, Club President Takahashi? If it’s not too expensive, I’ll buy it for you. My mom even told me I should get you something to thank you for everything.”

I used my mother as an excuse.

It’s a little pathetic, but I’ll use whatever I can.

Besides, what I said was true.

I want to show my gratitude to Club President Takahashi in some tangible form.

“I don’t need anything.”

But she flatly refused.

It was a little awkward.

I thought that maybe she had seen through my ulterior motive of wanting her to like me, even just a little.

To think I tried to use a gift instead of words—I’m ashamed of my own lack of sense.

“Hey, Kajiwara-kun. I don’t need anything, but—”

“What is it, Club President? You can ask me for anything.”

Her palm squeezed mine tightly.

Her grip was weak.

A tiny palm that I could probably crush if I tried is resting in my hand.

I’m starting to understand Club President Takahashi’s thing for hands.

“If you don’t mind, Kajiwara-kun—could we… go out like this sometimes?”

Her voice was slightly anxious.

Suddenly, I remembered the first time Club President Takahashi spoke to me.

She had asked, ‘Are you interested in card games?’

Ah, her voice trembled just like it did back then.

Club President Takahashi is a sunshine otaku.

She’s not afraid of anything.

But I believe she had to work up all her courage to speak to me that day.

And that’s precisely why I responded to her so earnestly.

I realized it now, with absolute clarity.

I’m in love with Club President Takahashi.

“…”

What should I say?

I’m hesitating.

I’m wondering if I should confess.

But it’s too soon.

It feels way too soon.

I haven’t even gotten to know Club President Takahashi that well yet.

To confess so indiscriminately, like some rabbit that’s in heat all year round…

It felt too soon.

So, this is my answer.

“I’d love to. If it’s with you, Club President Takahashi, I wouldn’t mind doing this every week.”

“I’m so glad.”

I watched Club President Takahashi smile like a rosebud blooming into a flower.

I’ll take it slow and steady.

And someday, I’ll make her turn my way.

Thinking that, I held her hand and we walked through the plaza for about an hour.

Together with the person I had secretly fallen in love with.