Surviving in a World Teeming with Monsters with the Useless Skill 【Everyday Items Master】! I Was Just Hunting Wild Animals with a Crowbar, So Why Is Everyone Screaming It's an S-Rank Monster? - 75

Chapter 75: Welcome to the Ferocious Shark Gang!

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The night after I escaped from Team Ashura, I was standing backstage, completely stiff with nerves.

“Yo, you lot! I called you all here today for one reason and one reason only! We’re welcoming a major player into our very own Ferocious Shark Gang!”

The one delivering this bold proclamation from center stage was Shachimaru—the Kansai-accented, slicked-back, glasses-wearing guy with narrow eyes I’d run into at the bookstore.

Meanwhile, I stood offstage, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, with my hood pulled low to hide my identity, muttering to myself as anxiety gnawed at me.

“Isn’t this welcome party a bit too over the top…?” 

“This is a huge opportunity for us in the Ferocious Shark Gang! We used to be just a bunch of orphans, but this right here is a giant leap toward making our name known throughout the quarantine zone!”

Shachimaru was giving an enthusiastic speech. The gathered members buzzed with anticipation. Down at the front of the stage, the bunny girl Inaba was bouncing up and down, shouting excitedly.

“Tacchaaaaaan!”

“And now, let’s bring him out! Due to certain circumstances, his identity remains unknown! But his strength is the real deal! At the very least, he’s the strongest person I know!”

Hearing the hype, I shook my head furiously backstage.

Shachimaru, you’re overselling me way too much! Why am I being introduced like some kind of martial arts powerhouse!?

But then Luna gave me a firm push forward.

“Onii-sama! Have confidence!” 

And so, I stumbled out onto the stage.

“Here he is! The mysterious new recruit makes his entrance!”

Shachimaru declared grandly. I made a weird sort of entrance, barely managing not to trip as I walked onto the stage. A hush fell over the crowd. I took the mic from Shachimaru. Due to various reasons, I had no choice but to keep my identity hidden, so I addressed the crowd with a nervous stammer.

“U-uh, I’m… T~. Nice to meet you…”

My voice came out barely louder than a mosquito’s buzz from the tension. Shachimaru quickly fanned the crowd with his hand, and a smattering of applause followed. From among them, a voice muttered.

“…No way you can pull off the ‘mysterious newcomer’ thing with that total lack of presence…”

The soft comment carried surprisingly well in the quiet venue, and the speaker immediately looked like they regretted saying it.

“Tacchaaaan! Come on, guys! Let me hear your voice nice and loud for Tacchaaaaaaaaan!”

Only Inaba kept cheering, hopping up and down with her bunny ears and cleavage jiggling as she supported me. All I wanted at that moment was to throw everything aside and run away.

Let’s rewind time to the late night of the day before…

“WHOOOAAAHHH!? Damn, that scared the hell outta me! What the hell, Inaba, huh!? Crowbar Bro and Ojou-chan!?”

I had been rescued by Inaba, and the teleportation spell had taken us to Shachimaru, who was relaxing in bed with a nightcap on. Shachimaru had a knack for giving loud, animated reactions, but I didn’t have the energy to reply with any kind of clever remark. After all, I’d been shot in the thigh. Blood was gushing out—maybe an artery had been hit.

I ended up passing out and didn’t wake up again until the next day. Which meant it was early this morning when I finally regained consciousness.

“Onii-sama!”

“Luna…?”

The moment I opened my eyes, Luna flung herself at me. I reflexively caught her and gently rubbed her back. She looked extremely sleepy. I immediately realized she must’ve stayed by my side all night.

“Onii-sama… I’m so glad you’re okay…”

She mumbled through broken words, then fell asleep just like that, her breathing settling into a peaceful rhythm.

“…Sorry, Luna. I made you worry.”

I gently laid her down and pulled back the blanket to check my thigh. The gunshot wound was completely gone. Even if I’d received treatment, it was shocking how perfectly it had healed.

It was so flawlessly done that I couldn’t help but mutter to myself.

“…Was it all just a dream?”

“Yo, Crowbar Bro~. Looks like you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?”

“Tacchaaaan! I’m here to see how you were doing~!”

Right at that moment, Shachimaru and Inaba showed up in the hospital room. Shachimaru was neatly dressed, and Inaba was still in her bunny girl outfit.

Yup, not a dream after all.

I thought to myself and decided to start by thanking them.

“Hey, thanks, both of you. I really appreciate it.”

“Nah, don’t mention it. They say you scratch my back, I scratch yours, right? We just helped out you a little, that’s all.”

“I’d already been to that place before, so teleporting back there was a cinch~!”

They both waved off the thanks with bright smiles. You’d never guess these were the same people who once took Luna hostage the first time we met.

“By the way…”

I brought up something that had been on my mind.

“My injury—it’s completely gone, not even a scar. That kind of healing must’ve come at a cost, right…? I didn’t cause any trouble, did I…?”

I asked nervously, and Shachimaru laughed.

“Not at all! Even if we’d hauled in a dead guy, it wouldn’t have been any trouble at all.”

“…Seriously?”

“Crowbar Bro, you really don’t know what things are like these days, huh? I’m not joking.”

According to what he explained, one of Shachimaru’s healer companions had used a skill to treat me.

“Here’s the wild part—healing magic, including resurrection spells and the like, aren’t even that high-tier anymore.”

“No way. That’s surprising.”

“Thanks to that, it’s like, ‘Injured? Dead? Bring ’em on!’—though some folks get pissed when I put it that way. That’s just how much lighter injuries and even death are these days. You wouldn’t have believed it four years ago.”

Shachimaru said it half-jokingly. Then he suddenly switched to a serious tone.

“Alright, let’s get to the point. Crowbar Bro—who did this to you?”

“Yeah, seriously~! Tacchan might not look it, but for someone to mess him up this bad, something’s not right~!”

After thanking them again, I explained everything to the two of them. That we’d ended up handing Luna over to the Ministry of Defense. But the people there were planning to either kill her or do something even worse to Luna. So we decided to run away with Luna. The enemy was strong, but thanks to Inaba’s magic, we barely managed to escape.

“…Hard to believe there’s someone out there strong enough to push Crowbar Bro this far, but… got it.”

Shachimaru gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“In that case, you’re welcome to stay here for a while.”

“Eh? I-Is that really okay? I mean, won’t that be a burden…”

“Of course it’s fine! The Ferocious Shark Gang isn’t gonna fall apart over one or two extra mouths to feed! We’re rock solid like that!”

Shachimaru let out a confident chuckle. He really was reliable. Our first meeting had been pretty wild, but I owed him a lot for how he’d taken care of everything.

So I said to him. 

“Thanks. I know it’s not much, but let me return the favor. I will do anything, just say the word.”

To which he replied.

“Did I hear you say ‘anything’?”

“…Nope, I didn’t say that.”

“Crowbar Bro~… A real man doesn’t go back on his word, you know~?”

“Ahhh damn it, my mouth slipped!”

And so, with all that going on, it was decided that I’d be staying with the Ferocious Shark Gang for a while.

“So that means… Hell yeah! Crowbar Bro’s joining the Ferocious Shark Gang!? Woo-hoo, this is huge!”

“Well, I mean… ‘joining’ might be a bit much…”

“Don’t worry about a thing! We’ll throw a proper welcome party! Just you wait! This place is gonna be lit!”

Shachimaru’s hype level was honestly a little scary. With my safety secured, my thoughts turned to the others—like Botan.

“Hey, Shachimaru. I had a smartphone on me… You didn’t happen to see it, did you?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got it. It was apparently getting in the way of your treatment, so I took it with me.”

Shachimaru, who had been about to return my smartphone to me, held it up just before handing it over.

“But… I’ve got one condition before I can return this to you, Crowbar Bro.”

“…What is it?”

“Please don’t turn on the power. Especially not at this base.”

“…Huh? Why not?”

When I gave him a puzzled look, Shachimaru let out a sigh and said.

“Crowbar Bro. From what I’ve heard, your enemies are the government, right? Then if the phone is powered on, then the police can pinpoint to this location with GPS tracking.”

“…Didn’t I go to your bedroom yesterday with Inaba, with my phone still turned on?”

“Ah, that’s not really a problem. Painful, sure, but that place is just one of our many bases. We’ve got various spots besides the main headquarters of the Ferocious Shark Gang.”

Because I’m the head of the Ferocious Shark Gang after all.

Wide-eyed at Shachimaru’s words, I accepted my smartphone. Now came the tricky part. After all, I couldn’t contact anyone without turning on the power. And without contact, I couldn’t confirm whether Botan and the others were safe.

So, I thought it over.

“Inaba, can I ask you a favor?”

“Yeees! What is it, Tacchan?”

Inaba responded in a tone far too friendly for someone I’d only just met. I said to her.

“I want to contact Botan and the others. Could you move me to a safe location? Away from here so I could reach out to them?”

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