The Loser Lord Who Kept Getting Sweet Revenge and Somehow Rose to the Top - Chapter 08: Starting Today, I’m a Count! Oh, hey there, Mr. Human Garbage Sliding Down Life’s Hill, what’s up!

Chapter 08: Starting Today, I’m a Count! Oh, hey there, Mr. Human Garbage Sliding Down Life’s Hill, what’s up!

―And so, once again, I found myself summoned to the royal castle by His Majesty the King.

“In the past, I praised you as the very model of a knight. But now, you are no less than a hero of this age, a true prodigy born from the long and noble line of the Tourmaline family. zzzzzFor your deeds, I hereby grant you the crown lands surrounding your domain. From this day forward, combined with your existing territory, it shall form the new Tourmaline Domain. You will henceforth bear the title of Count Tourmaline.”

Cue thunderous applause from the assembled nobles and lords. And just like that—bam, more land, actual promotion in rank. Honestly, when he hinted at this before, I thought it was just talk. Guess not.

On top of that, I also got appointed as a “Purge Knight,” a title only given by direct royal decree. (And no, not the “go purge everything with fire and blood” kind. This one was more like “strictly root out corruption and wrongdoing.”)

Basically, it gave me the authority to warn and arrest anyone involved in shady dealings. And if they refused to stop and kept committing crimes? Then I had the right to purge them in accordance with royal law.

The only catch: along with the title, I had to wear a special ring that recorded all my actions as a Purge Knight and couldn’t be taken off while in service.

…Eh, whatever. Details, details. No point sweating the small stuff.

For the next few days, I was stuck at the castle—forced to attend party after party celebrating my promotion to Count, all hosted by His Majesty himself.

Lords from every family and ministers from every corner took turns introducing themselves, and honestly? Trying to remember all their names was torture. Still, it should be fine—Kiriko was with me, and she probably memorized them all already. Probably.

The one thing that disappointed me was that General August wasn’t there. I really wanted him to see me in all my shiny “Count” glory. Instead, his adjutant showed up in his place and explained that the Empire had been ramping up military activity. There were even rumors that one of the Empire’s Three Great Generals might personally lead an invasion. Because of that, the general had his hands full commanding the main army near the border.

…The adjutant himself hadn’t changed a bit. That flowing, wavy mane of hair, the peculiar straight mustache with curled tips, and that perfectly groomed dandy beard—yep, still the same as ever. And when he laughed, he let out that weird “farufaru” chuckle, which, I admit, was still strangely charming.

While I was enjoying the reunion with old acquaintances, guess who else showed up? Yep—Count Shakara, the guy Talia had been two-timing me with. And right beside him was Talia herself, looking all uncomfortable with her eyes downcast.

Really, what faces do you two even bring here? Then again, skipping out on a party hosted by the King himself would’ve been seen as disrespectful, so I guess they had no choice. Still, I can’t help but wonder—how does it feel watching the man you tried to screw over getting celebrated directly by His Majesty? Can’t even imagine. Hah hah hah!

Count Shakara clung to the corner of the hall, stuffing himself with food and pouring down drinks, but every so often I caught him glaring at me with those bitter, resentful eyes, his teeth grinding. Talia, on the other hand, kept sneaking glances my way with that pitiful “I still have feelings” look. Yeah, no thanks. I ignored her completely. Nothing left to say. Watching them sink into ruin from afar was more than enough entertainment.

And while I was thinking that, one of the nobles suddenly brightened as if he’d just remembered something, and with a smile asked:

“Now that I think of it, Lord Tourmaline—you’re still quite young, and yet unmarried, are you not?”

“That’s right. After my engagement was broken off, no such talks have come up.”

“What! Broken off, you say!? I see, I see… But now that you’re a celebrated hero and a count, surely you must think of heirs for the future. Oh, speaking of which—my daughter is of age, and I’ve been searching for a suitable match…”

When the words “broken engagement” slipped out, I caught Count Shakara and Talia flinching hard out of the corner of my eye. Meanwhile, the nearby nobles—who had clearly been eavesdropping the whole time—saw their chance. A middle-aged lord suddenly stepped forward.

“Now, now, no cutting in line, Count Polmeln. You’re not the only one with an eye on arranging a marriage with Count Tourmaline.”

And just like that, the whole thing snowballed. One after another, nobles started pitching their daughters, insisting I meet them, until the hall turned into a full-blown matchmaking free-for-all. Glancing around for help, I spotted the general’s adjutant chuckling with that weird farufaru laugh of his. Yeah, no rescue coming from that guy—he was clearly enjoying the show.

“Hahaha! Look at Sean, he’s clearly overwhelmed. Enough, everyone. Leave it at that. …In time, a hero will surely find a match befitting of a hero.”

With those words, His Majesty stroked his beard meaningfully and gave me a look. At his side stood a stunning young girl, her eyes burning into me with unrestrained heat. Her features resembled the king’s—could she be a princess?

At the king’s remark, the nobles who had been hounding me with marriage offers seemed to realize something. They quickly backed down, offering polite apologies as they withdrew.

“You don’t need to be so tense. …I’ve heard plenty about you from the Grand General himself. He spoke very highly of you—said you were a promising young man with a bright future ahead. And just as he predicted, you’ve grown into a splendid knight. I too look forward to seeing what you achieve from here on.”

With a cheerful ho-ho-ho, His Majesty walked off, the (probably) princess following behind him. Even as they left, she kept staring straight at me. When I returned a knightly bow, her face turned bright red and she hurried after the king.

She looked maybe mid-teens? Cute now, but she’d probably grow into a breathtaking beauty as an adult. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of guy would end up marrying a girl like that… though yeah, it’s definitely not gonna have anything to do with me.

…Still, so General August had been recommending me to His Majesty behind the scenes, huh. I really owe that man more than I can ever repay.

Also, I feel like my favorability rating with the king just keeps rising without me even doing anything.