Chapter 16: Meal

We paid one million gold to the branch chief and finally got our long-awaited home.

Before heading back, we decided to pick up essentials like futons and toothbrushes, so we came to the shop recommended by the branch chief.

“Wow, there’s so much here!”

First, we headed to the knife section to buy a kitchen knife, but there were just too many varieties.
Different lengths, thicknesses, sharpness levels, and prices—there was no way to tell which one to choose.

“Well, just pick the one you like, Liluria. You’re the one who cooks, after all.”
“………………Eh?”

“Hey, what’s with that surprised face? You’re a maid—so at least make some food!”
“Oh, come on, think it through, Master. A maid’s job is cleaning your room and taking care of your needs, right? Cooking is for the chef!”

I couldn’t help but wonder what that maid was talking about. Where in our group is a chef, anyway? Could it be she’s so desperate for companionship that she’s hallucinating?

“Liluria… could it be that you can’t cook?”
“Of course not! I’m the princess, after all—even if I were my old self, there’s no way I’d be allowed to handle something as dangerous as a knife!”

Liluria spoke so quietly that nearby customers couldn’t hear her, yet her expression was completely serious. It seemed she’d never even dreamed of being forced to cook.

“Alright, I’ll cook today—but sooner or later, I expect you to handle everything, okay?”
“What?! You’re kidding, right? Me cooking? …No way, no way, no way. And don’t come crying if a cutting board ends up in the food!”

A cutting board in the food?! That sounds like something you’d only do on purpose! There’s no normal cooking scenario where a cutting board gets chopped up!

“Anyway, I’ll just grab this cheap knife for now. If we need another, we can come back later.”
Not really sure what to do, I tossed the cheapest knife into our shopping basket. Then Liluria pointed across the shop at the butcher and said,

“Ao! Let’s have steak today—steak! On that shared carriage, all we got was stale bread and dried meat. Today, let’s treat ourselves to some luxurious meat!”

Steak, huh? Not a bad idea. That way, even if my cooking skills are lacking, the flavor’s at least guaranteed.

“Alright, steak it is today!”
“Yay!!”

~~~~~~

“………………………”

After we had gathered enough essentials and bought meat and seasonings, we returned to our new home. We were starving, so we immediately decided to eat steak. And just as we were about to grill it, a major problem was discovered.

There was no fire.

In the kitchen of this other world, there was something like a gas range that spat fire using magic. Normally, you’d just slot a commercially available, magic-charged monster core into the range, and the fire would burst out.

We attached the core we bought at the shop to the range and flipped the switch, but there was not the slightest sign of fire.

Thinking maybe the core was defective, we tried other cores too—only to have them all fail. It was then that we finally realized the range itself was broken.

“Damn it—water flows perfectly in the kitchen, so why the heck won’t the fire come out?!”

Even though steak is a simple dish that can turn out delicious even if you’re not a master chef, without fire, there’s just no way to cook it.

…Does this mean tonight’s dinner will be dried meat again?

“Ao! This is bad! The bath water flows, but there’s no hot water!!”

What the…!? Even the bath—which I had been looking forward to for so long—is off-limits now. Has God abandoned us!?

“By the way, if we had to fix all of this, how much do you think it would cost?”

“Hmm… I imagine the stove can be replaced relatively cheaply, but the bath might be a bit pricey. It’s clearly a custom job. Perhaps… around one million?”

“Wh-what, one million!?”

That’s the same price we paid for the house!
Damn it, Branch Chief! You sold us this house knowing all this, didn’t you?

I had always wondered why such a fine house cost only a million, but I never imagined it would turn out to be a scam property that requires another million just to live in!
There might be more issues waiting to be discovered—this is the worst.

Sigh, I’m exhausted.
I’ll consider this extra expense as an investment in learning, and tonight I’m going to obediently eat some lousy dried meat and sleep.
As for the money problem, I’ll think about it when I wake up tomorrow.

Clearly, we don’t have enough funds, and we’ll probably end up taking on another job, but this is something we can’t help.
Just as a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, the life of a NEET begins with a single step too.
If I can view this as a training period for a brilliant NEET lifestyle, I might feel a little better.

……No, I just can’t!

I don’t want to work. And I don’t want to face any danger!
While I was agonizing over the gap between my ideals and reality, Liluria made this suggestion:

“Since we’ve got matches, why don’t we set up a campfire right by the entrance and have a barbecue?”

That’s it!!

~~~~~~

Crack, crack, crack, crack

We broke off some random twigs, gathered them up, and lit a fire with a match. The flames quickly grew larger.
It seemed the wood was dry enough, because even adding a few more twigs made the fire burn robustly.

We fixed some twigs away from the fire to hold our meat in place.
That way, the meat would naturally roast.

Mmm, what an enticing aroma.

We scored the meat with a knife and mixed in salt and pepper. We even prepared a mysterious sauce from this other world whose ingredients are anyone’s guess. Everything was set.
All that remained was to wait for the meat to roast nicely.

If there was one thing missing, it would have been rice, but in Rozy they seem to favor bread over rice, so we couldn’t get any.
I’ve heard that in Yandrad, a country further south from Rozy, rice is the staple food.
I hope we can import some rice someday.

“Ao! The meat’s done! …Probably!”

It must have been Ao’s first barbecue ever.
Ever since Liluria started the fire, she hadn’t said a word—just kept staring at the flames.
Once the meat began roasting, she busily flipped it and changed its position repeatedly, as if determined to get it done as quickly as possible.

She put in so much effort.
I suppose I should let her have the honor of the first bite.

“Yeah, it looks nicely roasted. Liluria, you can eat first, alright?”
“Eh? Really!?”

Liluria, ever the maid, must have thought it proper to offer the meat to me first.
The fact that she managed the meat so carefully and even reported to me is proof enough.
But even though I could tell by the way she looked that she wanted the meat too, I wasn’t in any hurry to grab it from her.

We should all share the meat together.
That was the family motto in my house.
It may sound silly, but if we can’t share our meat happily, we can’t truly call ourselves a family bonded by deep ties.
I remember my dad used to say that often.

Liluria bit into the meat with gusto and cheered,

“Delicious!”

Flailing her arms and legs like a child overcome with joy, she caught my attention.
Noticing me staring, Liluria said,

“W-what’s with that leering look? Ah, I get it. You want some meat too, don’t you? Well, I guess I can’t help it.”

Liluria brought the piece of meat she was holding right up to my mouth and then uttered that legendary phrase,

“Here, open wide—ahhh.”

~~~~~~

After we finished all the meat and cleaned up from the barbecue, for some reason three guards arrived at our place.

“…What’s wrong? Is there some kind of incident?”

“Getting into trouble right after moving in—seems like you’ve moved to a scary neighborhood!”

Not knowing any other reason for the guards’ sudden arrival, we trembled at the thought of what kind of terrible incident might have occurred.

Murder? Robbery? Terrorism?