The Case of Being Reincarnated as a Noble in a World with a Skewed Gender Ratio - 22-23

Chapter 22: Shivers Running Down My Spine

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Having my face buried between a beautiful girl’s thigh… Just what kind of lucky pervert situation was that? And for some reason, the image that kept popping in my mind wasn’t those strawberry panties, but Tia’s face. Tia was smiling, but her eyes weren’t smiling. Somehow… It made me feel… Chill? Was that a chill? I literally felt a chill running down my spine! Could it be… Pressure? I felt something pressuring me… And it was coming from someone or something that I didn’t know!!

However, I want to say one thing! I didn’t do anything! It wasn’t my fault! Please believe me! No! Even if you look at me accusingly like that, the fact still remains! I didn’t do anything!! 

“So-So… Darling?”

“Who are you calling ‘darling’?! I’m not your darling! When did I become your darling?! Arghh!!”

“Do-Don’t tell me… You were just playing with me?”

“There was nothing between us for real! What playing?! You’ve watched too many soap operas! Who would want to have such an ambiguous relationship anyway?! I mean, in the first place, I don’t even know your name or your age!”

“I-I don’t know what a soap opera is, but my name is Miria Heartness, the third princess of Heartness Kingdom! I’m 6 years old and I’m here to become Darling’s wife! Nice to meet you, Darling!”

Heartness Kingdom… That must be the neighboring country to the west! Why was the princess here?! Crap… I had been rude to her without realizing she was a princess… Not to mention, I also accidentally buried my face between her thighs!! Wasn’t that a serious crime?! I might lose my head!! 

I couldn’t stop the cold sweat from forming on my back. It was a bit late, but I finally started speaking to her using formal language. 

“…So… Princess Miria, what brings you here?”

“I told you already. You’re my darling now, so just call me Miria! No need for formalities!”

“But still…”

“Darling… You already saw my panties, didn’t you?”

“Uuugh…”

Bu-But it’s not like I saw them on purpose! Don’t misunderstand!!

“See? And you already know my name, right?”

This scoundrel!! She got me!!

“….Miria.”

“That’s right. So? There’s no problem, right? I came here to meet Darling anyway. But… To think we’d meet like this… This must be fate, right? We must be destined to be together!”

Destined to be with strawberry panties… Somehow… It felt kind of weird…? I wouldn’t say it out loud though, but still…. How to say it… It felt like something I shouldn’t say given my age in this world…

“Hey, hey, hey!~ So what should we do now? Since we’re married now, why don’t we enjoy our newly-wed honeymoon bliss? Do you want to have dinner first? Or take a bath first? Or… Me? Hehehehe~ Somehow, I’m feeling a bit shy~ How many children do you want? I mean, having a lot of children is the best, right? How about 30? I will be sure to do my best! That’s right. What about our home? Shall we live together from today on? Of course, I want to sleep together with you, Darling. I definitely want to sleep in Darling’s arms! And also, and also―”

“Too long!! That’s too long!”

“Muuu~ Darling, you’re so mean…”

“A-Anyway, you’re heading to the village, right? Let’s go. I will take you there.”

“It’s a date, right?! It is! I will go anywhere with you, Darling!”

The situation suddenly took an outrageous turn. Leila was standing on the site, watching the situation unfolding with faraway eyes… I mean, of course, she couldn’t afford to make careless remarks in front of a literal princess from another country… Right. A princess… Maybe Tia could do something about this blonde girl? Since Heartness Kingdom was located next to our kingdom, Tia should know Miria, right? I wonder how things would go when they met…?

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And what awaited us upon arriving at the village was..

“Oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my!!! My oh my!!! So you’ve already met your future husband!! As expected from my Miria!”

This blonde beauty before my eyes was Queen Heartness. Miria’s mother. She was a stunning busty beauty… Amazing… Her body was so voluptuous. It was almost as if her breasts were speaking directly to me…. Well, I was glad we could reunite Miria with her mother right after arriving at the village, but I didn’t expect the queen would be here too! I thought we’d meet with Miria’s escort or something! Anyway, we decided to have a chat at a cafe that just opened recently in the village.

“….Darling, don’t you think you’re staring at Mama’s boobs a bit too much?”

Oiii!! Why would you say that?! You should’ve kept quiet even if you noticed! Have some tact!! No, in the first place, those two melons just plopped right onto the table!! The melons made an audible thud sound!! I believe the ones at fault are those two melons!!

“…Master, I do believe you’re staring at it a bit too much too…”

Leila!! Rather than whispering softly into my ear like that, you should just keep it to yourself!!

“Oh my, oh my~ You like boobs, huh?~”

Your Majesty?! What are you talking about? I mean, to be fair, I’m a man so of course… Of course I like it! I love boobs! I mean, every man also loves boobs, right?!

“…I’m Mama’s daughter, so I’m sure my chest will  become big too.”

No! I refuse to feed into this situation any further!

“…So, what brings you all here?”

“Darling! Don’t ignore me!”

“Miria didn’t tell you?”

“I did!”

“So….Is that really true?”

“Indeed. I don’t mind if it’s now or in the future, I’d like you to be Miria’s husband. How about it?”

For real?!

“I will even give you the secret treasures that have been handed down in our country, you know?”

“We-Well, I’m not really interested in treasures and such…”

“…It’s a secret treasure, you know? Don’t you want to know what it is?”

“….Wha-What’s the treasure?”

“Three kinds of rice bowls!! Oyakodon, shimaidon, and lastly…. My mother is still alive so you can have soborodon as well!”

ISN’T THAT JUST DIRTY JOKEEEEEEEE!! I WANT TO SCREAMMM!! I REALLY WANT TO SCREAMM!!! IT’S NOT EVEN A ‘TREASURE’!! IT’S DIRTY 3P!! No, maybe it’s 4P…? But the heck… Soborodon, huh… A play from minced meat (soboro) and ‘sobo’ (そぼ = grandmother)… That’s… That’s quite clever actually. 

“I’m sorry, but I’d like to hear more about this… Engagement thing too.”

“…Please allow me to hear more about that too.”

The voices of the two people that shouldn’t be here reached our ears. Their voices seemed to harmonize perfectly.

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T/N: If you guys are new to the ‘donburi’ term… Oyakodon=mother+daughter… Shimaidon=sister+sister…. Actually this is my first time hearing soborodon. Apparently soborodon=grandmother+granddaughter/daughter I guess? ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

Chapter 23: Why Are They Here?

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I quietly stood up from my seat and together with Leila, who was standing behind me, we knelt down before the two people that came out of nowhere. 

“No need for that. We’re here on incognito after all.”

“….You seem to be having quite an interesting conversation, huh? El?”

Why is His Majesty and Tia here?! No, more importantly, why do both of them look like they’re posing like characters from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure!? The heck?! Is there something wrong with my eyes?!

Moreover, although Tia was smiling and laughing cheerfully, her eyes weren’t smiling at all. Her expression looked exactly like the one I imagined when I accidentally saw Miria’s underwear. Also.. The figure behind Tia… 

Don’t tell me His Majesty is a ‘STAND’?! I don’t know why but I feel so overwhelmed. I can’t speak or even my body. It’s as if time has stopped…. I-In that case… 

WRYYYYYY!! ZA WARUDO!! STOP TIME!!

Heh. Could I say something like that? Could I? Would I get scolded if I did? 

“Even though it’s been a while since I last saw you… Just what are you thinking, El? Hm?”

And the time begins to move again….

It truly felt time had started to move again with just that line from Tia. My inner monologue came to an end here. Nonetheless, somehow I felt like Tia could read my mind..

Albeit the pressure still existed, I tried my best to open my heavy mouth. 

“Lo-Long time no see, Your Majesty… Princess Tia.”

“You seem to be in good health. Good… Please wait a moment. I must greet her first. Now then… Queen Heartness. It’s been a while, isn’t it?”

“Indeed, King Rainrose. However, since we’re here on incognito as well, I would appreciate it if we could talk like normal.”

“Hmm… Very well. Let’s do that.”

After the king and the queen exchanged pleasantries, now it was Tia’s turn to greet the queen and Miria. After Tia, Miria also greeted King Rainrose.

“And so, King Rainrose, are you here for ‘that’?”

That?

“It’s not about ‘that’… I haven’t stepped into ‘that’ matter yet… However I can see the others have started to think about ‘that’… But you know, we still don’t know who the ‘person’ in ‘that’, right?”

That person? Just what are they talking about?

“Oh my… I always thought girls tend to grow up faster and mature earlier than boys, but… You still haven’t noticed, huh? King Rainrose.”

“…Rather than haven’t noticed, I don’t want to jump to conclusions too fast…”

“Well, putting ‘that’ aside, he already accomplished so many remarkable feats at the age of five. Moreover, he’s a boy… A rarity in this era. Since it seems he doesn’t have a fiancée yet and Miria seems to have already sensed that he’s her destined person… I definitely want her to have him! For that reason, I intend to bestow upon him the three secret treasures of our kingdom!”

“Three secret treasures?”

Your Majesty… It’s better if you just ignore that part, you know?

“Yes… Although unfortunately, I can’t tell you what they are…”

“I understand. Since they’re secret treasures, I won’t force you to tell me.”

Actually, I’ve heard about the so-called secret treasures… But really, Your Majesty, it’s better if you don’t know about it. There’s no benefit in knowing it. None at all.

“Also, umm… It’s hard for me to say this, but…”

“What’s the matter?”

“…It’s embarrassing when you keep staring at my chest. After all, I’m already taken….”

“Father..?! Your Majesty….?”

Uwah~ Tia was glaring at him with a look full of disdain. The damage must be immense for a doting parent like His Majesty.

“No, but if there are boobs in front of you, you’re bound to stare, right?! Especially when the two melons are practically spilling out of that dress! I mean, if you don’t want them to be seen, then you shouldn’t have to wear such a revealing dress! I-I’m not in the wrong!”

Your Majesty… (T_T) Your shameful side is coming out, you know…?

“You think so too, right? El?!”

Do-Don’t drag me into this! Look!! Tia is turning her head at me at full speed! She’s glaring at me!! Ugh…. At this rate…

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry, but I don’t really understand…”

This is my only way out!!

“WHAT?!”

Your Majesty, I beg of you… Please, pleaseeee keep your mouth shut….

“I guess you don’t understand it yet since you’re still too young… El, this world is in constant turmoil, all because of boobs! Every man in the world wants to be enveloped by boobs as they sleep! Once they’ve experienced that exquisite softness, they become addicted to that sensation! Do you know why boobs are so voluptuous and bouncy?! Because they’re filled with dreams! Boobs are the devil’s weapon, specifically designed to turn men into their slaves! Men that have become boobs’ slaves are called ‘boobs guys’! Viva la boobs!! Viva la boobs!! Boobs are the ultimate treasure!!”

Someone… Someone please stop His Majesty from yapping about boobs… A king who shouts ‘boobs’ at the top of his long… Just what the heck… Maybe this country is better off destroyed…? Tia is even crying now… There, there, don’t cry, Tia. It’s going to be okay…

We distanced ourselves from His Majesty, who was still talking passionately about boobs while looking up at the sky for some reason. I kept patting Tia’s head, comforting her to the best I could.

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