The Carnivorous Maidens Living with Me - Chapter 3: What’s the Definition of a Stalker?
Chapter 3: What’s the Definition of a Stalker?
I have a secret ambition. An ambition that every guy in the world probably dreams of.
That’s right, I want to flirt and have fun with a mutually loving girlfriend! Who could possibly mock this ambition? No… no one can. Only by living true to your desires can you truly shine!
“…Hey… hey, I said… HEY!”
Bachin!
“!?”
The sharp impact to the back of my head woke me up, and for a moment, I had no idea what was happening.
“Kisaragi? Uh… w-what’s wrong?”
I tried to speak as calmly as possible, but my voice betrayed me, trembling with panic.
“…Just go out with me.”
“…Huh?”
That’s what she said. Unable to process the situation, I glanced around. The classroom was empty except for me and Kisaragi. From the schoolyard, I could hear the shouts of the sports clubs, and from within the school building, the sounds of the brass band and chorus clubs.
“Uh… go where?”
Bachin!
“OWWWW!”
She hit me again. This time, a direct slap to my left cheek. Honestly… I thought she could aim for the world title with that one.
“Uh, Kisaragi-san…”
“I’m saying go out with me!”
“No… I mean… where… to?”
This time, she came at me with a fist like a straight punch, so I instinctively dodged.
“That was close… what’s your deal?! You could’ve hurt me!”
“It’s because you’re so dense!”
“Then what do you…”
“I’m saying go out with me with marriage in mind!”
With marriage in mind!
In mind!
Mind!
Her words echoed in my head like they had reverb.
“…What?”
Of course that’s my reaction.
It doesn’t make sense.
Even I don’t get it.
“No, no, no, no… calm down, okay? Don’t rush things. Is this a Russian joke? It’s a joke, right? Haha… modern jokes are wild, nearly gave me a heart attack. Right, Kisaragi?”
“It’s not a joke…”
“Huh?”
“It’s not a joke! My feelings are real!”
With that, she grabbed both of my cheeks.
“Eh? Kisaragi-san… uh… Kisa—ngh!”
Her face came close, and something cut off my words. My mouth was physically sealed.
Yes, she forcibly sealed it with her own mouth.
“Nn—!!”
Bashi bashi bashi!
In this shocking situation, I couldn’t move an inch. She kept my mouth sealed for so long I thought I’d suffocate, my consciousness growing hazy. Finally, I managed to tap her back, signaling my surrender.
“Haa… haa… W-W-What the hell are you doing?”
“A kiss, obviously.”
“That’s not what I mean! I mean, yeah, it was a kiss, but why did you kiss me?”
“Now do you believe me? That I’m serious!”
“That’s terrifying! You’re insane! You just shoved your tongue in there!”
Trembling with shock, I saw Kisaragi tilt her head with a koten.
“M-M… My…”
“Hm?”
“…My first kiss!”
The reality of having my first kiss stolen and being cornered by Sofia Kisaragi overwhelmed me, and I screamed.
“It was my first kiss too, so what’s the big deal?”
“It’s a huge deal! If anything, it’s worse for you! What’s going through your head, you stalker?!”
“…What?! I’m not a stalker!”
“Says who?!”
“The mouth that just kissed you… po.”
“Don’t say po! Why’re you acting all cute?! No matter how you look at it, you’ve been stalking me for the past month!”
Seizing the moment, I listed all her stalking behaviors.
In the school building, in front of the boys’ restroom, the changing room, the shoe lockers, on my way home, at my part-time job, at the park, etc…
“Kisaragi, got anything to say for yourself?”
Exhausted from shouting, I’d calmed down enough to be rational.
“A stalker is someone who, driven by resentment, grudges, or sexual excitement, follows and torments their target!”
She’s got a point.
“And that doesn’t apply to me!”
I’m scared to hear what comes next.
“W-What’s your basis?”
“Because I love you.”
“THAT MAKES YOU A STALKER DOESN’T IT?!”
What even is she?
“Fufu! …Well, technically, it’s a bit different.”
“Different how!?”
“I’m after your body.”
With that, she bit my neck.
“GYAAAAA!”
Caught off guard, I reacted late, but I managed to pry her off and…
I ran!
I ran at full speed!
I ran so fast even track athletes would be shocked!
“Haa… haa… That girl… she’s totally a stalker!”
On this day, with the pleasant spring breeze and the orange glow illuminating everything around,
I had my first kiss stolen.
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