The Kansai Villain’s Rebirth: I Accidentally Ended Up With a Harem.

The protagonist Ponders.

Imamiya Toshiya’s POV.

…I really want to eat at the cafeteria. I mean, I want to gorge myself on that hearty cafeteria food. Mio’s bentos are undeniably delicious; they’re the kind of good you could eat every single day. But still… every once in a while, a guy just craves curry, or katsudon, or something like that. Mio’s cooking is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but… it does start to feel a little samey. Not that I could ever say that out loud.

My mom’s been pulling night shifts nonstop ever since I started high school, so the question of lunch came up. The cafeteria made the most sense, of course, but that costs money. That’s when Mio piped up with, “Then I’ll make bentos myself. I’ll make one for you too, Toshiya-kun.” And that’s how we ended up here. You really can’t beat having a childhood friend like that.

Mio and I go all the way back to kindergarten. There were plenty of times I protected her from the little punks who tried to bully her. Maybe that’s why she’s always stuck to me like glue. She comes to wake me up every morning, makes me lunch every single day… At this point, it’s no wonder people tease us about “loving-wife bentos” and call us an old married couple. Jeez, being this popular is tough. Though if I’m being honest, I’d rather have someone with Shina’s killer figure, or walk around with the breathtaking beauty that is Rinko serving at my side. Mio’s short, and her body is… well, those ridiculous breasts are definitely a plus, but… Rinko’s almost as tall as me, which is a little annoying. If she wore platform shoes, she’d tower over me, and that’d piss me off. Plus she’s flat as a board. So yeah, probably Shina in the end. Except… she can be loud as hell and kind of an airhead.

A while back Shina completely blew up at me, and ever since, she ignores me completely. Even my POINE messages stay on “read” with no reply. Dating Shina is looking pretty hopeless… And what’s even more infuriating is how she’s been all over Tennouji lately, practically glued to the guy. Thanks to that, Takii’s been rubbing it in with crap like, “Looks like Tennouji stole your girl, Natsume!” That bastard! Tennouji’s definitely up to something! There’s no way Shina would cling to a guy like that otherwise! It pisses me off to no end. Feeding her all kinds of garbage about me…!

Which makes me wonder… is Mio in danger too? No, no, she’s practically welded to my side; she’ll be fine. Losing Mio would be a massive pain in the ass… not that it’d ever happen. Mio’s great; her food is amazing, she takes care of everything for me. If I’m being totally honest… I think I really do like her. Sure, I complain a lot, but I put up with plenty from her too, so she can stand a little griping from me. And if we started dating? Those breasts, man. “Mio-ppai,” right? Getting to enjoy those monsters every day… it’d be heaven. Plus she’d probably dote on me constantly. Having those huge, soft things wrapped around me…! Damn it… I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

…Whew. What should I do? Maybe I should just confess soon. There’s no way she’d turn me down; we’ve got history no one else can touch. I need to make it crystal clear to every irrelevant nobody around us that she’s off-limits. Alright! Time to graduate from this “childhood friends, more than friends but not quite lovers” nonsense! And hey, maybe I’ll finally lose my virginity too!? Hell yeah! This is gonna be awesome!

***

Ding-dong.

…Shut up… I’m so freaking tired… let me sleep more…

Ding-dong.

I said shut up… who is it… Mio…? Just five more minutes… wait. Mio…? Oh crap, it’s a school day…! What time is it!? I force my eyes open and check the clock. Huh!? Wait, what!? No way!! I’m gonna be late!!! I leap out of bed and throw on my uniform in a panic. No time for breakfast! Not that I ever eat it anyway!

“Damn it!! Mio, we’re gonna be late! Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!? We’re cutting it close again!”

“B-but Toshiya-kun wouldn’t get up…!”

“Hurry up, Mio! We’re seriously gonna be late!”

“W-wait for me~!”

We sprint down the road to school. Man, Mio is painfully slow at times like this… I keep yelling at her to hurry, but her athletic ability is basically zero, so she can’t run fast at all. I end up leaving her way behind!

Somehow we both make it just before the bell. I left Mio in the dust, but we’re safe. Phew. My phone buzzes; a message from Doi.

Doi-god: Yo Toshiya~ Wanna have an extra-large katsu curry eating contest today? Loser pays!

The Strongest! Toshiya desu⭐︎: For real!? Hell yeah, free food incoming~~~~~~!!!

Takky⭐︎: Already acting like you won lmao

The Strongest! Toshiya desu⭐︎: Obviously the supreme god that is me is gonna win.

Hell yeah! That extra-large katsu curry is insanely good! And I might get it for free!? Of course I’m in! Don’t underestimate my bottomless stomach! Jackpot!

“Here, your bento.”

“…Hm? Oh, thanks.”

Crap, there’s no way I can eat a bento and then down an extra-large curry. I should’ve turned her down yesterday… but if Doi and the guys hadn’t invited me, I wouldn’t have money for lunch anyway. Free food is free food.

“Toshiya-kun, did you… not need the bento today?”

“Nah, I’ll eat it, I’ll eat it. Thanks.”

I take it so Tennouji doesn’t end up eating it instead; just thinking about that pisses me off. Ughhh, what now…! Eat it after school? No way, after that mountain of curry I won’t even be able to eat dinner… There’s no saving Mio’s bento. A devilish idea flashes through my mind. If I eat just enough that no one notices and toss the rest… genius. Pure genius. And that’s exactly what I do.

The moment fourth period ends, I grab the bento and bolt to the drafting room. No classes use it this time of year, and the only person who ever comes by is the janitor to check the trash. No students. Perfect. If I dump the contents here… I can enjoy my curry guilt-free.

“Sorry about this.”

I whisper it as I empty the entire bento into the bin. I’ll return the empty box later; no one will know. Now I can eat that glorious extra-large katsu curry without worry. Oh, the box… I’ll leave it here and grab it later so the guys don’t get suspicious. Humming happily, I head to the cafeteria.

***

“No way! Do you have a black hole for a stomach!?”

“Urgh… no more… I can’t…”

“Heh… heh heh… my… victory…!”

I ate. I ate like a man possessed. And I finished first. It was brutal. There’s no way I’m playing basketball after this… But I conquered the infamous extra-large katsu curry, the cafeteria’s legendary punishment dish! Free food get! I probably won’t even want dinner, but damn, it was worth it! This is what I needed! That perfect junk-food taste! You can’t live on just homemade bentos forever!

“Heh heh… sorry guys, looks like you’re treating me~”

“Damn it… Next time I’ll starve myself all day and crush you.”

“Anytime, bring it!”

Victory is mine. If I’d eaten that bento too, I’d be dead right now.

***

After school, I return the empty box to Mio.

“Thanks, it was great.”

“…Okay.”

For some reason her eyes look kind of scary… Nah, just my imagination. She couldn’t have found out… right? I start getting a little nervous, but it’ll be fine.

“What was your favorite part today?”

Huh…? She never asks that… Crap, I didn’t even look at what was inside… Brain, full speed ahead! I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind; my usual favorite she always makes.

“Uh… the fried chicken, I guess!”

“…I see. That’s… nice.”

She smiles. Yes! Dodged a bullet! Relief washes over me.

“Cool! Looking forward to tomorrow’s!”

I bolt toward the clubroom like I’m escaping. At that moment, I had no idea I’d just given the worst possible answer. I wouldn’t realize how catastrophically bad until the following week. Right then, I was too busy groaning over the curry still sitting like lead in my stomach.

***

That night, a message from Mio.

miomio: Starting tomorrow I won’t be making bentos anymore, so please eat at the cafeteria.I also won’t be able to come wake you up, so please get yourself up.

…Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Is she sick or something?

The Strongest! Toshiya desu⭐︎: Huh? What’s up? I’m counting on tomorrow’s bento.

miomio: Something came up and I can no longer make them. Please use the cafeteria.I won’t be coming to wake you either, so set your own alarm.

Hmm… did something happen with her family? She won’t even come wake me up anymore…? Come on, it’s you and me; don’t be like that.

The Strongest! Toshiya desu⭐︎: Don’t say that~ Come wake me up~

Heyyy Mio~, please! Mio~! Hey, Mio~!

No response. Not even a read receipt. Nothing came, and she never showed up again.