That Half-Finished Drink Was Lethal— What Happened When I Left My Bottle Behind in a 1:4 Male-to-Female World - 13

Chapter 13: That Fragrance Is Lethal—Addiction, Madness, and Then Confinement

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At that moment, all sound vanished from the world. With my forehead pressed against the cold flooring, I was being scorched by a hideous, tremendous throbbing, as if my very heart were surging up into my throat. At the edge of my vision, the kitten Yuki-chan, who had been bouncing around energetically until a moment ago, was staring at me inquisitively.

“…Yuu-kun. The truth is… I am not the respectable person you think I am. Being capable at work, being beyond reproach… All of that is just a mask.”

My trembling voice echoed hollowly through the silenced living room. I put every sin I had committed into words, as if vomiting them out.

“…Calling you today because Yuki-chan was unwell was a lie. Yuki-chan is perfectly fine. It was just a pretext to lure you here. …And besides…”

(…No. I can’t say it. Once I say it, it’s over; I’ll never be able to stand beside this person again. But I have to. Before this accumulation of ‘lies’ turns me into a monster.)

“Besides what?”

Yuu-kun’s voice felt somewhat cold.

“…………I… I have been stealing your… your freshly worn underwear for a long time. I enshrined them on a household altar, and every single day… I smelled them… If I didn’t, I couldn’t even take a single step outside or do my job. I’m just a pervert…!”

A confession. It was a self-destructive act of shattering the perfect idol known as “Asami Rin,” which I had desperately built up until now, with my own hands.

《Rin Asami. Hidden beneath that pristine mask was a parasitic instinct called dependency, using the “lingering scent” of a specific male as life-sustaining energy. The higher the social status, the deeper the darkness, tinged with a sticky poison.》

I would be despised. I would be rejected. He would look at me like trash and hand me over to the police. The coldness of the floor froze my heart as I awaited the judgment I had brought upon myself.

But what returned was—silence. A deathly stillness that felt like seconds, or perhaps minutes.

“…Ngh. …I’m sorry. …I’m going to leave for today.”

Yuu-kun’s voice was terribly hoarse. I couldn’t tell if it was from disgust or the reaction of a human swallowed by a muddy stream of information they couldn’t process. I couldn’t lift my face. I only heard his footsteps heading toward the entrance, and the heavy sound of the door closing echoed as if it were cutting my heart in two. I was left behind, alone.

Glancing down, I saw that the “Nouveau” he had been wearing until just moments ago remained in my breast pocket. In his confusion, he had left even without remembering to reclaim it. I collapsed on the spot and let out a beast-like wail.

◇◇◇◇

The three days following that were a literal hell. There was no word from Yuu-kun. I had neither the courage to send a RINE nor the right to chase after him. My daily life, which should have been perfect, was collapsing with a roar. At the office, everyone looked at me with concern.

“Asami-san, you seriously look pale! The numbers in yesterday’s presentation materials were fatally off! Ah, hello? Darling? Let’s meet at Les Ailes today!”

The words of my junior pierced through me like sharp blades.

(…The numbers are off? Ah, I see. Because my world has already lost its center and become distorted. There is no way I can perform calculations correctly.)

Lunch break. I headed to a drugstore as if fleeing. The fabric softener Yuu-kun used. The coffee beans he liked to drink. I bought up every perfume and air freshener that smelled like them and scattered them around my home until I was practically bathed in them.

“…No. Not this. …This is just chemicals…!!”

The bottles I threw at the floor shattered, and an artificial scent filled the room hollowly. I looked at the “altar” sitting in the back of the closet. I repeatedly reached to press the stolen fabric against my nose, only to stop myself. I repeated this cycle over and over.

Fear. Despair.

Yuu-kun hated me. He thought I was creepy. I would never be able to see that dazzling smile again. Would the police come tomorrow? Or would I simply remain out of contact, withering away in this void until I died? In the end, I picked up the stolen underwear.

(…If I inhale this. If I inhale this, I can become ‘Asami Rin’ again. I can charge my withered energy and fight tomorrow with a smile…)

My throat tightened. My instincts throbbed violently, seeking that crystallization of life force… But as I started to reach out, I thrust it away with a wave of nausea.

(No. If I inhale this, I’m truly… finished. After telling Yuu-kun everything and hurting his heart like that, to still… try to linger on by snatching away fragments of him…!)

If I inhaled this now, I would turn even the “sincerity” I had shown Yuu-kun into a mere tool for my addiction.

“…Yuu-kun. …I can’t go on. …Just… kill me…”

From eyes that should have been dried up, another tear overflowed. I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t touch him. I might not even be allowed to call him “Yuu-kun” ever again.

Every time I imagined that, every cell in my body screamed in terror. My identity was a moon that could only shine by reflecting him, my sun. Under a sky where the sun had vanished, I had turned into nothing more than a cold, dark rock.

It was then…. By my pillow, the smartphone gave a short, sharp “Ping!” I pounced on it to see the screen. My heart leapt so hard it felt like it would explode.

『Yuu: Do you have time this Wednesday?』

『Yuu: I have something to talk to you about.』

My vision flashed white. Not enough oxygen. My lungs wouldn’t work properly. My fingertips shook so much I couldn’t type properly.

『Rin: I understand. I’ll be waiting on Wednesday.』

I sent the reply immediately and hugged the smartphone to my chest. What could “something to talk about” be? A formal declaration of severance? Or perhaps a final blow delivered with contempt? No matter the result. Even if today were to be the last day of my life.

At the very least, I wanted to be the best version of myself that I could show to Yuu-kun.

For the few days until Wednesday, I polished myself like a madwoman. Without food passing my throat, I prepared my skin, chose my clothes, and remade my room into a pure space to beg for his forgiveness.

I cleared out everything from the altar in the closet. Only one thing. The “Nouveau” he had forgotten held heat at my fingertips, like a key waiting for the final judgment.

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Wednesday evening. Outside, a fine mist, much like that day, quietly erased the city’s hustle and bustle. The moment the doorbell rang, my spirit vibrated beyond its limit, like a tensed string.

“…A… ah.”

When I opened the door, there he stood, just as he had a few days ago—the man with those straightforward, somewhat good-natured eyes—Yuu Yuuki. The man who should have called me a “monster,” despised me, and handed me over to the police.

“…Rin-san. I’m sorry to bother you so late.”

“…Welcome, Yuu-kun. …Please, come in.”

Just hearing that voice made the back of my throat burn and my vision blur. He sat in the living room. I headed to the kitchen to brew tea, but my hands shook so much I couldn’t even grab the handle of the teacup. The sound of porcelain clacking together highlighted my current absurdity. In the end, I could only stand there at a distance from him, carrying nothing.

“…Rin-san. Um, honestly, after hearing that story the other day, I thought many times that this might be something I can’t handle.”

Thump. My heart leapt and then froze.

(Ah, as I thought. It’s over. My life is finished. …’Can’t handle.’ That is a declaration that my existence is a ‘monster’ beyond his comprehension, something he doesn’t even want to be involved with. Goodbye, my love. No, my life itself…)

“…To think a perfect person like Rin-san would do something like that with my underwear. …How should I put it, it’s chilling… and it was far beyond anything I imagined. I didn’t know what the right answer was.”

(Chilling… That’s right. A woman who enshrines underwear on an altar is bound to be creepy. …I’m sorry, Yuu-kun. Please, just kill me…!)

My vision rapidly lost color, and the back of my throat burned. “Chilling,” “don’t know the right answer”—these were the echoes of a rejection that implied wanting to leave me to the “police” or a “psychiatrist.”I closed my eyes deeply, very deeply, as if waiting for the flame of my life to go out.

“But…”

That conjunction shook my frozen world violently.

“I won’t come to hate you or despise you. …It’s just, it made me very sad to see Rin-san pressing her forehead against the floor like that. That a wonderful person like Rin-san feels she has to humble herself so much.”

“…Yuu-kun, …Yuu-kun…!”

Just calling his name made the tears I had been holding back overflow.

(Ah, there is one person in the world. A human being trying to accept a pervert like me is standing before my eyes. God, I… what should I do…!)

“So, Rin-san, please cheer up. Please go back to the usual Rin-san.”

Yuu-kun gave a troubled smile as he pulled a “jacket” out of a paper bag.

“Instead, here. This is the jacket I was wearing until yesterday. I brought it without washing it… oh, is that unhygienic? But I thought maybe this is the kind of thing Rin-san needs. I’ll lend this to you. Please make do with this for now.”

“…Eh? This…?”

“This way, I thought you might not feel so guilty that way since this is something I ‘lend’ to Rin-san. It’s not something you need to steal.  …. If your battery runs out, please use this to recharge.”

Yuu-kun stood up and slowly walked over to my side. Then, those large hands gently draped the jacket over my slender shoulders.

(-!!)

At that moment. The intense body heat remaining in the fabric and a scent even more concentrated than that “Nouveau,” overflowing with life force, overran every cell in my body. My lungs, my brain, my skin—everything was forcibly overwritten by the potent drug that was Yuu Yuuki.

“A-Ah, aah… aaaaaah…!!”

My vision exploded into white. An amount of energy exceeding a lethal dose was poured into my withered spirit. An overwhelming euphoria and a perverted sense of fulfillment from being “accepted” by him.

(–H-hic… ah… aah…! I am forgiven… He… he has accepted the other me inside me…!!)

Strength left my knees, and I collapsed at his feet right then and there. My entire body shook violently, and an electric current ran through my spinal cord. Even though I was right in front of Yuu-kun, I couldn’t suppress the pleasure of being enveloped in his scent.

“Rin-san?! Are you okay?!”

“Ah… aah… it’s… it’s… it’s good, this is… it’s too much…! Nyu… nyuuu…!!”

Twitch, twitch. My body bounced as if in a convulsion. Pressing my face against the jacket, inhaling his scent as if devouring it, my eyes rolled back, and I writhed in agony, heedless of the drool trailing down.

“Yuu-kun… Yuu-kun…! Thank you… ah, truly…! I can still see you from now on, can’t I…? I didn’t have to be thrown away, did I…!?”

I rubbed my cheek against his shin and clung to him. Looking up at him while a mess of tears and sweat, I think a bottomless, dark possessiveness—one that vowed never to let him go for the rest of my life—dwelt in my eyes.

“It’s not good to put it as ‘throwing you away.’ …And don’t call yourself a pervert or a monster. Rin-san is Rin-san.”

Yuu-kun’s hand gently stroked my disheveled hair and my trembling back. That sensation fanned my heat even further. He didn’t hate me. I could still be by his side. More importantly, he had given me a treasure of his “personal property” of his own will.

(Ah, I have no one but this person now. I want to dedicate my entire life to this far too kind sun, suck him dry, and eventually melt away together.)

“…Yuu-kun. …I will never… I will never return this. …You, for the rest of my life… Yuu-kun. …My… my god…!”

I hugged the collar of the jacket as if biting into it, and in the height of ecstasy, my body shook violently once more.

“Oh, but please return the underwear.”

“……………….. (Eh?)”

“Or rather, please stop enshrining the underwear. I’m not a god, after all.”

After that, following some light conversation and playing with the kitten Yuki-chan, Yuu-kun went home. He completely forgot to reclaim the underwear.  The distinct weight of that fresh, “just-worn” item hidden in my breast pocket.

(To forget to reclaim the Nouveau… Yuu-kun really is a sinful person. Hehe, hehehehe…!)

Wrapped in the jacket, I was driven by an urge to turn all the air in my room into Yuu-kun’s scent. I immersed myself in a maddening joy.

◇◇◇

The silence after Yuu’s departure. She was in the middle of “officially” wearing the jacket he had bestowed upon her, rapidly recharging with the energy known as his scent. However, that peace was brutally slashed by the smartphone screen glowing at her bedside. What was displayed on the screen was a live stream by a certain streamer.

『Oh, that’s right. I’m uploading a new video tomorrow night. The title is ‘Undressing My Devoted Pet Dog’… just kidding. Kehyahya! It’s a joke, Yuu. Don’t… Don’t look so troubled with that cute face!』

The highlights vanished from her eyes. Through the screen, she heard Yuu’s bewildered breathing. The woman’s distorted, filthy desires. And the numerous viewers swarming around it.

“…Ah, I see. So that’s how it is.”

She muttered, not to anyone in particular.

“…As I thought, I have to protect him. I have to save him from such a filthy world. I wonder if there are any large home improvement centers open until late at night. Soundproofing panels, blackout curtains, and padlocks…”

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