The Blond-Haired Blue-Eyed Well-Endowed Carnivores Yandere Creature Wrings Out Sins Like an Almighty Goddess, an Unreasonable Angel, and a Compassionate Holy Saint - 37

I bought flowers. 

A bouquet of white flowers. I didn’t know the name of the flowers, but I was sure they would suit her well. 

I returned home to my room, which was surprisingly neat and tidy, with nothing unnecessary placed on it. It was like a room where white paint had been splattered on a canvas. 

“Nayuta… where are you?” 

I whispered, but there was no reply. 

“I bought you a present. It’s a bouquet of white flowers that I think will suit you. I hope you’ll like it.” 

A present. But the money I used to buy it was probably hers. Nothing was left that belonged to me afterall. Everything was hers. 

“I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for doing something irreparable.” 

I don’t think I had ever properly apologized before. No, not even once. So, I wanted to apologize properly. 

“I’m sorry.” 

It was all my fault. 

I’m a scumbag, a coward, a liar, and the worst kind of person. I know that. I, more than anyone, understand that. 

But, 

I won’t do anything bad anymore. I won’t cause trouble for others. I’ll live an honest life. I won’t lie. 

From now on, I vow to live a proper, sincere, and gentlemanly life. 

I won’t make any more mistakes. I promise not to cause any more trouble. 

So, 

Please, 

“Forgive me.” 

The words slipped out of my mouth unconsciously. 

Is that what I wanted? Is that it? 

Did I want to be forgiven? Did I want her to forgive me? 

Did I want to atone for my sins? 

Wasn’t it enough? Haven’t I suffered enough? Wasn’t it time to end this? 

Did I want to escape from this and go back to how things were? 

No, that can’t be right. Someone like me shouldn’t be forgiven. 

Shouldn’t I spend the rest of my life atoning for my sins, over and over, until the day I die? 

No, did I even do something that warrants that? 

Is it okay to end it like this? 

Do I have to continue living like this forever? 

Is that it? What is it? 

What should I do? 

What should I do? 

How should I live from now on? 

What do I desire? 

What do I want? 

What do I want to become? 

I don’t know. 

I don’t know anything. 

Is it that I can’t be forgiven, or that I don’t want to be forgiven? Do I want to be freed, or do I not want to be freed? Do I want this to end, or do I not want it to end? 

I don’t know. 

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. 

Ah, someone. 

Anyone. 

Please, tell me. 

What should I do…?