The Charm of the Popular Beautiful Succubus in Class Doesn't Work on Me ~ For Some Reason, This Beauty Keeps Trying to Hold My Hand ~ - 9

Chapter 9: Why Are You Being So Kind…?

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Kisara Sarashina’s POV

I stared at Michihito-kun, who had fallen silent. Then, I suddenly came back to my senses. 

Why am I saying all those things to this perverted bastard? No matter how much I ask him for an answer, there’s no way he can give me the answer I’m hoping for. 

My reasoning must be getting clouded for a moment because he was the first boy that didn’t get affected by my ability. While the immunity this boy had against my ability was annoying, but a part of me was also curious about me. I was wondering what a normal boy would react to my words and it seemed my curiosity had gotten the better of me for a bit there. Not to mention, expecting something was useless to begin with. The answer I hoped to get didn’t actually exist. He would only just give me the same predictable lines. Just the typical nice and empty things people would say.

That’s right. I’m not expecting anything from him. I’ve already given up on everything…

Just as I thought, the boy showed me a smile filled with pity and an empty kindness.

Go ahead, answer me… Michihito Naruse. Give me the ordinary opinion of an ordinary boy…

“This might not be the answer you’re hoping for, Sarashina, but… I think the feeling of ‘love’ is the result of thinking deeply about someone, over and over again.”

Seemingly being considerate of my feelings, he began to speak carefully. He actually chose his words with great care. This time, there was no trace of anger in his voice.

“Thinking deeply…?”

His unexpectedly serious tone drew me in, and I found myself responding to his words out of instinct. 

“That’s right. I think there are countless triggers that can make someone feel ‘love.’ It could be love at first sight, or the moment someone firmly holds your hand, or when someone speaks to you in a kind voice. But those are just the triggers for starting to think of someone as ‘special.’”

“Triggers…”

Almost as if questioning myself, I repeated his words aloud.

“That’s right. The truly important part comes after that initial spark.  By the time you realize it, you’re constantly watching that person, noticing every little gesture they make. You want to know more and more about them. You start thinking:‘What do they think of me? How can I make them notice me? Do they like someone else?’ And before you know it, your mind is filled with thoughts of them, so much so that you can’t think of anything else. I believe that when you nurture those feelings carefully and sincerely, they become what I’d call ‘true love.’”

After speaking all stuff, he took a deep breath and looked straight at me before continuing on. 

“What I’m trying to say is that ‘love’ is a special emotion. Unlike anger, sadness, or joy, it’s a precious feeling born from thinking deeply about someone over and over again. So… I hope you can properly accept the ‘love’ that someone offers you. I want you to think about their feelings in your own way, Sarashina. And… if possible, I hope you’ll respond to that love in an honest and sincere way. I don’t want you to run away or brush it off. If you can respond to them with sincerity, I’m sure they’ll understand and be happy to accept your answer no matter what it is.”

And then, he turned his gaze away from me, looking embarrassed. Meanwhile, I was dumbfounded, at a loss for words. 

Th-that kind of thing… I already know without him telling me that. I understand, painfully so, that the feeling of “love” is something special. But… Thinking about someone’s “love,” or responding to it sincerely… That’s something I just can’t do. If there were someone I could truly say “I love you” from the bottom of my heart… If there were someone who could truly say they “love” me from the bottom of theirs… Then I’d probably remember their faces and feel my heart race. I might recall their voice and feel my chest might tighten. I might find myself smiling, lost in the thought of their scent…

If only that could happen for me…

If only I could experience a normal love…

But you see… That’s just not possible for me anymore… The “love” people direct at me isn’t “real love.”

“Don’t say it so easily…”

I murmured, my voice was so small, barely audible to him. I didn’t even have the will to confront him head-on anymore.

“Sarashina… I might have misunderstood you. I thought you were someone who’s had a smooth-sailing life, someone who thought everything would go according to their wishes… I didn’t expect you to have this kind of trouble plaguing you.”

He paused, looking a bit awkward before continuing. 

“Actually, I’ve got a bit of a small trauma about confessions and stuff, so I ended up projecting myself back then to you.”

“…”

“I’m sorry… For yelling at you like that earlier.”

He looked uncomfortable, but he never once averted his gaze from me. 

Why are you apologizing to me…? I’m the one who said something cruel first… You should be getting angry at me… Why are you being so kind to me… Ah, this guy… I’ve barely talked to him and yet, he’s barging into my heart without permission and saying stuff as if he can see right through me. Why am I letting myself get shaken by this perverted bastard? But… I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye. If I did, I think I’m going to cry out loud. 

But then, a pale hand suddenly appeared in my field of vision as I cast my gaze downward. 

“Anyway, since the mood is getting a bit gloomy, I will let you read my palm. But in return, you need to apologize properly to Makabe, okay?”

I looked up in surprise and there, I saw him smiling as he extended his right hand to me.

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