Surviving in a World Teeming with Monsters with the Useless Skill 【Everyday Items Master】! I Was Just Hunting Wild Animals with a Crowbar, So Why Is Everyone Screaming It's an S-Rank Monster? - 104

Chapter 104: March Hare

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Shacchi—Shachimaru—walked past Ui, crouched down, and began checking the wounds of the fallen.

“The wounds are deep. One of them’s dead.”

“A-Aniiki! I-It was Inaba! Inaba suddenly attacked us!”

“She’s crazy! She suddenly called us traitors and—oh, right! She said she’d do the same to Crowbar Bro and kill him too!”

The ones Ui had taken down began spouting whatever they wanted to Shachimaru. Ui grew furious and felt like killing them right then and there. But Shachimaru remained calm. He looked at Ui and asked.

“Inaba, what happened here?”

“…These guys wanted to kick Tacchan out, but since they couldn’t beat him head-on, they said they’d go after the people around him, like Luna-chan.”

“Th-That’s not true! Aniiki! Inaba’s lying! She’s so stupid she’s lost her mind!”

Ui clenched her teeth and glared at the one running his mouth. The man flinched with a pathetic shriek. 

“Hii!”

Shachimaru spoke.

“I get it now. Inaba’s telling the truth, isn’t she?”

Ui widened her eyes in surprise and the others muttered in disbelief.

“No way…”

Shachimaru continued.

“I know these guys hate adults. They’ve kidnapped enemy raiders before, so they’ve got the know-how. What Inaba said makes sense.”

“Shacchi, you believe what Ui-chan said?”

“Yeah, I believe you, but Inaba…”

He frowned seriously as he spoke.

“Besides me and the older guys, the rest of the Ferocious Shark Gang isn’t gonna believe you. They’ll believe these guys and when that happens, I can’t protect you.”

“…Huh…?”

Ui didn’t quite understand what Shachimaru meant. His words were too complicated. Shachimaru stood up.

“Inaba. You know you’re low-key disliked by everyone in the Ferocious Shark Gang.”

He said it like he was confirming something. Ui flinched. 

“Ugh…”

It was true—Ui had always been disliked by the gang. Most of them ignored her. And to be honest, Ui never really liked them either. Shachimaru went on.

“These guys, despite all the nonsense they’re saying now, are generally loyal to the gang. So no matter what they say, the Ferocious Shark Gang will side with them.”

“B-But! If you let them be, Tacchan—!”

“You should’ve come to me before doing anything!”

He shot back with force, and Ui froze.

“Inaba! Remember what I said when you killed those guys before and I covered it up!? I told you, they barely remembered it because you offed them so fast! And I told you—don’t ever kill fellow members again!”

Hearing Shachimaru say that made Ui recall what she’d forgotten. Right. They didn’t forget because they were dumb. They forgot because she killed them so quickly there wasn’t time for anything to stick in their memory.

“If you’d come to me, I could’ve handled it! But since you killed them, now the Ferocious Shark Gang’s gonna jump at the chance to make you the villain! There’s no court of law in the quarantine zone! Facts don’t matter here!”

“…But Ui-chan didn’t do anything wrong. Tacchan’s enemies are Ui-chan’s enemies. Honestly, I was holding back a lot even.”

“Then why can’t you understand that you need to be smart about this!? Look at this mess! How are we supposed to clean this up now!?”

Shachimaru clawed at his hair in frustration. Ui couldn’t understand what he was struggling with.

“Ui-chan’s dumb. I don’t know how to play it smart.”

“Then at least follow the damn rules! Don’t kill or hurt your teammates! Why can’t you even do that!?”

That accusing tone of Shachimaru’s… Finally pushed Ui past her limit.

“Shacchi! Whose side are you on!? You said you believed me! So why are you blaming me when I didn’t do anything wrong!?”

“Are you saying hurting your comrades isn’t wrong!?”

“I already told you! These guys are Tacchan’s enemies! And Tacchan’s enemies are Ui-chan’s enemies! They’re not comrades!”

Ui acted purely on emotion and began teleporting her knife in rapid succession. Everyone from the Ferocious Shark Gang present—except for Shachimaru—had their skulls pierced and died instantly.

“Inaba, you…!”

“What!? Got a problem!? Then you wanna go too, Shacchi!? Fine! Let’s settle this here and now—see who’s stronger!”

Ui called the knife back and, gritting her teeth, glared at Shachimaru. She was crying. Even as she glared at him, tears streamed down her face. She didn’t even know why she was crying.

Ui was stupid. She didn’t even understand herself.

“…Inaba…!”

Shachimaru quickly reached for a plastic bottle. A bottle of water—his weapon. Ui thought to herself. 

There’s no turning back now. Shacchi understood me… So why do we have to end up trying to kill each other?

That was when… Luna appeared, throwing everything into disarray.

“…What are you two doing…?”

“Ah. Lu-Luna-chan…”

“Ah! U-Uh, well, Luna-chan, this is, um…”

Even trying to play it off, neither of them could lower their weapons. They stood awkwardly, unable to hide anything from Luna.

“Are you fighting? …Huh…? A-Are all those people… Dead…?”

At Luna’s question… Ui answered.

“Yeah. That’s right. Ui-chan killed them. They were trying to hurt Tacchan and they said they’d kidnap you too, Luna-chan.”

“Eh…!?”

Luna’s eyes widened at Ui’s explanation. Then, she turned to Shachimaru and asked.

“Why… Why is Shachimaru trying to fight Ui? Didn’t she do the right thing…?”

“…Luna-chan, it’s too complicated for you to understand.”

The tension in Shachimaru returned. Sensing it, Ui also returned to a battle stance. Ui said.

“Luna-chan, Ui-chan doesn’t want to hurt you. So please, run away?”

“Yeah. Luna-chan, I’ll give you enough time to get away. Just go, now.”

As a matter of principle, the two of them agreed on this one thing. There was no stopping the fight, but they couldn’t let an innocent girl like Luna get caught up in it. The only one who didn’t agree… 

Was Luna.

“N-No! If I leave, then you two will fight, right!? No! Friends shouldn’t fight each other!”

“Luna-chan, please…”

“We might be dumb, but we don’t want to hurt you.”

“B-But… but…”

Tears welled in Luna’s eyes as she shook her head. The situation grew more and more tense. Neither of them could even call out to her anymore.

Little Luna couldn’t take it. She burst into tears, trembling with fear. There was just one thing—one unexpected factor for both Ui and Shachimaru.

Luna had something better than running away. A wonderful kind of magic.

“Ah,【I bestow names upon you】!”

The words felt… Alien to them. Both Ui and Shachimaru found themselves looking into Luna’s eyes.

“Ah…”

“Huh…?”

A strange sensation crept into Ui. Luna’s eyes had turned pink. Just seeing them made it feel like her presence and words were seeping into Ui’s very being. Luna pointed at Ui.

“【You are March Hare】.”

“U-Ui, Ui-chan, Mar… March… Hair…?”

Then she pointed at Shachimaru.

“Shachimaru, um… You’re part of the Ferocious Shark Gang, and since a ‘wani’ is a reptile… 【You’re Bill the Lizard】!”

“T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T—!!”

As Luna’s words sank in, the initial strangeness Ui felt began to dissolve. March Hare. The March Hare. Crazy like a rabbit in March—so March Hare. But Shachimaru was different. He clutched his head, collapsed, writhing in agony.

“Ah! Shachimaru, are you okay? Please calm down. Don’t suffer. It’s okay. 【Naming】 just makes us friends. Don’t resist it.”

“G-Ghh… Gah…”

Luna touched Shachimaru and gazed into his eyes with her pink ones. Shachimaru foamed at the mouth, trembling violently—then gradually stopped moving.

“R-Right! Let’s 【Name】these dead people too! That way, no one has to be scared! After all, with 【Naming】, even the dead can come back to life!”

Luna stood before the corpses and spoke.

“【I bestow names upon you. Your name is Dancing Tea Set.】”

Her words triggered a transformation in the corpses. But unlike Ui and the others, their change was fundamental—as if altering their very existence.

“Wow…! Amazing! It worked perfectly!”

The corpses twisted and morphed, becoming human-sized tea sets. No one would believe they’d once been people.

A massive teapot blew steam, oversized teacups spun around, clinking merrily. The rhythm sounded almost like music. The clinks, the hissing steam—like a cheerful tune. Seeing that, the now-calm March Hare hugged the princess.

“Wow~~~! Princess-sama,Princess-sama, this is so much fun!”

“Yes! Just like the tea party in Alice in Wonderland! Oh! Then we need the Mad Hatter too!”

As soon as she said it, a goblin in gentleman’s clothing and a top hat popped out from her shadow.

“Did someone call? It’s Princess-san. Oh? We got a newcomer. The name’s Mad Hatter. You?”

“March Hare is March Hare~!”

“Nice! All we need now is the sleepy Dormouse, and the mad tea party’s complete.”

“I can’t wait!”

March Hare realized something then: all the sadness and anger from before had vanished. It was strange. But it made her happy. So she hugged the princess tightly.

“March Hare? You’re a little too close… I’s hot, you know?”

“Ehehe~! Bear with it? March Hare just loves Princess-sama so much!”

“Really!? I’m so happy!”

The Princess and March Hare laughed and giggled together. Beside them, the Mad Hatter said.

“So, who’s this guy still resisting everything?”

“Yes! That’s Bill the Lizard!”

“Guhh… N-no… I… I’m…”

“Wow, this one’s got a strong ego. His brain is all scrambled. Princess-san, he’s pitiful like this. Give him a stronger naming—”

That was when a familiar voice rang out.

“…What… Is this…?”

Everyone except Bill the Lizard looked toward the entrance. Standing there was Tacchan, frozen in disbelief.

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