The Childhood Friend I Had Grown Distant From Started Acting a Little Strange

Chapter 9.1: Maya Yuki (1)

For me, Yuu-chan was my everything.

When I was little, I was very shy and couldn’t connect with anyone. I think I had given up.

If I tried to speak, only a hoarse voice came out. If I tried to approach, my legs froze. If I felt even a little intimidated, tears came out. I thought I was a troublesome person. I believed no one would ever approach someone like me.

So, I thought I would always be alone. I thought that now, in the past, and forever, I would spend my life alone and lonely. I think I had given up.

At that time, I met Yuu-chan… Matsuda Yuma-kun.

“Is that book interesting?”

In the corner of the kindergarten room, I was reading a picture book when Yuu-chan asked me that. But I was surprised by the sudden arrival of a boy and couldn’t say anything.

“Eh, ah…”

“?”

I had to say something. But words wouldn’t come out. I tried to speak, but only meaningless sounds spilled out.

…This had happened before. Everyone got angry, thinking I ignored them because I couldn’t speak, or they got fed up and left. So, I thought this time would be the same.

But I was wrong.

“Oh, sorry. I startled you, didn’t I?”

Yuu-chan apologized sincerely and sat down a little distance away in front of me. He didn’t seem offended. While I was confused, Yuu-chan said with a gentle smile,

“I’ll wait, so let’s talk when you’re not startled anymore!”

He said that and looked at me, smiling brightly.

…It was a calm and kind gaze I had never experienced. Influenced by it, my mouth moved naturally.

“Uh, um… yeah, it’s interesting…?”

“Oh? What’s the story about?”

“Uh, um… it’s about Grandpa Badger…”

I stumbled many times, and the conversation stopped each time, but Yuu-chan never made a bad face. He listened to my clumsy story with interest and enjoyment.

Before I knew it, I was talking to him normally without being nervous.

“Wow… it’s sad, but it’s a good story!”

“It is! That’s why Maya loves this book!”

“Oh, so your name is Maya!”

We realized then that we didn’t know each other’s names. When I nodded, Yuu-chan smiled gently and said,

“I’m Yuma! Nice to meet you, Maya!”

…This was our beginning. From that day, my life changed greatly.

From then on, the days were like a dream. Yuu-chan was always by my side. He stayed with me without making a bad face, even though I was bad at talking, and sometimes he gently reached out to me when I couldn’t move.

When other kids got angry at my attitude, he protected me and patiently explained that I was bad at connecting with people. When I was crying, he came to me quickly and stayed by my side.

Looking back now, I think I was a troublesome child. But Yuu-chan never made a bad face even once.

Once, I asked him why he bothered with me. Yuu-chan tilted his head with a puzzled look.

“Why? Because it’s fun being with Maya?”

“That’s not true… I can’t talk much, I’m gloomy, I’m a bad kid…”

“Hm? But Maya is kind and good at talking, you know? That’s why I have fun with Maya!”

Yuu-chan said it with a carefree smile, and I didn’t feel like he was lying. I felt he really thought that way. It made me so happy… I cried loudly and troubled Yuu-chan.

From then on, being with Yuu-chan became my everything. I wanted to be with him even a little, so I followed him everywhere. Yuu-chan accepted me without a bad face, and I grew even more devoted.

It became more obvious when our mothers became friends, and I was with Yuu-chan almost every day.

When we entered elementary school, some classmates teased us about it, but I didn’t care at all, and Yuu-chan allowed me to stay by his side without minding. Eventually, no one said anything.

The days I could be with Yuu-chan were truly fun and happy… I thought this daily life would continue forever.

…Until the day in second grade when Yuu-chan’s mother, Kiyomi-san, passed away.

Even after the funeral, Yuu-chan didn’t seem to change. He pulled me along and always smiled at me.

At first, I was worried, but seeing him act the same as always, I thought he was okay and didn’t think much of it.

…I learned that was a mistake a little later. That day, I was visiting Yuu-chan’s house.

His father, Soutarou-san, guided me, and as I walked to Yuu-chan’s room,

“…Uh, uhh…”

I heard a muffled voice from the room. Looking closely, I saw the door was slightly open. Curious, I peeked inside quietly.

And I saw it.

“Uhh… Mom… uwaa…”

Yuu-chan was hugging Kiyomi-san’s photo and crying.

I don’t remember how I got home. When I came to, I was in my room, sitting in a daze. It was the first time I saw Yuu-chan crying, so I think I was shocked and upset.

…He wasn’t okay at all. Yuu-chan was grieving all along. He just didn’t show it. He was holding it in.

So why was he holding it in? I thought something forced Yuu-chan into that state… and I understood the reason.

—It was me. Because I relied on Yuu-chan completely and depended on him… that’s why he was holding it in.

Because I was weak, pathetic, and couldn’t do anything without Yuu-chan… he had to act fine. Otherwise, I would get anxious and cry.

I kept making him hold it in… If I wasn’t there, Yuu-chan could have laughed and cried freely… I was the one making Yuu-chan suffer…!

Thinking that, tears overflowed and wouldn’t stop. And I felt disappointed in myself for wanting Yuu-chan even then. When I cried, Yuu-chan was always there, wiping my tears.

“…I have to live alone.”

So, I swore at that moment. I wouldn’t approach Yuu-chan anymore. Because if I’m there, he’ll worry about me… I won’t rely on him anymore. I’ll live alone.

I thought that was the best atonement I could do for the person I loved most.