The Banished Black Swordsman Wants a Peaceful Life with the White Saint in the Frontier ~Huh? You Want Him to Come Back with the Saint? It’s Already Too Late~ - 53

Chapter 53: Saying Another Man’s Name in Her Sleep

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

The depths of night still lingered in the corner of the bed, while pale morning light softly washed over the knots in the wooden wall. Though there was a chill in the air, only his back felt unnaturally warm. There was the familiar weight there, the small touch of a forehead, the faint sensation of fingertips. While she slept, she almost always pressed herself against his back.

Lloyd held his breath and quietly turned over. He chose an angle that would not make the bedding rustle and slipped his arm out from beneath the pillow. Right in front of him was the same sleeping face as always. A single lock of silvery-white hair brushed her cheek, swaying slightly with each breath. Her long eyelashes cast gentle shadows, and her pale lips were parted just enough for her steady breathing to escape.

…She’s cute.

The words he should not have thought rose helplessly inside his chest.

There was no longer any reason left to deny it. Until now, he had kept telling himself she was someone he had to protect. Because she was a Saint, because she relied on him, because she had nowhere else to go… There had been any number of reasons. But living together like this, greeting morning after morning side by side… More and more often, his heart moved before those reasons ever could.

With his fingertips, he gently brushed the hair away from her cheek. A beat later, Lusha’s brows knit slightly. As if shielding herself from something in her dream, her slender fingers groped along the edge of the bed, and in the next moment, a small tear spilled from the corner of her eye.

“Elliot… Please, stay safe…”

It was far too clear to be dismissed as mere sleep-talking. At the sound of the name, Lloyd’s heart gave a single, violent thud.

Elliot…?

He had never heard that name before. But he could guess who it was. The man who had taken Lusha out of the church’s underground prison. It was him. Because Lusha’s oracles contradicted the church’s will, they had branded her a “False Saint” and tried to purge her. But he believed in Lusha and helped her escape the underground cell, without regard for his own life.

If that man had not existed, Lusha would not be here now. No. She likely would not even be alive. That man’s presence had always lingered somewhere in the corner of Lloyd’s mind. Even so, he had deliberately avoided thinking about it. Because the present was too warm, too happy. He felt that if he thought about it, this fragile peace would break apart.

If that man was still alive. If somewhere, he was praying for her safety…. Lloyd could not help but think such thoughts. After all, she was someone he had defied the church and risked his life to protect. Surely she belonged beside him far more than beside the descendant of some cursed clan like him.

The moment that thought crossed his mind, a cold weight dropped into his stomach.

What am I even doing?

He withdrew his hand from her hair and let his gaze flee to the ceiling. The wood grain felt strangely distant, its lines wavering before his eyes. The warmth at his back suddenly felt heavier. Was this something he was allowed to take?No, he had known the answer from the start. With something like the 〈Malice Glyph〉 in his body, liable to go berserk at any moment—and on top of that, having been expelled from the Hero’s party—there was no way a shadow-dweller like him belonged at the side of a Saint.

He had only been telling himself that to conceal his feelings.

“Mm… Aah…”

Her soft breathing shifted, and Lusha’s eyelids fluttered open. Their eyes met. She blinked once in surprise, then smiled gently. It was the same smile she always showed first thing in the morning.

“…Good morning, Lloyd.”

“Yeah. …Good morning.”

His mouth moved, but his voice felt like cold water even to himself.

“Hm…?”

Sensing something off in Lloyd’s demeanor, Lusha tilted her head. That small silence shaped like a question. Unable to endure it, Lloyd looked away. He sat up from the bed, stirred the ashes left in the fire shelf, and rekindled the morning fire. Dry firewood crackled, sending small sparks jumping into the air.

In the meantime, Lusha prepared breakfast as she always did. Breakfast was yesterday’s leftover soup mixed with grains, fruit, and herbs. They sat facing each other at the table and ate the breakfast Lusha had made. Normally, they would exchange idle chatter, but today he could not find a single word. Lusha occasionally glanced his way. A look that usually would not bother him pierced him like a thorn today.

“Lloyd…?”

Even when she called him softly, he could not meet her eyes. After a stretch of unbearable silence, she hesitantly spoke.

“Um… Did I perhaps do something to upset you, Lloyd?”

“No, you didn’t do anything.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me? You won’t even look at me…”

“I’m not any different than usual though.”

The reply came out curt. The moment he said it, his throat ached. No. That was not it. He simply did not know how to put it into words. If he did, something would never return to how it was. That vague premonition came first, and in the end, only evasive words slipped out.

“…I see.”

Lusha pressed her lips together and stared down into her wooden bowl.

After that, silence continued. The bottom of her bowl appeared quickly. The fact that she was eating faster than usual was surely his fault. After finishing up and opening the door halfway to cool his head in the outside air, a flutter of wings brushed past above him. A muffled coo echoed. A carrier pigeon with a thin leather leg band settled on the beam above the doorway.

It was the one Cron had given him, saying, “Use this to contact me in an emergency.” Today, it fulfilled that role for the first time. Lloyd removed the small tube from the band and twisted off the cap. When he unfolded the thin paper inside, there were only brief words.

『Urgent. Come to the trading company. Emergency. Details in person.』

It was Cron’s handwriting, no unnecessary embellishments. Had something happened? Or had the church finally discovered Lusha’s whereabouts? Tension ran up Lloyd’s spine.

“…It’s from Cron. Seems like there’s an emergency.”

When he went back inside and told her, Lusha immediately stood, her face clouded with concern.

“An emergency? Does it say what about?”

“No. It might be something involving the church.”

They quickly prepared and went outside. They checked the condition of the wagon and efficiently fastened the harness. Lloyd took hold of the reins and climbed onto the driver’s seat. A small sound came from the cargo bed. Lusha had likely sat down in her usual spot. Suddenly, the warmth of the bed that morning and the echo of her sleep-talking overlapped in his mind, and he clenched his back teeth.

The wheels creaked as they passed through the abandoned village. The winter light was weak, the shadows of the trees long. On days like this, he would normally spot birds flitting past, but today he did not even try to look. The wind stung his cheeks, his fingertips grew cold, yet he could not bring himself to adjust his gloves.

Behind him, he felt a soft breath shift. A breath of air as if she wanted to say something. But Lusha did not put it into words. Neither could he turn around. If he did, that smile would be there. There would be a question. Words that would break something would surely reach his throat.

That was how it felt.

Calm down. This isn’t the time for that.

He told himself so. Yet in the corner of his mind, her sleep-talking kept resurfacing. He did not know Elliot’s face. Nor his voice. But one thing was certain, he was someone precious to Lusha. Praying for the safety of the person who saved your life was only natural. And yet… The fact that he could not even accept that made his own heart seem unbearably ugly.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー