The Charm of the Popular Beautiful Succubus in Class Doesn't Work on Me ~ For Some Reason, This Beauty Keeps Trying to Hold My Hand ~ - 47

Chapter 47: …I Want to Go to the Fireworks Festival

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This happened when I was in my second year of middle school. Not to brag, but by that time, my body was already fully developed. (And on top of that, I had this “succubus ability.”) Because of that, I had an idol-like position in the class. All the boys in class liked me. They all devoted themselves to me. If I was ever in trouble, the boys would naturally gather around me. If I suggested something, they would happily agree to my suggestion.

Of course, I received confessions from boys in my grade almost every day. But I never dated anyone. Saying that I had completely transcended the realm of mere ‘dating’ might be an exaggeration, but (since all of them only “liked” me because of my ability) I never believed in the feeling of “love.” So, whenever I was confessed to, I would brush it off casually and keep a moderate distance (while adjusting my “ability”) so that I wouldn’t be seen as a romantic interest for them. There were plenty of girls who didn’t like me because of it. I wasn’t outright bullied, but my indoor shoes would get hidden, or my gym clothes would get covered in glue. That kind of thing was a regular occurrence for me.

Liked by boys, hated by girls. That was my life. Then one day, I received a confession from a certain upperclassman. Everyone called him “Shibuya-senpai.”

He was the captain of the soccer team, and with his handsome face and refreshing demeanor to him. He was so popular that he had fan clubs not only in his own grade but also in other grades. When Shibuya-senpai confessed to me, my heart skipped a beat. Of course, I did think he was handsome, and I did find his mannerisms charming. But what truly piqued my interest was that his confession was the very first conversation we had ever had. (Of course, I had never used my “ability” on him. After all, this was our first conversation.)

Senpai told me it was “love at first sight.” Maybe an ordinary girl would have been annoyed, thinking, “You don’t even know my personality,” or “Did you choose me just because of my looks?” But at that moment, I was really happy. Having been confessed to so often, his confession felt genuinely appealing to me. But you know, I wasn’t that naive. Naturally, I had doubts. Did this person really “like” me? Could he really have fallen for me, someone he had never interacted with before?

So, to gauge the sincerity of his feelings, I put off giving him an answer but started walking home with him after school and going on dates on weekends. During that time, Senpai was incredibly kind to me. I truly believed that he must genuinely “like” me. But… back then… I had never been in a relationship before… and to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I “liked” Senpai. Sure, my heart had skipped a beat when he confessed, and when we walked home together, even though we didn’t hold hands or anything, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding either. But… I couldn’t tell if that was really the feeling of “love” or not. 

So… I decided to talk to a friend about it. Most girls disliked me, but… There was one girl who was kind to me. Her name was Akari Akanashi. I told her about my feelings. I told her that Shibuya-senpai had confessed to me… That I wasn’t completely opposed to it, but that I had never dated anyone before and didn’t know what to do and, more importantly, that I didn’t even understand what “love” was.

Akari listened to me with genuine sincerity. Thanks to her, I came to believe that “I like Shibuya-senpai.” But you know, fate could be so cruel… It turned out, Akari’s first love was also Shibuya-senpai.

Heh. God really can be cruel, don’t you think? To share the same first love with my only friend…

But Akari told me…

“Then from now on, we’re rivals.”

“Sure, I’ve already fallen behind, but I won’t lose to you! “

“Let’s both do our best so we have no lingering regrets!”

That was the first time I felt a sense of dread. I had finally found someone I could truly think of as ‘love,’ but I was afraid that person would be taken from me. Because, back in middle school, Akari was incredibly popular. Unlike me, she was petite, charming, sparkling… A feminine girl that triggered the instinct that compelled people to protect her. She had a certain cuteness that stirred that kind of instinct. Thinking about that… I just couldn’t sit still. I immediately called out to Senpai and.. I used my ‘ability.’

By the next day, rumors that Senpai and I were dating had spread throughout the entire school. Of course they did… After all, on that day, Senpai and I walked to school hand in hand…

Looking back now… I really was the worst. It was just a moment of impulse. I wanted to show everyone how lovey-dovey senpai and I were… I wanted to boast that I had such a wonderful boyfriend… I wanted Akari to know that Senpai told me he ‘loved’ me and not her.

Because I loved Senpai, and Senpai loved me. I thought that as long as we both ‘loved’ each other, anything would be forgiven. In a way, I was using senpai… To ascertain my own position… To ascertain my own status at school.

But… that kind of relationship didn’t last long. One day, Senpai tried to force himself on me. I had never led him on or anything, but… It seemed Senpai could no longer control his feelings anymore because I had used my ‘ability’ too much on him. 

It wasn’t like I hated the idea of doing that with him, but we hadn’t been dating for long, and at the time, I was much more naive than I am now.

(And more importantly, it was because I had realized that Senpai’s ‘love’ was no longer the same genuine ‘love’ that had charmed me at the beginning.)

So, I rejected him.

But when guys get like that, they can’t stop themselves, right?

Undeterred, he still tried to force himself on me. Even now, I would start trembling when I remembered the look on his face that day. He overpowered me with incredible strength… pinned my arms down… It hurt… it was terrifying… It was heartbreaking… I barely managed to escape with my life, but there was no way an incident like that wouldn’t become a problem in school. In the end, I transferred to another middle school in a different district, and I heard that Senpai moved even farther away, to some rural town.

Right before I transferred, I told Akari everything that had happened.

(And at that time, I also revealed my ‘ability’ to Akari.)

Akari… Of course, she didn’t forgive me. Well, of course she didn’t… 

(I ignored our promise to do our best together, used my ‘ability’ on Senpai.) 

I stole her first love and then made it so he couldn’t even stay at this school anymore… Even so, Akari never once raised her voice. She listened to my entire story and then quietly said.

“Don’t ever appear in front of me again.”

“Because I don’t want to lose someone precious to me again.”

Akari’s words from that day still echoed in my ears. I couldn’t say anything back to her. After all, it was my fault for toying with Senpai’s genuine heart. 

I… I’m a devil who steals people’s precious ones away. Someone like me has no right to love anyone…

I ruined Senpai’s life. I ruined Akari’s life.

And I’m sure, without even realizing it, I’ve ruined the lives of so many more people. That’s just the kind of woman I am…

(…From that moment on, I stopped ‘falling in love’ with people.)

This is the past I never told you about, Michihito-kun…

“That’s why… Akari isn’t in the wrong.”

I clenched my fists tightly on my lap.

“When Akari said I would ‘ruin Michihito-kun’s life,’ I had no words to say back to her. Because she might be right… Maybe I really am repeating the same mistakes from my past…”

“…………”

“Akari really likes Michihito-kun, doesn’t she? I could tell in an instant just by looking into her eyes. That’s why she’s so desperate to keep me away from you. She’s just trying to protect you from me…”

I was so frustrated, so frustrated that I bit my lip to hold back the tears that were about to spill over. Even so, I… I had to ask him.

“Hey… Am I messing up someone’s life again with my selfishness?”

I said while lifting my face, but then, my body was suddenly pulled into his arms.

“…Huh?”

By the time I realized it, I was completely enveloped in his embrace.

“Mi-… Michihito-kun…”

“Thank you for telling me about your painful past.”

The shock of it all left me frozen in place. I even forgot to hold back my tears. I could feel them trailing down my cheeks.

“I think I understand now why Akanashi dislikes you.”

“…Yeah.”

“I can’t say I don’t understand her feelings. I’m sure she really loved that upperclassman.”

“…Yeah.”

“But you know, Kisara… Thinking about whether someone truly loves you, considering whether you should be with them, wanting to show off your relationship… That’s all completely normal when you’re in love, isn’t it?”

He took a breath before continuing.

“And besides, I know the Kisara of today. Even if the Kisara from back then toyed with a man’s heart, I can say with confidence that the Kisara now would never do that. I’m your boyfriend, after all. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Rely on me more.”

His arms tightened around me.

Ah… I can hear Michihito-kun’s heartbeat. So warm… I’m being held in his arms right now.

I buried my face in his chest and surrendered myself to him.

I’m able to keep going because of Michihito-kun… Because he gave me the chance, because he changed me. Hey… Kisara… Is it really okay? Is it okay to let myself lean on his words? …Yeah, it’s okay. At least for today, I can allow myself to dream in my prince’s arms. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to being my usual self again…

“Hey… Michihito-kun.”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

His gentle voice reached my ears.

“When summer break comes… I want to go to the fireworks festival.”

This was the most selfish request I could make right now.

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