The Beautiful Girl Who Asked Me to Pretend to Be Her Boyfriend Didn’t Want to Break up With Me for Some Reason - Chapter 38

After feeding Shirafuji some porridge, I had her take the usual medicine and let her rest on the futon, now with an ice pillow.

Since it was just the beginning of her illness, it could still worsen.

To ensure I didn’t miss any signs of that, I stayed by her side after finishing my breakfast and cleaning up, keeping her company. Before I knew it, Shirafuji had fallen asleep.

“…Well, it’s nothing new.”

It wasn’t the first time Shirafuji had slept in my room.

She’d stayed over many times, and we’ve even slept in the same bed.

I understood that such actions wouldn’t be allowed without a certain level of trust.

I could more or less predict the feelings Shirafuji held for me.

But those feelings, I think, are ambiguous.

Liking someone as a person and liking someone romantically are subtly different.

What Shirafuji feels for me is… probably both.

I can’t say how much of each, but she doesn’t seem to be hiding it.

“What should I do about this, really…”

Shirafuji and I are fake lovers.

We’ve agreed that our relationship will end if one of us falls for someone else.

Since neither of us can read minds, no matter what we’re thinking internally, as long as we maintain appearances, the relationship can continue.

…This really has become such a complicated situation.

If I were honest about my feelings, my relationship with Shirafuji might end.

Of course, there’s a chance it could evolve into something real, but—

“…I’m just weak, aren’t I? If I told Shirafuji, she probably wouldn’t reject me. But I can’t. As long as I’m stuck thinking this way, I can’t make it real.”

Only those who act honestly with their feelings can grasp happiness.

That’s why my place, as someone who continues to feign ignorance of his feelings, is undeserved.

Right now, all I can do is watch over the sick princess at her side.

“Sorry, Shirafuji. Just wait a little longer. I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long.”

Later that day, around evening, I stayed close to Shirafuji after returning from a quick shopping trip. She had continued to sleep through the afternoon, but I noticed her starting to stir uncomfortably beside me.

When I reached out to hold her hand, hoping to calm her down, she suddenly sat up with a muffled scream.

“Shirafuji!”

I panicked and rubbed her back, trying to help her regain her composure by meeting her eyes.

She looked back at me, but her focus seemed off.

Was she in a delirious state?

Her breathing was erratic, her body trembled, and a deep unease emanated from her.

She must have had a nightmare.

I’ve heard that when you’re unwell, you’re more prone to bad dreams.

“It’s okay. I’m here. Let’s calm down and focus on your breathing.”

I spoke gently to reassure her, and though she nodded awkwardly, she began to follow my lead as I guided her breathing.

“Inhale… exhale. Again, inhale… and exhale.”

Once she seemed to regain some clarity, she whispered, “…I’m okay now.”

Her voice was weak and unconvincing, but I didn’t point that out.

I had no intention of leaving her side just yet.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“…A little, about my family.”

Hearing that stung my chest.

It hit me again that Shirafuji categorized her dreams about her family as nightmares because she had no place to belong there.

“…Or rather, I’m okay now, so could you… let go?”

“Wait, was I being overbearing?”

“No, that’s not it… I just… sweated a lot, and, um, I’d rather not be touched too much right now.”

“I don’t mind, though.”

“But I do! …It’s embarrassing, you know.”

She looked away, speaking bashfully. With a slight sense of relief, I let go of her hand.

Her back had indeed felt damp earlier, and sweat clung to her forehead and neck. But since she was sick, that was normal—I didn’t think it was gross or anything.

Still, it was amusing that she was embarrassed about her sweat but not about the times we’d shared a bed or the occasional accidental glimpse of her underwear.

The line of what embarrassed her was hard to pin down.

Although, from what I know, being seen naked was something she’d find truly mortifying. I really shouldn’t be thinking about that now.

“…Hakuto. Could I borrow your hand again?”

“Of course.”

I readily offered my hand, which Shirafuji weakly grasped.

The faint strength in her grip reflected just how emotionally drained she was.

It felt like if I weren’t here, she might disappear.

Resolving to never take my eyes off her, I etched that promise into my heart once more.

“…Can I talk about the dream, just a little?”

“If you’re okay with that.”

“Hakuto, you already know everything about me anyway. And besides, it was just a dream. …Though, to say it’s ‘just a dream’ after how much it shook me emotionally might be nothing more than a brave front.”

She gave a self-deprecating chuckle and cleared her throat softly.

“As expected, the dream reflected reality. After Mother passed away, my father lost interest in me, and my new mother constantly berated me. I had no place in the house, so I was left alone in a dark space. But in the dream, there was one hand reaching out to pull me out of that darkness. When I tried to grasp it, my new mother transformed into some horror-like monster and started chasing me. That’s when…”

“…That’s a story no one could laugh at.”

“For someone who dislikes horror, my dreams sure do have bad taste. Having my family show up, well, that much makes sense. It fits the theme of a nightmare. But… the hand that tried to save me… I think it might’ve been yours, Hakuto. Since you were holding my hand when I woke up.”

“Ah… yeah. You looked like you were having a rough time, so I figured I’d at least hold your hand.”

“Without that hand, I probably wouldn’t have even thought to escape in the dream. It was warm, firm, and big… It really gave me peace of mind, you know?”

She chuckled softly, her eyes narrowing as she smiled.

Then, she wrapped my hand in both of hers.

The usual coolness of her touch had been replaced by a faint warmth that radiated through my skin.

“…By the way, how’s your condition?”

“It doesn’t seem to have improved much. I might even be worse than I was this morning. Oh, what time is it now?”

“It’s evening. I was just about to start thinking about dinner. Should I get a thermometer?”

“Yes, please. And a towel, if possible. The sweat’s starting to feel uncomfortable.”

“Got it. Do you want to change clothes as well?”

“…If you could bring my bag, that would be enough.”

After all, I am a lady.