Chapter 7: The Impossible Tutorial Level

Today, I walked to school like a king returning to his conquered territory.

Not the usual shuffle of dread and anxiety. Not the mental gymnastics of planning escape routes before homeroom even started. This morning was different. I had power sitting in my pocket, wrapped in pink spirals and binary code. The app pulsed against my thigh through my blazer like a heartbeat. Like destiny.

This was my New Game Plus run. My legendary item drop. My protagonist moment.

The sky looked bluer somehow. The air tasted sweeter. Random NPCs passing by seemed less important, background characters in my personal anime arc. I’d downloaded a cheat code for reality itself, and nobody knew except me.

Well, me and the universe, which clearly owed me this after three consecutive days of humiliation.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Probably Kenji asking about homework or something equally irrelevant to my ascension. I ignored it. Kings didn’t answer to peasants. Protagonists didn’t get distracted by side quests on the morning of their big battle.

The school gates appeared ahead, iron bars and concrete looking like the entrance to a final dungeon.

Two figures stood near the entrance, backlit by morning sun like final bosses waiting at a checkpoint.

Seda and Elizabeth.

My heart rate spiked instinctively, muscle memory from three days of flight response. My legs prepared to activate tactical retreat protocols, already calculating alternate routes and defensive positions.

Then I remembered.

The app.

Control.

Power.

My hand touched my phone through my pocket, feeling its weight like a holy artifact. I didn’t need to run anymore. I didn’t need to panic or invent dying goldfish or scream about fire codes. Those days were over, dead and buried.

Today I engaged the targets.

I adjusted my blazer and walked forward with what I imagined looked like confident swagger. Probably looked more like constipated penguin, but perception was nine-tenths of reality. In my head, I was Dante from Devil May Cry, all style and zero fear.

They noticed me approaching. Both turned, surprise flickering across their faces.

Yeah, that’s right. No running today. No desperate excuses. Just pure chad energy and protagonist power.

Seda’s eyebrows rose slightly. Elizabeth’s arms crossed, defensive posture activating. They expected me to bolt, to manufacture some elaborate lie, to maintain my three-day streak of cowardice.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

I stopped directly in front of them, close enough to smell Seda’s perfume but far enough that I could still breathe semi-normally. My hand slipped into my pocket, fingers wrapping around my phone.

This was it. The moment of truth. The turning point where everything changed.

I pulled out my phone with what I hoped looked like casual confidence. My hands only shook a little. Barely noticeable. Totally imperceptible to outside observers who weren’t specifically looking for signs of crippling anxiety.

The app icon glowed on my home screen, that pink spiral pulsing hypnotically.

I tapped it.

The screen went completely black for a heartbeat. Then pink light exploded across the display, swirling patterns that hurt to look at directly. Text materialized in the center, sharp and clear.

《CONTROL – BETA VERSION》

《TARGETS DETECTED: 2》

《INITIALIZING CONNECTION…》

My thumb hovered over the screen. This was really happening. Actually happening. No turning back now, no room for second thoughts or rational decision-making.

I pressed “Connect.”

The spiral spun faster, mesmerizing, pulling my attention into its center. Loading bar appeared, filling rapidly from zero to one hundred. My heart hammered against my ribcage, trying to break free and run away without me.

《CONNECTION ESTABLISHED》

《TUTORIAL MODE ACTIVATED》

Tutorial. Perfect. Exactly what I needed. Start small, learn the controls, build confidence gradually like any good game. Maybe make them carry my bag or something trivial. Just enough to prove the app worked without jumping straight into deep water.

I could handle a tutorial. Tutorials were designed for beginners.

The screen flickered. New text appeared.

《TUTORIAL OBJECTIVE: ESTABLISH PHYSICAL CONTACT》

Okay, weird phrasing but still manageable. Shake hands maybe. High five. Fist bump. Simple stuff that normies did every day without spontaneous combustion.

More text materialized below the first line.

《COMMAND: GIVE SEDA A SMALL KISS》

My brain shut down. Complete system failure. Blue screen of death. Factory reset required.

That wasn’t tutorial difficulty. That was skipping straight to the final boss without leveling up. That was hard mode on a first playthrough. That was absolutely, completely, totally not what I signed up for.

I stared at the screen, willing it to change, to update, to reveal this was some kind of mistake or typo. Maybe it meant blow a kiss from distance. Maybe it meant kiss like in French greeting culture, the cheek peck thing that meant literally nothing.

The screen pulsed, demanding action.

My eyes flicked up to Seda. She stood there looking confused by my weird staring contest with my phone. Elizabeth leaned over, trying to see what I was looking at.

I angled the screen away protectively. No witnesses to my command interface. No sharing protagonist secrets with the final bosses.

New text appeared at the bottom.

《REFUSAL PENALTY: APPLICATION DELETION》

《TIMER ACTIVE: 60 SECONDS》

A countdown started. 59… 58… 57…

Panic detonated in my chest like a nuclear warhead. They were threatening to delete my power. My cheat code. My only advantage in this rigged game. Without the app, I went back to being regular Alfred, the guy who ran away from dying goldfish and storage room fire codes.

I couldn’t lose this. Not now. Not after finally getting something that leveled the playing field.

My eyes locked onto Seda again. She looked terrifyingly beautiful in high definition, morning sunlight catching her hair perfectly. Those eyes watched me with obvious confusion mixed with something else I couldn’t identify.

The timer hit 45 seconds.

I had to do this. No choice. The app demanded it, therefore it must happen. This was the price of power, the sacrifice required for greatness.

My internal hype engine kicked into overdrive, desperately trying to manufacture courage from pure delusion.

It’s just a kiss. A mere pressing of lips. Europeans do this all the time. It’s basically a handshake in France. I’m European in spirit if you think about it. My great-great-grandmother might’ve been French. That counts. Cultural exchange. International relations. Diplomacy through facial contact.

The rationalization tasted like garbage but I swallowed it anyway.

38 seconds.

I started walking forward. Or trying to. My legs moved like someone had replaced my joints with rusty hinges. Each step required conscious effort, deliberate commands from brain to muscle. Left foot. Right foot. Repeat. Basic human locomotion suddenly felt like advanced calculus.

Seda’s eyes widened as I approached. Probably wondering why I walked like a malfunctioning robot. The Robo-Walk, my brain helpfully labeled it. Maximum stiffness, minimum grace.

Elizabeth stepped back slightly, giving space, confusion written clearly across her features.

30 seconds.

The smell of Seda’s perfume intensified with proximity. Something floral and expensive that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe. My hands started sweating. My blazer felt like a sauna. Gravity increased to ten times normal, pressing down on my shoulders.

I could still back out. Could still run. Could still preserve my undefeated streak of tactical retreats.

But then what? Back to being fraud Alfred? Back to three days of humiliation? Back to dying goldfish and contagious stomach viruses?

No. Not acceptable. Forward was the only option.

22 seconds.

I stopped directly in front of her, close enough to count her eyelashes. Close enough to see the small mole on her cheek. Close enough that retreating would require backing up and admitting defeat.

She tilted her head slightly, studying me with those dangerous eyes.

“Alfred? What are you—”

No time for questions. No space for explanations. The timer wouldn’t stop for dialogue.

I closed my eyes because looking at her while doing this would definitely cause system failure. Darkness was better. Darkness meant I couldn’t see judgment or confusion or whatever expression she wore.

In my mind, I visualized a passionate anime kiss. The kind where the protagonist sweeps the girl off her feet, where time stops and cherry blossoms fall and dramatic music swells. That’s what I aimed for. That’s what my delusions promised.

My body had different plans.

I lunged forward stiffly, more headbutt than romantic gesture. My lips made contact with something warm and soft.

Her cheek. I’d kissed her cheek. Not even properly, more like a nervous bird pecking at breadcrumbs. The contact lasted approximately point-one seconds, maybe less. A quantum kiss. A theoretical pressing of faces.

I pulled back instantly, gasping like I’d just surfaced from drowning. Oxygen flooded my lungs. My heart tried to escape through my throat. Sweat dripped down my spine in rivers.

But I did it. Actually did it. Made physical contact without spontaneous combustion or tactical retreat.

My phone vibrated in my death grip. I looked down at the screen through blurry vision.

《TUTORIAL COMPLETE》

《LEVEL UP: BRONZE TIER UNLOCKED》

《NEW ABILITIES AVAILABLE》

Victory surged through my veins like liquid confidence. I didn’t run away. I made contact. I completed the objective and survived.

The fact that it was barely a kiss didn’t matter. The fact that I looked like a spasming robot didn’t matter. The fact that Seda stood there frozen in shock, one hand touching the spot on her cheek I’d pecked, didn’t matter.

I’d won. Leveled up. Proven myself.

Elizabeth stared at me like I’d grown a second head. Seda’s mouth hung open slightly, words failing to form.

I pocketed my phone with trembling hands, trying to project confidence I absolutely didn’t feel. My face burned hot enough to cook eggs. My legs wobbled like jelly.

But I was standing here. Not running. Not fleeing. Not inventing elaborate lies.

The thought crystallized in my oxygen-deprived brain, pure and simple and absolutely delusional.

I am a dangerous man.