38

“It’s okay. I’ll… forgive you ♡”

The warmth of a person’s skin weighs on my back. A slender and supple arm slipped around my neck.

Slimy, those words eroded my ears and became entangled in my brain.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry. I’ll forgive all your sins… all of them, ♡”

A sweet, sweet whisper was exhaled, accompanied by hot breath. Limbs entwined like snakes all over my body, their abnormal heat palpable even through my clothes. Influenced by this, a small fire lit up from the depths of my body.

“It’s okay now. You’ve atoned enough for your sin of raping someone. You’ve done well so far. You’ve endured a lot of painful and hurtful experiences. Despite all that, you’ve managed to endure it all until now. That’s amazing. You truly are amazing. You’ve faced your sins head-on and atoned for them, so you’re truly praiseworthy. No one else could do what you’ve done. Only you could accomplish this.”

Those were the words I had craved to hear somewhere in my heart.

The fire burned. 

I felt my insides being scorched.

“You’ve worked hard. So, I’ll forgive you. I will forgive your sins. Not anyone else, but me. You deserve to be forgiven. It’s okay to be forgiven. No matter what anyone else says, you will be forgiven because I am forgiving you.”

Gently, as if persuading me, those words were repeated over and over, and the burning bonfire was fed more firewood, increasing its intensity.

“And, it’s not just me who has forgiven you. Everyone else feels the same way. They all said that you’ve atoned enough and that you shouldn’t have to endure any more suffering. They said you should be forgiven, that you should be freed from your pain, and that it was going too far. Even if they didn’t say it out loud, I know that’s what they were thinking.”

The fire blazed. The firewood burned, sending up thick, black smoke. The smoke filled the room of my heart, obscuring my vision.

“So, you are forgiven. I forgive you. Everyone else will forgive you too.”

The black smoke rose.

The burnt soot stuck to me.

The once-white room turned black.

Ah… that’s right…

“You can be at peace now.”

“You don’t have to suffer anymore.”

“Your atonement is over.”

“You don’t have to endure anymore.”

“Because you’ve been forgiven.”

“Come on.”

“That’s why…”

“Let’s do something fun, okay?”

“It’s okay to do fun things now.”

“Because you’ve been forgiven.”

“You’ve atoned for your sins and been forgiven.”

“So, there’s no need to worry about anything else.”

“You can do what you want.”

“You want to have fun, right?”

“It’s okay, right?”

“Let’s have fun together.”

“Like it was.”

“Go back to how it was before.”

“This isn’t your true nature, is it?”

“Remember.”

“Your wish.”

“What you wanted to do.”

“What you longed for.”

“What was the very first thing you desired?”

Ah, yes.

That’s right.

What I wished for, what I wanted to do, what I longed for.

The very first thing I desired.

The thing I wanted more than anything else, even if it meant discarding everything else.

The moment I laid eyes on her, my heart was captivated…

And then.

An uncontrollable dark impulse took over my heart.

That woman—pure as a goddess, innocent as an angel, and filled with compassion like a saint…

—I wanted to violate Nayuta Shirai…

Yes. That’s right. My wish. What I longed for. What I wanted to do. The very first thing I desired.

This was it.

“HaHaHa…”

Laughter.

“Ahaha, AhahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

I laughed aloud.

It had been so long since I last laughed like this. I had forgotten what it felt like.

“That’s a good smile, Kuroda.”

Murasaki, who had been leaning on my back, slipped forward like a snake and hung from my neck, looking at my face…

She showed a smile dyed with pleasure.

It was the same for me.

I could say with certainty that I was smiling just like Murasaki.

“Did you remember?”

There was no need to respond with a question like, “Remember what?”

I understood. I understood everything. This was something I knew better than anyone else.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I… I wanted to violate that woman, Shirai, Nayuta… the prettiest, most beautiful, and gorgeous woman! She was so beautiful, so pure, that she didn’t seem of this world! I wanted to taint her with my own hands! I wanted to mess her up! I wanted to make her filthy! I wanted to turn that immaculate woman pitch black! I didn’t want her to fall into anyone else’s hands! I couldn’t bear the thought of her being defiled by someone else! So, I did it! To make her mine and only mine! I dirtied her for that purpose! For that reason!”

Yes. This is who I am.

I remember that.

“But… even though I thought that… I knew. I understood that I shouldn’t do such a thing. I knew it was wrong and that I had proper common sense.”

“However, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted that woman so badly. So, I resorted to sin. I engaged in unforgivable acts.”

“I regretted it, reflected on it, and thought about atoning for my sins. If I were to be condemned, I would accept it. And so, I endured. I endured whatever was done to me because I knew it was the punishment I deserved.”

But.

“Even that… everything has been forgiven.”

Ah, this was a very clear whisper of the devil.

“Forgiven.”

“Yes. You’ve been forgiven. It’s okay to let it all go now. Your sins have been forgiven. Your time for confession is over. I forgive you, and everyone else has forgiven you too.”

“I’ve been… forgiven.”

“Yes, yes! So… you see?”

“Ah… I guess so…”

“…”

“What

else

can

I

do

now?”

“…”

“You ran away, didn’t you?”

“Ah…”

“Even though I already said this to you many times already..”

“Kuroda is the one at fault.”

“Nayuta-chan is in the right.”

“But well,”

“There’s no problem with that.”

“After all.”

“It went all according to plan ♡”

“It was decided from the beginning that this would happen.”

“But the content was so crappy that I thought I’d be scolded for returning a favor with enmity…”

“It was a trap. A trap to gain a just cause. A trap to make you accept what’s about to happen.”

“I thought you’d be forgiven, and I’d forgive you, too.”

“I pretended to leave the choice to you and let you decide the outcome.”

“Since it’s the result you brought upon yourself, accept it.”

“Isn’t that what you said? Or is it different? Did you never intend to be forgiven? Or did you not say anything at all?”

“If that’s the case, there might still be a chance.”

“But.”

“Now.”

“This ending cannot be stopped.”

“Hmm. For Reina-chan, it’s a happy ending, but for everyone else… it might be a bad ending.”

“So.”

“Let the fun, fun show begin ♡”

39

“Murasaki. Where’s Nayuta…?”

“Reina has put Nayuta-chan to sleep so she won’t interrupt us.”

“I see.”

“It was really difficult to escape from that angel girl and drug her. She used a pretty strong sleeping pill, but… considering it’s Nayuta we’re dealing with, we might not have much time. She’s truly a monster hiding behind an angelic facade.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Nayuta is an angel through and through, inside and out. I’ll kill you, you bastard.”

“Aha♡! Stop it! You’re scary! You’re a hardcore, delusional stalker, and it’s disgusting!”

Murasaki laughed hysterically, leaning against me.

As if admiring a long-lost treasure, Murasaki’s fingers traced my chest, neck, chin, and cheeks.

“The truth is… Reina always had high hopes for you. Reina knew that deep down, there was a tar-like, sticky, filthy, and disgusting emotion smoldering in your heart. You’ve been suppressing it like a fool. Reina always thought that you should just let it all out and feel good about it.”

Murasaki clung to me, pressing against me from head to toe.

“You’ve finally broken.”

With a blissful expression on her face, Murasaki rubbed her lower body against my thighs, moving up and down.

“Come on… You have something you want to do to Reina too, right?”

Although I had thought about doing it, I didn’t think Murasaki was worth doing it with.

But now, it doesn’t matter. There’s no reason to stop, and no reason to hold back.

“Go for it, Kuroda. Show her.”

Something snapped inside me.

I was being consumed. Turning black. Blacker and blacker.

Following my impulses, I grabbed Murasaki by the neck, pulled her away, and slammed her forcefully onto the floor.

“Ugh!”

The sound she made, like a squashed frog, was comical and stirred my sadistic desires.

I mercilessly stomped on Murasaki’s abdomen as she lay on her back.

“Oof!”

Then, I ordered her.

“Take it off.”

“Nooo! ♡”

She immediately refused, twisting her mouth into a smirk, clearly provoking me. What a joke.

I straddled her slender body, grabbed the clothes she was wearing, and violently tore them apart, stripping her of every last piece of fabric.

“Noooo! Pleeease, pleeease, forgive meee! Don’t be so rough ♡♡♡”

Her tone and behavior were obviously mocking, and it irritated me greatly, but I had no intention of stopping.

The mating of monsters.

“Ah… It hurts, it hurts… It feels so good. The ultimate sadistic experience… It hurts so much… It feels so damn good! ! ! !”

A one-sided and violent act, selfishly done only for one’s pleasure. Despite this, Murasaki continued to scream with delight throughout.

◇

Pure white.

Whiter than anyone or anything else.

Whiter than anything in this world.

Everything was white.

So white.

Clean and

Beautiful.

The pinnacle of all creation.

The unique and absolute white.

But,

How can I compete with that?

How can I defile it?

How can I break it?

How can I stain it with my own hands?

Stain it.

Stain it black.

Blacker and blacker.

Darker.

Until it’s pitch-black, capable of devouring everything.

Become a black monster of evil and ugliness that can devour the white monster of absolute light.

Stain it, stain it, stain it.

Stain it black.

Cover everything in black.

And,

Get her at all costs.

◇

“Kyaha! Yes yes! We got a great catch♡”

“What are you looking at?”

“It’s the uncensored amateur JK raw s*x video from earlier! Hehe, I’ll edit this, burn it onto a videotape, and send it to Nayuta-chan.”

“What’s a videotape?”

“Huh? You don’t know??? Have you never heard of an NTR video letter? It’s famous, you know?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Really? Oh well, if you’re curious, you can look it up yourself. Hmm, what should I title this… Maybe ‘Kuro-chan x Reina ♡ First Time Commemoration ♡’? Oh my, that’s so embarrassing! (laughs) But I wonder if this will blow her mind? I can’t wait to see!”

“Ah… That’s something to look forward to.”