The Blonde Saint Only Makes Strange Noises In Front Of Me, What Should I Do? - Episode 20: "I Like It The Way It Is For Now...."

Episode 20: “I Like It The Way It Is For Now….”

We spent our fifth period in a daze, holding hands on an empty rooftop. We didn’t have anything to talk about, and I just felt embarrassed and at ease with our joined hands.

It must have been about ten minutes later. Sana suddenly whispered to me.

“Oh, by the way, when I was absent from class, no one would show me notes anymore …I wonder what to do. Well, even if there were no notes to begin with, I think my test would still go just fine.”

As expected of the academy’s Saint-sama, she was different. I can’t even get through a test without my notes.

“Sato can lend you his notebook.”

“Sato-kun? Oh, that girly boy you were talking to yesterday?”

What I’ve been told now was even worse than a shota. If he heard it, he’d be hurt.

“Yeah. He doesn’t have any friends either.”

“What? That’s just like me.”

Sana chuckled as she said this. It was typical of her that she was secretly self-deprecating.

The three of us often hang out together with this guy Sandou and a good friend of mine named Kazuharu in Class A.

“Yeah….”

We were just talking about Zato, so the timing seemed right. I decided to bring up what I had been talking about with everyone at lunchtime today.

“If Sana doesn’t mind, why don’t you spend some time with us at….? Maybe during lunch, break, or after school.”

I asked, feeling the warmth of her palm and putting a little more pressure on my hand.

“Kaoru-kun….”

Sana looked at me and her expression lit up for a moment, but she quickly raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

“I’m flattered, but I’ll pass. I’m going to get you guys in trouble.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Yes, that’s how it is. I’m sure they’ll harass you.”

I knew it, I thought, and I was convinced of the real reason why Sana was looking so lonely.

Sana was alone by her own will. She chooses to be alone in order not to bother the people around her, and in order to prevent the escalator group from attacking anyone but her. That’s exactly what I thought she would do.

She had tasted loneliness through the wall for so long, and now that she was free from the wall, she wanted to taste loneliness again?

“Aside from Kaoru-kun,  I don’t want to bother Sato-kun and this boy named Kazuharu.”

“Wait a minute. Why is it okay with me?”

“You’re ….kind of immune to harassment, aren’t you?”

“What’s that? That’s terrible.”

We laugh at each other.

I wonder if it’s because I’m special to Sana that she thinks that way. No, I think she thinks that even if she really harasses me, it won’t work.

In reality, I don’t think they will listen to me regarding every note. Thus, just the other day, they were bullied, with many frogs being put inside the “walls” of their shoeboxes. Even their indoor shoes, might have become completely moist with the frog’s slimy excretions 

Till they stop bullying her, these girls will be continuing to experience these cruelties. Also, if it were me, I would have been alright with most of these actions.

However, I’m sure that Sana will be very angry if I’m harassed by ….I think she’s going to yell directly at the people on the wall. I’m not sure what to say, but I have a feeling it’s something like that, and when I think of Sana like that, I start to love her.

“Don’t worry. They’ll be fine.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because they’re my friends.”

“Oh, so because they’re friends of ….Idiot, that means they’re Idiots, too? That’s not good.”

I feel like I’m being made fun of very much. No, she’s definitely making fun of me. Kazuharu is an idiot, but Sato is a decent guy, maybe. He’s an otaku, though.

“Yeah, they’re Idiots. Especially Kazuharu. Yesterday, he pretended to be gay to protect me, and shouted in the classroom, ‘Even if you play with Saisana, please don’t leave me!’ So all the talk about me and Sana disappeared, and everyone was more interested in the BL thing.”

“Uwaa, what’s that? I think he has got a screw loose. In fact, it’s worse than you.”

I love Sana, who pretends to be reluctant, but listens to me in an interesting way. I wish I could talk to her like this forever.

“Right? It’s not good. They’re those kind of guys…. Don’t worry about it. Besides, I just asked them about it, and they’ve already talked about it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“About Sana joining us.”

“What, I don’t have a choice?”

She sighed deliberately, a little dumbfounded.

“There is, but don’t you like it?”

I understand, but I dared to ask her. She shook her head and smiled. It was a very gentle smile, and it made my heart tighten.

“I don’t mind. I’m very happy. I haven’t had a friend in a long time.”

She has been behind a wall for a few years now. She may not even know what a real friend is anymore.

—She has been living a school life that has nothing to do with playing together, fooling around, and having a youthful time…..

“But I wonder if they’d get along with a girl.”

“They don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl.”

“That’s good.”

“Ohh, but I’m a little nervous.”

I thought of Kazuharu’s face. My friend, that tall, handsome, communicative guy.

“What?”

“Kazuharu… he’s really good-looking.”

“What about it?”

“I was worried that …Sana might fall in love with him.”

After I said it, I regretted it. I felt like I was confessing to him. I turned away, my face heating up all at once.

“….I won’t.” Sana says quietly in a really small voice.

“It’s not going to happen.”

Then she squeezes my hand.

I wondered if I could take this as ….her feelings.

I was more than happy to hear her say that, so I gently squeezed her hand back and we looked at each other. I see my reflection in Sana’s blue eyes, and I want to get closer, but I don’t have the courage to get any closer.

I just made a mistake yesterday, and I don’t want to get any closer and say “`budoroguvu~edo~u~o” when we’re in such a good mood. So, I’ll hold back for now. Just being able to hold hands and look at each other head-on like this is progress compared to yesterday.

“Are you bored…?”

“Yeah….”

I talked to her for some reason.

“Do you want to do PIBG again like yesterday?”

There was still a little less than thirty minutes left until the end of the fifth period. I asked Sana if she was bored, but she shook her head.

“PIBG can’t be played with one hand.”

She looked at the hand that was linked between mine and her and smiled mischievously.

“Yep, that’s right…”

In order to play this game, one would have to use both of the hands, so I will have to let go of her hand.

“I like it the way it is for now….”

She said in a small voice.

“I was thinking the same thing.”

When I said this, she leaned over to me. Then, she put her head on my shoulder in a shy manner.

Sana’s citrus scent tickled my nostrils, and my heart raced. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I was going to die. But the thumping of my heart was so comfortable and frustrating at the same time.

I spent the rest of the 30 minutes feeling her scent, her body heat, and a little bit of her weight.