The Most Beautiful Girl in School Has Become a Mother - Chapter 35: Not a Sacrifice, but a Memory

“I’ve been deliberately avoiding making friends.”

On the way to the nursery—when I stopped at the traffic light, for some reason, I started talking about that on my own.

“Why?”

Miori shifted her gaze from the signal to me beside her. She looked a bit surprised.

“Maybe it was because Shuri was there.”

I felt her gaze on my cheek and replied like that.

“How does the story about not making friends with Shuri-chan relate to this?”

She tilted her head and asked again.

“If I have friends… I’ll end up having so much fun playing with them. Then, I won’t be able to do things around the house, and I won’t be able to pick up my sister from daycare by six.”

“Ah…”

She must have realized what I was trying to say. Furrowing her brows, she averted her gaze from me.

“I see… it must be tough for you.”

“Yeah. It would definitely be a hassle. I knew that, so I didn’t make any friends… but, I guess it’s better not to talk about this.”

I started talking about it somewhat aimlessly, but I wondered if this would dampen Miori’s enthusiasm for “Mom.” When I looked over at her, she shook her head.

“No, that’s not true. I want to talk more.”

From that expression, I didn’t sense any contempt towards me. Rather, it seemed like she was genuinely trying to understand me.

Seeing her like that, I felt at ease, and then I naturally started talking about myself. The fact that I actually wanted more friends and that my high school life would have been more enjoyable if I had lots of friends.

However, I have Shuri. Considering that I had to take care of her, I knew that this enjoyment would eventually become a hindrance.

If I have friends, I would probably want to hang out more. I would definitely want to talk at a family restaurant until late, go to karaoke, or go to an arcade. Even on weekends, instead of just taking care of my younger sister at home, I would want to go out and have fun.

And if I have friends, they will probably invite me to such outings. Every time I’m invited, I’m sure my heart will leap with joy.

However, I still have to decline that invitation. Because I have a five-year-old sister I need to take care of. Even though I want to play.

“Actually, something similar happened when I was in middle school.”

The traffic light turned green, so the two of us started walking.

While walking, I laughed as if I had given up on something and began to talk about the past.

When she was in middle school, our grandparents took care of Shuri, but in the end, Shuri didn’t get very close to them.

In such circumstances, even if I wanted to go out and have fun, it was impossible. Coupled with the sense of duty to return as soon as possible, I kept turning down my friends’ invitations to hang out. And as I continued to decline, eventually, I had no friends left who would invite me to hang out.

It was lonely and tougher than I had expected.

However, at the same time, my sister is also important, and when I weigh myself against her, I end up choosing her. It seemed that this was strongly related to my mother’s last words, “Take care of Shuri.”

However, even though I was supposed to be making those choices myself, the feeling that I was losing out inside me unintentionally grew stronger and stronger. I was scared that if those feelings intensified any further, I might end up resenting my younger sister, whom I was supposed to cherish and protect.

“That’s why, I guess… I stopped trying to make friends.”

“Isaki-kun…”

Miori furrowed her brows tightly and looked at me with a pained expression.

There might be people who can balance things better if they try. However, if it means coming to resent my sister as a result, then it’s better not to have friends at all from the start──that’s the conclusion I came to.

I wanted to believe that being alone was more comfortable. Someone who can talk to anyone in class but wouldn’t be missed if they weren’t there. I thought that kind of position would be easier for me too.

Last summer vacation, I was the only one in the class who wasn’t invited to the beach by the boys. I have no complaints or dissatisfaction about this. I felt a sense of alienation and loneliness from not being invited, but that’s the result of the way I’ve interacted with people. Besides, even if I had been invited, there was no way I could have gone to the beach.

In that regard, Shinya was the only exception. He maintained a comfortable distance and understood my situation, so we could spend time together without any strain.

In the brief time before I go pick up my sister, we would hang out or chat. However, knowing that I have to pick up my sister, they wouldn’t invite me out on weekends, and after school, they would only hang out with me within the time frame until I had to go pick her up.

I don’t know what his intentions are in maintaining that kind of relationship, but for me, he was an easy friend to get along with.

“…Why did you tell me?”

Just as we were about to reach the daycare, Miori asked me with a troubled expression.

No, of course. Since I brought up such a gloomy topic, it was only natural to make her have a gloomy face.

“Well, I wonder why? Maybe I just wanted to talk.”

Yeah. Surely, I wanted Miori to know about me.

Although I’ve only been seeing her for a few days, in a way, I’ve already shown her my true self at home. It’s not an exaggeration to say that the person who knows me best among those around me right now is Imiya Miori. As proof, she even noticed that I was sleep-deprived and actually tired.

I wanted her to know more about me. I think that’s all there is to it.

“Hey, Isaki-kun…”

Miori turned to face me, staring intently with her large eyes. Those eyes seemed somehow sad and lonely.

She gazed at me and wove her words.

“Why are you trying to endure so much all by yourself, Isaki-kun?”

“Huh?”

At her unexpected question, I was so bewildered that I momentarily stumbled over my words. There was a slight reproach in her tone as well.

“I don’t like the idea of just putting up with it myself.”

“Even if you say you don’t like me… there’s nothing else I can do.”

I don’t like enduring either, and if possible, I don’t want to.

But there was no other way. I had no choice but to sacrifice myself.

“So, until when does Isaki-kun have to endure? Until Shuri-chan enters elementary school? Until she graduates from middle school? Until she graduates from high school? Until she becomes an adult? …How old will Isaki-kun be then?”

At Miori’s relentless words, I held my breath.

It was something I had never even thought about. No, perhaps I had been trying not to think about it. Because if I did, I would surely be unable to bear it.

Even if Shuri graduates from middle school, it will be ten years from now. If it’s high school, it will be thirteen years, and if it’s adulthood, it will be fifteen years. By then, I will… already be over thirty.

The number of years I have lived so far would almost double. It seemed like an unfathomable amount of time.

“Hey… take better care of yourself. Whose life do you think Isaki-kun’s life is for?”

Whose life is it anyway──those were words that struck too close to home. Because they were the very words I wanted to say to my father.

I might have been living a life similar to my father’s without even realizing it.

“Ah… I’m sorry.”

Seeing me at a loss for words, Miori apologized with a pained expression.

“I’ve been saying all these arrogant things without considering your feelings, Isaki-kun. Even if I ask you to forget it, it’s already too late, isn’t it…”

“No… what Miori said is right. Really, that’s exactly it.”

What she said is correct. Until now, I had been turning a blind eye to the problem. I was trying to get by solely through self-sacrifice.

However, as she said, if I continue to sacrifice myself like this, what will be left for me when Shuri becomes an adult? I felt that only the sense of accomplishment of having raised her as a substitute father would remain.

“If things keep going like this, it’s not good, right…”

At my softly muttered words, Miori nodded and said, “Yeah.”

“I think if you keep holding it in, you’ll eventually explode, and if that leads to you truly hating Shuri-chan, it would be a total loss. Shuri-chan, you love Isaki-kun so much… that’s just sad.”

Her words pierced through me, and my gaze naturally fell from the sky to the ground.

I understand what she wants to say. Rather, I understood it painfully well.

I know that it’s not good for just me to keep enduring, that if things continue like this, I will eventually explode, and that if I do explode, I will truly come to hate Shuri. And I also know how much I will come to loathe myself at that time.

However, a solution was not in sight.

“But, you know, there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s no one else who can take care of her, and if I try to take care of her, I have to sacrifice my own time. Right?”

In the end, I am faced with this problem. It’s either sacrificing myself or making Shuri feel bad by leaving her with my grandparents—those are the only two options.

However, Miori slowly shook her head.

“That’s not true.”

“Huh? What else is there──”

“Aren’t I here too?”

Um, when I looked up in surprise, there was Miori’s smile, somehow full of confidence.

A smile full of confidence, yet very soft and filled with compassion. Innocent, yet overflowing with a maternal warmth like that of the Virgin Mary. Just looking at that smile made my heart feel instantly warm.

“Like yesterday, we could play together at home with Shuri-chan, or maybe go to the park for a bit. If it’s like that, I can do it too, and we can spend time together, right? Karaoke or staying out late at the arcade might be difficult, but… I think there are a lot more things we can do together with Shuri-chan.”

“But… if you do that, you’ll end up sacrificing a lot of things, right?”

I feel like I’m already making quite a few sacrifices.

Even though she is a kindergartener, it is quite burdensome for high school students to take care of her. She herself should have realized this over the weekend.

Moreover, if we go out somewhere together, it would take up the whole day. I’d end up having to be considerate of various things around us, and I’d get tired. I couldn’t see how that would be good for her.

However, she shakes her head.

“Don’t sacrifice yourself. Let’s make memories together.”

“Memories…?”

An unexpected word comes up, and I can’t help but parrot it back.

I didn’t really understand the meaning.

“Yeah. Spending time with Isaki-kun and Shuri-chan, playing together… then it will surely become a memory just for us.”

“Our own memories…”

“Yeah. It might be a bit different from the usual high school memories… but don’t you think it will be a really wonderful memory in its own way?”

Miori was looking at me with a very excited smile.

Even seeing that smile, it’s clear that she doesn’t think for a moment about sacrificing herself.

──So this person can think that way, huh?

Unintentionally, my eyelids suddenly felt hot, and I instinctively looked up at the sky.

I thought I could shoulder everything on my own. But for some reason, there was an eccentric person who wanted to accompany me. To make matters worse, she even said it was not a sacrifice but rather making memories. I thought she was being eccentric to the extreme.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime high school experience. Shall we make some memories together?”

There was a smile that made me feel no anxiety at all.

I’m sure we’ll be able to make wonderful memories. I don’t really believe in fortune-telling or the sixth sense, but even I am convinced of that. It’s as if her smile guarantees us fun memories.

Indeed, having Shuri around might mean we can’t make the typical high school memories. There’s no doubt about that, as my past year confirms.

However, thinking of it as a handicap and giving up on everything was the wrong approach.

In the first place, it’s her right in front of me now.

Imiya Miori──This child, it was precisely because of Shuri that we were connected. If Shuri hadn’t intuitively thought of this person as “Mom,” she and I would never have gotten close.

Indeed, there may be memories that couldn’t be made because Shuri was there. But at the same time, couldn’t it be thought of this way?

Because Shuri is here, we can create memories that ordinary high school students can’t.

For example, it might be a grand meal-like relationship where classmates are treated as “dad” and “mom.”

But, it seemed like it was a high school life that only I and Miori could create.

“Um… well then, can I keep asking you for help from now on?”

“Yeah, of course.”

We exchanged slightly embarrassed smiles with each other.

And so we made our way to the daycare where Shuri was waiting.

We don’t know when Shuri’s magic will wear off. Unlike Cinderella’s magic, which has a set deadline, this magic doesn’t have a specific expiration date, but at the same time, we don’t know when it will break either.

Then, until that magic wears off, shouldn’t we fully enjoy this relationship?

So that even when the magic wears off, we can leave behind a glass slipper that keeps us connected.