The Fallen Prince’s Pleasure Dungeon: I Won’t Let the Female Adventurers Leave ~ I Was Reincarnated as the Villain in an Eroge, and Even Though I Just Want to Live a Quiet Slow Life, Beautiful Girls Keep Gathering Around Me!?~ - 37-38

Chapter 37: Whoa, That Was Way Too Easy

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“Is he really in a place like this?”

Led by the thief girl, they had arrived at the foot of a mountain quite a distance from the village they had stopped at. A portion of the mountainside had crumbled away, leaving a sheer cliff. It appeared to be nothing more than an ordinary rock wall.

“You… having dragged us all this way, if this turns out to be a lie… I trust you understand what will happen?”

“I’m not lying.”

Her attitude held not a shred of respect. Uber moved his hand toward the hilt of his sword, but―

“You kick it right here… like this!”

The thief girl kicked a depression in the rock with the toe of her boot and then…

Clunk, rumble, rumble…

Part of the wall slid open with a dull sound, revealing a darkness that stretched into the depths.

“Heh.”

“…Hey, girl,” Egmont, standing beside him, asked.

“How did you find a thing like this?”

“I’m not the one who found it. I heard about it from a hunter who lives near here. He said he saw a suspicious man coming and going from this spot. So we tried going in ourselves, but it was crawling with traps. In the end, we had to retreat without finding any treasure worth mentioning.”

She then continued. 

“Actually, I figured it out once I was inside. I didn’t smell any treasure at all.”

“Did you catch sight of this suspicious man?”

“No. But we didn’t search the whole place, either.”

Egmont looked at Uber and gave a small nod. The thieves hadn’t been looking for that man. If that man was Alto, the possibility of him hiding somewhere here was not zero. This was clearly a dungeon. Whether Alto was still in one piece, however, was another matter.

“You’ve been inside before, haven’t you? Lead the way.”

“What!?”

The girl voiced her dissatisfaction.

“No way. I told you there are traps. It’s a pain, and the deal was that you’d give me the reward once I guided you this far, right? Or are you saying you’ll give me more if I go inside?”

Irritated by her insolent attitude, Uber snapped and drew his sword.

“Whoa!?”

The girl’s face paled instantly as she leaped back.

“A-At least you’re gonna give me the reward for getting you this far, right?”

“Don’t push your luck, you gutter rat. Do you truly wish to be killed this time!?”

“Tch!? Dammit, this is why I hate nobles! You’ll regret this!”

Screaming her abuse, she ran off.

“Prince, she might have made for a good sacrificial pawn, but…”

“What? Are you trying to lecture me?”

“No. It is just…”

“Hmph. It might be a dungeon, but can’t you tell it barely has any mana? Besides, I cannot stand to be around a commoner like that for a moment longer.”

“I see.”

Egmont bowed his head respectfully, knowing his place.

“Now, it’s time for the Alto hunt. I’ll be delighted if I find him cowering miserably inside…!”

Uber licked his lips with his sword in one hand.

■　■　■

“Wow, that was way too easy.”

A voice escaped me as I watched the monitor. The second prince, Uber, was standing in front of the dummy dungeon entrance. It had been two years since I’d seen him, but he was just as unpleasant as ever.

I was currently stationed near the boundary of the two dungeons. I had installed security cameras at the entrance of the dummy, which I’d made to look convincingly official, and I was watching the footage being sent back.

(And Uber, sorry to disappoint your expectations, but…)

“Alto-sama, it’s done!”

“Hoo, this one is thick and hot, just the way I like it. It’s quite a mouthful…!”

“Man. Sausages look good.”

I had set up a makeshift glamping facility and was in the middle of a barbecue. We were inside a cave, but I had a ventilation-fan-style smoke extractor―no, a smoke eliminator. So everything was perfect. Medi happily brought over a skewer of meat.

“Here, say ‘ahh’.”

“I can eat by myself, you know?”

“Alto-sama is working. So, say ‘ahh’.”

I accepted her kindness and let her feed me, filling my stomach.

(Sorry I’m not cowering miserably, Uber.)

I had left the task of luring them to Imelda and the others. They had spread false information about this dummy dungeon to keep him away from the legitimate one. They fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker. I thought it was a bit too easy, but that was probably thanks to Kia’s great acting. The role of a “low-life thief” who got used and spat out a parting shot… Most probably, Kia was lurking in the shadows right now, smirking to herself.

Just then…

“I’m sorry! I’m late!”

Mine came rushing in, clattering along the moving walkway.

I planned to leave the task of repelling Uber to the traps I’d already set, so there was no need for everyone to gather. I hadn’t forced the gnomes to come since they had town-building to do, but it seemed Mine wanted to observe the operation of the traps everyone had brainstormed.

“Huff, puff… one of my coworkers didn’t show up for their shift, so I got delayed looking for them.”

“Hm? Are you guys going to be okay?”

“I panicked because I’d made a strict schedule based on the number of workers, but another coworker said they’d work twice as hard, so I left it to them!”

“You’re actually going that far?”

“Of course! I calculated the workload per person based on the deadline and man-hours to manage everything strictly―”

(This has moved beyond a hobby…. Or rather, maybe that’s part of the hobby for her.)

“Well, whatever. You made it in time, Mine.”

“Oh, then!?”

“They’re coming in now, our party of victims.”

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Chapter 38: Enough, I’m Going On Ahead!

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“We shall proceed, Prince.”

At Egmont’s command, a knight carrying a torch took the lead. Since the entrance itself had been fitted with a mechanism, they were certain this place was not a natural formation. The interior showed clear signs of being crafted by someone’s hand. Brick floors and walls. A single, straight passage. Egmont and the other knights advanced while checking for traps, while Uber walked in the middle of the group.

Soon, however…

“A staircase, I see.”

A flight of stairs stretched upward. It was narrow and steeply inclined. They climbed with heightened caution, but nothing unusual happened at first.

“Hmph, how disappointing. Though, no matter what trap or monster stands before me—”

“P-Prince!!”

Having reached the halfway point, the lead knight let out a scream. A vibration shook beneath their feet.

“Wh-What is it!?”

With a rhythmic clack-clack sound, the treads folded away, and the staircase transformed into a smooth slope.

“Uwaaaaaah…!”

It started when the lead knight lost his balance and fell. A mass of three knights clad in heavy armor—joined by Egmont—became a human boulder.

“Nuooooooo!?”

“W-Wait—”

They crushed Uber with a dull thud. Then, catching the remaining knights behind them, the entire group went rolling down. The sound of armor clashing against armor and the screams of grown men echoed through the dungeon.

“Move! Get off me this instant…!”

Uber shouted at his sluggish subordinates who were doing nothing but groaning. When he finally managed to pick himself up, he tasted iron. Blood was dripping from his nose.

“M-My beautiful face!”

He looked up at the slope with pure malice.

Clang, clang, clang

As if mocking Uber, the slope slowly returned to its original state as a staircase.

“—!? Don’t mess with me! Enough! I’m going on ahead!”

Brushing off Egmont’s attempt to stop him, Uber stepped onto the stairs. This time he climbed even more cautiously, reaching the point where they had fallen.

“There is no change…”

“That’s because you lot are sluggish fools who let your guard down!”

Just as he finished barking at his subordinates behind him…

—Clack, clack.

“Here it comes!”

He braced his arms against the side walls, successfully avoiding a fall.

“As if I’d fall for such a pathetic trap twice. Let’s go!”

No matter how steep the incline was, if one gripped the walls and floor firmly with hands and feet, there was no problem. No problem at all—

—Plop.

“……?”

A strange sound came from somewhere. Before he could process it, something rained down on Uber’s head. At first, he thought rainwater was leaking through, but…

—Splosh, splosh, splop!

“Wh-What is it this time!?”

“Slimes!? No, this is just plain mucus—!?”

“I-I’m slipping!!”

Mucus began to overflow from the ceiling, walls, and floor. It was bad. While clinging to a steep slope, being enveloped in such a substance meant….

“Uwaaaaaaaaaah!?”

—Sliiip! Thud, thud!!

The mucus-covered group of armor-clad men fell headlong.

“Oof!?” “Gwah!?” “OUCH!?”

Screams even more piteous than before rang out. They had never heard of such a ridiculous trap. It wasn’t designed to deal fatal wounds. Even as a deterrent to keep intruders out, it felt half-hearted. The mucus didn’t seem harmful either. It was as if someone were just making fun of them. But that was exactly what fueled Uber’s obsession. Not a single shred of thought remained about giving up and turning back.

“Don’t you mock meeeee!”

With bloodshot eyes, Uber and his men retried the sticky slide.

■　■　■

“Huff, huff…!”

By the time Uber and his men managed to reach the top by driving their swords into the slope, they were considerably exhausted. Naturally, they all possessed stamina beyond that of ordinary men, but the discomfort of mucus flowing into the gaps of their armor and the mental strain of being on guard for the next trap had whittled away at their spirit.

(If Alto is hiding here…)

He wouldn’t be satisfied until he vented this frustration with his sword. They caught their breath at the landing at the top of the stairs before resuming the march. However, the floor illuminated by Egmont’s torch was—

“…Prince.”

“What now! Ugh.”

It was another staircase. This time, it led down.

“““…………”””

Even if they turned back, it was down. To go forward, it was down.

“H-Hurry up and go! You, you take the lead!”

Uber forced one of the knights forward. Reluctantly, just as Uber himself began to descend…

—Clack, clack.

—Splosh.

“D-Dammit allllllllll!!”

They tumbled down the downward-leading sticky slide. Uber picked up his bruised body. When he looked up, there was another upward staircase—

“U-Uwaaaaaaaaah!!”

+　+　+

After the hellish cycle of ups and downs repeated four times, they finally emerged into a flat passage. They were utterly sick of it. The liquid clinging to their skin felt disgusting, and they could no longer tell what was sweat and what was mucus.

With every passing minute, the discomfort index rose. This was true for Uber as well as the other knights. Furthermore, it was hot. Abnormally so.

“Isn’t it hot? It’s boiling in here!”

“…Yes. The temperature and humidity seem to have been rising for some time. It’s like a steam bath—”

“Prince, there is a sign here!”

“A sign?”

It was a brand-new wooden sign, completely out of place in a dungeon. On it, in rounded characters, was the following message:

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Sticky-Sticky Sauna

Take your time and relax

to your heart’s content!~☆

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“What’s with the ‘☆’!!!!”

In a fit of rage, Uber kicked the sign away.

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