What I Want To Know

A few days had passed.

The class had finally begun to settle down, but my relationship with Kiyohito remained strained.

He seemed to be having fun with other classmates, not intentionally excluding or ignoring me, but there was still an awkward tension in the air.

As I prepared to leave school alone, some guys from class started teasing me. “Aren’t you going home with your wife?”

“Not every day,” I replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Seeing me struggle, Marin-chan intervened. “Don’t bully my husband!”

“We’re just teasing,” one of them laughed. “But really, you guys don’t seem to match.”

Objectively, that was true. Even from my own perspective, it always felt strange.

Ignoring their comments, I tried to leave, but Marin-chan whispered, “We’re not mismatched at all.”

Sensing that she might say something she’d regret, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the hallway. Just as we were about to leave, we nearly bumped into Kiyohito.

“Sorry…”

“Uh, yeah… You two seem… close,” Kiyohito muttered sadly.

“I…” I started to say something, but Marin-chan quickly pulled my hand, cutting me off.

“Hey, wait…”

“You were about to say something weird, weren’t you?” she whispered, making me realize she was right. The words I almost said were terrible.

We walked home hand in hand. As we strolled down the hallway, I could feel the stares of people passing by.

“Is that the angel’s husband? No way!” “Seriously? That’s not possible!” “What’s so great about him?” “Maybe he’s super rich?” “Even if he is, he’s still a no.”

Marin-chan squeezed my hand tighter.

“Sorry…” (Marin)

“It’s fine. I’m used to this.”

“You shouldn’t get used to it. This isn’t right.”

I know how people are. They tear down the successful, laugh at the failures, build expectations only to let them crash, ignore hard work and call it luck or talent.

That’s just how people are. I’m no exception.

I was jealous of Marin Shiozaki. She had everything, was given everything, charmed everyone, and always exceeded expectations.

Yet, she chose to love someone like me, who had nothing.

◇

As soon as we got home, Marin-chan immediately hugged me.

“I love you.” (Marin)

“…Yeah,” 

“Please, don’t ever hate me.”

“I won’t. I really don’t care about what they said.”

“But I do.”

“…I see.”

“Hey, Marin-chan.”

“What?”

“I want to know more about you.”

“About me? Well, my measurements are 91, 65, 93, I think?” (G-cup?)

“…No, not that. I mean, what kind of girl you were… stuff like that.”

“Sure. Let’s talk about the past for a bit.”

◇ (Alright, flashback time)

From the moment I was born, I was a winner.

Even I think it’s quite a statement to make right off the bat. But it’s an essential part of describing my life.

My mother was wealthy, and my father was kind but weak. Additionally, I inherited my mother’s beautiful features, making me quite the pretty girl. My striking white hair and beautiful face inevitably drew attention wherever I went.

I was always told I was cute, but being shy, I remember hiding behind my mother’s legs whenever we went out.

Yes, when I was young, I had a shy and introverted personality.

With my noticeable appearance and introverted nature, I had a tough time in kindergarten. I was bullied by boys and ostracized by girls, which only made me even more withdrawn. I clung to my mother and gradually became more spoiled.

However, that phase was temporary. As I grew older, my cuteness only intensified, to the point where even the boys who bullied me ended up confessing their feelings to me.

Of course, I rejected them all. I never forgot that they had bullied me.

One day, shortly after I started elementary school, my father took me to a certain place.

“Hey, it’s been a while, Gunjou-san.”

“Long time no see, Ando-san. Oh, and it’s Shiozaki now.”

“Oh, right. It’s hard to get used to even after all these years. Oh, is this your daughter? What a cute girl,” said a man I didn’t recognize as he patted my head.

I quickly hid behind my father’s legs, and from behind the man, a boy about my age emerged.

“Is your daughter not interested in the entertainment industry?”

“As you can see, she’s very shy. Come on, Marin, say hello properly.”

“…Shiozaki… Marin.”

“Oh, Marin-chan, huh? Nice to meet you. Are you interested in movies, Marin-chan?”

“…No.”

“Oh dear! If you appeared in my films, I could become a famous director,” the man said, laughing.

Then the little boy peeked out and asked, “Director! Who is this girl?”

“Ah, she’s the child of my friend,” the man replied.

The boy took my hand and said, “Nice to meet you! I’m Aoi Yamaguchi!”

“…Marin… Shiozaki…”

The boy stared at my hair.

Here it comes, I thought. He’s going to say something about my weird hair color.

But instead, he said with a cheerful smile, “You have such a beautiful hair color!”

For the first time in my life, a boy my age complimented my hair.

And just like that, I fell in love for the first time.