Virgin Knight Who Is the Frontier Lord in the Gender Switched World - Chapter 181

This Valiere is far beyond surprise or despair now.

Faust had shown his fury before, but never to this extent.

If he had completed his logical preparations, even Sabine, who would not back down, was overwhelmed and completely silenced.

“Well, fine. I won’t say it doesn’t matter. I shall personally question Pope Yulia.”

Faust managed to temporarily suppress his anger.

—Or rather, it might have deepened.

He turned to me, still simmering like a witch’s cauldron, bubbling with tension.

“My visit here was not due to such personal anger. I must accomplish the original purpose of my visit to Lady Val.”

Faust, I’ve been wondering about something.

Like Sabine and the others, let’s stop using weird nicknames like Lady Val.

Well, it’s pretty bad that you’re still calling her ‘Highness’ even though you’re engaged and haven’t called her by name before.

“Lady Val. I came to you because I was worried about the terrible things you might suffer, thinking you might be having a hard time.”

—Faust momentarily closed his sharp red eyes, then was silent beneath his eyelids.

“Probably because you are who you are. You’re likely to face hardships.”

He quietly stated the situation.

Yes, Faust is probably right.

Without overthinking it, I could have put down all my burdens and stepped off this journey.

But that choice would be painful for me.

“Faust. Earlier, you affirmed Sabine’s actions as correct if you were in her position.”

“Yes, I truly believe that.”

Faust is simple, not articulate, and sometimes beyond imagination.

But at least now, he was calm.

“Lady Sabine thinks if Lady Val is happy, nothing else matters, and she has no intention of taking more responsibility than she promised. I have no right to unilaterally blame her.”

Yes, that’s right.

And if you have no intention of blaming Sabine, it should be the same for me.

“And of course, I have no right to blame Lady Val for anything. As far as I know, there is absolutely no responsibility to do so.”

Who can blame a highness?

This Faust, of course, Empress Anastasia and Duchess Astarte.

Queen Liesenlotte of Anhalt and all those involved in this journey.

Including those who will become knights and soldiers of Anhalt from now on.

“Lady Amelia von Berlichingen and the clergy of the Cologne Sect, who Sabine told to abandon, and the mercenaries who gained nothing from this journey, and those who had vain dreams about you. None of them have the right to blame Lady Val.”

Those vain people just had selfish dreams.

No matter how they may sneer, it’s meaningless.

Everyone knows it.

“Valiere von Anhalt has faithfully fulfilled her duties, and you have nothing to be blamed for. At least, Faust von Polydoro, the advisor to the Second Princess, thinks so.”

The lord knight in front of me, a devoted knight of the Cologne Sect, said so.

I can abandon them.

It’s fine to abandon those who are not my responsibility.

“…”

I remain silent.

You have no responsibility.

It’s an unavoidable situation, so it’s fine to abandon it.

That’s not what I wanted to hear.

I would have preferred something more scathing.

“I think so, of course, but I understand if Lady Val doesn’t see it that way.”

Faust continued to speak.

But then.

He seemed to bite his tongue and stopped speaking.

“—Well, something like that.”

Suddenly stammering, Faust returned to his usual straightforward, inarticulate self.

“I meant to say many things. Right now, Lady Val, you may not be aware of what’s happening. There’s so little time to convey the complex situation in the capital, through Martina, what Empress Anastasia and Duchess Astarte would like you to do right now.”

The deep anger towards the heresy trial conducted by the Pope.

As a lord knight, as an advisor to the Second Princess, forgetting my position.

Trying to weave words sincerely, as a knight to my lord.

“If I could tell you all the circumstances here and now, I think I could give Lady Val the push she needs. Knowing everything, Lady Val would make her resolution. You would choose to fight Archbishop of Mainz. As a member of the Anhalt royal family, you would make every effort.”

But I think the chances of defeat are high.

Just a sense of duty won’t be enough to win against the Archbishop of Mainz.

He doesn’t have the fervor required to burn the Archbishop alive.

He murmured softly, looking at me.

“If Lady Val must fight, then I, Faust, as her knight, intend to move towards the higher odds of victory.”

A little, my simple mind doesn’t quite understand what Faust is saying.

But there was no chance that my knight would say anything against me.

“Your Highness’s thoughts must be like this. There’s a desperate disparity in strength before us, even if Archbishop of Mainz has the righteous cause of declaring the Cologne Sect heretical, and the arrest orders for Lord Berlichingen are sanctioned by the Pope and Emperor. If so, if resistance is necessary, there’s no way but violence. But”

Yes.

If we are to fight and lose, then we should not fight.

“What I lead are pitiful paupers, and though called a mercenary band, we’re poorly equipped, with guns but few in armor, just a few black knights at best. We could always win against bandits. But against the Archbishop of Mainz’s monastic knights, we would surely die miserably. Losing is inevitable.”

If Archbishop of Mainz was only seeking my arrest, that would have been fine.

If I was to be hanged for gathering forces on the journey to the capital, being held responsible, it would have been fine to be killed quietly after hurling insults.

But it was different.

Archbishop of Mainz’s target was, temporarily, Lord Berlichingen and others.

“At the very least, let’s try to move in a positive direction. Negotiate desperately with the Archbishop of Mainz—bluff, flatter, do whatever it takes to persuade them not to kill the clergy of the Cologne Sect. Disband any unnecessary forces brought from Anhalt, distribute the conscripted supplies from the feudal lords to everyone, and try to brighten their future just a little. Perhaps even find a way to defend Lord Berlichingen.”

That’s right.

Faust had understood everything I was thinking.

All my feeble and vain thoughts were laid bare.

So, let me be clear.

“If you understand all that, then so be it! There’s nothing more I can do.”

I confessed my weakness to my fiancé.

There was a single heavy breath.

It seemed like a sigh from Faust.

“My lord is under a tremendous misconception. In this world, there are times when it’s better to die than to not resist.”

My fiancé didn’t respond directly. Instead, as a lone knight, he uttered harsh words.

Words I had faintly understood.

“These bottom-dwellers who cling to you, receiving a bit of wages or supplies, breaking here means nothing. They’ll end up wasting it all on drunkenness. The mercenary band will return to a life half-mercenary, half-bandit. The illiterate and innumerate poor will just revert to their former lives. Maybe that’s just how it should be. It’s their responsibility.”

I understood what would become of them.

“They will return to their impoverished lives, lamenting, ‘Nothing has changed after all. Our lives were a lie, that’s all they were.'”

Yes, they’ll just return to their former lives.

However, there’s one thing I feel responsible for.

“And sometimes, as if remembering, they’ll mutter, ‘But that was a good dream. It was really good to have joined Lady Valiere’s march. Well, it was just a dream.'”

Yes, that’s how it will be.

I understand my own guilt.

No one questions it, but I understand my sense of guilt.

I showed them a dream once, knowing from the start that it was unattainable for everyone.

But let me be clear.

“It’s better than dying like this!”

It’s hopeless.

Isn’t it better than being gruesomely killed under the guise of heresy?

“Do you know the saint who was crucified upside down?”

The saint who, fearing execution by association, betrayed his savior and his faith three times.

The coward who denied knowing such a person three times out of fear of being arrested himself.

At the very end, considering it too presumptuous to die in the same manner as his savior, he asked to be crucified upside down.

Ah, certainly, it was probably better for her to die embracing her pride and faith than to betray her loved ones and die in cowardice and misery.

“The women who followed me are not saints. Of course, it’s better for them to live.”

I have no right to force such a thing on them.

I never thought I had such worth.

“If you think so, then you should just ask them. Ask them before the battle with the Archbishop of Mainz if they would still follow you, even to death.”

Maybe they would say they will follow you to the end if it allows them to keep dreaming.

Faust says such outrageous things.

“Lady Valiere von Anhalt, do you remember the girl who died protecting you in your first battle?”

“Of course I remember.”

Next, he mentioned Hanna, who had died protecting me in my first battle.

I could never forget.

I will never forget.

“By now, you should understand that a lowly person like me clings to the kindness received. This is sometimes called sentiment. Lady Val, knowing that my lord will never forget us, where is the fear in dying?”

I was close to tears.

The words Faust had been saying.

“Faust, stop. Please.”

Everyone has their reasons. My subordinates think it’s okay to die by my decision.

And if I truly considered my subordinates, I should command them to die here.

I didn’t want to hear such horrible things.

I wanted to cover my ears.

But Faust stepped forward and gently held both my hands.

“Even though you are mistaken. Lady Valiere, you still do not understand why you were deemed unsuitable as a successor to the Anhalt royal family. Why you were deemed unsuitable by Queen Liesenlotte to lead and provide reassurance and governance as someone who unites people.”

I couldn’t cover my ears anymore.

“You’re terribly bad at cutting losses. You can’t let go. At the critical moment, you can’t sacrifice us knights, soldiers, and citizens as necessary casualties and just end it there. You think everyone who came on this journey should be happy.”

Yes, I am mediocre, fragile, cowardly, and I can’t do such things.

For my subordinates, at least for these children, I think I should be strong, at least for my own people.

But ultimately, Valiere’s nature doesn’t change.

“In tough times, you think if you can manage by taking the loss yourself, then that’s okay.”

If that’s enough, then it’s okay sometimes.

“Understand this, Lady Val. You are terribly mistaken, and I will say it clearly again and again. It’s an insult to us, your subordinates!”

But Faust wouldn’t accept that.

“Lady Hanna, who died in your first battle, Lady Sabine here, and I, myself, think this way. When we die, we don’t want you to pity us without understanding our feelings. We have our own wills, we make our own decisions, and even then, we die for you. Deep down, that’s still a good life, we think, having repaid the kindness received!”

Faust gripped my hands tightly.

Of course, not with all his strength, for I could easily tell.

If my fiancé used his full strength, these small hands would be crushed.

“Even if Lady Sabine and I advise you to abandon these people, if you understand everything, can you really do it? Probably not. You couldn’t possibly do it. That’s just who you are.”

Faust shouted at me, pointing out my lack of aptitude as a ruler.

I couldn’t deny it.

I was told I’m not suitable for royalty.

“So, as your lord, command me, your knight.”

At the same time, Faust clearly acknowledged me as his lord.

It seemed terribly contradictory, yet it was not.

“Faust von Polydoro, who came here from the capital to help Your Highness, grant me permission to fight.”

His hands left mine.

Faust knelt on one knee, placing his hand on the knee of his raised right leg, and closed his eyes quietly as if he were about to be knighted.

“Just order me to scatter these 6,000 soldiers quickly, Faust. Then I will take care of everything else.”

As your fiancé, I’ll settle such matters while humming a tune.

At the end, Faust muttered something fitting for a fiancé and sought my decision and command.