Someone Who Believes They Can Live Normally in a World Where Chastity Is Reversed (Did You Think You Could Live Normally in a World With a Male-To-Female Ratio of 1:5?)

As an otaku, I think everyone has fantasized about it.

The ideal boyfriend, the ideal date, the ideal… first kiss scenario.

Being a thoroughbred otaku, I, Shinomiya Shiori, have naturally fantasized about it too. Isekai reincarnation patterns and real-world patterns. About 20 variations in total.

Of course, since I’ve never actually kissed anyone, only the fantasy patterns keep increasing.

More than half of my fantasies involved the other person initiating the first kiss, but no matter how much I longed for it, such things didn’t happen in reality.

Well, it was fine though, since they were just fantasies.

And after countless fantasies, I’ve realized something. Dramatic and moving scenarios were great, of course, but unexpectedly simple ones could be good too.

Not too detached from reality, down-to-earth scenarios… as long as there was love, that’s enough…

Or so I think.

For example, even regular places where we always met.

If the person was a classmate, then in an empty classroom.

If the person was a senior or junior from a club activity, then in an empty club room.

If the person was a staff member at a café or bar, then at that establishment.

Then, what if the person was a home tutor? That’s right. In my own room.

Ever since I got Masato-sama, the super ultimate home tutor, I’ve fantasized about kiss scenarios with him in multiple variations.

I mean, when the other person becomes clear, fantasies flow more smoothly, right?

And after considering various scenarios…

I thought my own home might be good.

In my room, confessing and embracing—or something like that. At the entrance when seeing him off—or something like that.

Maybe Masato-san would initiate it himself…But I guess that’s unlikely. Even with that loli girl, he seemed to be just going along with it.

That’s precisely why.

I decided to take the initiative myself.

Just like that day when I decided to shed my plain girl image. Because if I didn’t move, nothing would change.

And so.

“I-I also l-like you, Masato-san!”

Gathering my courage, expressing my feelings. Aiming for Masato-san’s beautiful face—

—Thunk.

Despite having more than my fair share of fantasies. Reality didn’t work out so neatly.

“I am a microorganism with no value to live. Please forget about me, thank you for the match.”

“W-wait, you don’t need to say it like that…?”

Yes.

Currently, I was sitting in a fetal position under my study desk, staring at the floor with dead eyes.

“What happened earlier, well, it might have been a failure, but… um, first times are difficult.”

“I’m garbage with no right to live who only fantasizes but can’t apply any of that knowledge despite being full of it. I’m sorry for existing.”

“This is bad, her spirit is completely broken…”

I truly wanted to die. My first kiss, attempted with the determination of a lifetime.

It completely failed… I just ended up being that weirdo who pressed her face against someone else’s face.

Since I closed my eyes, I couldn’t aim properly. There’s no auto-aim in reality, so I simply missed and landed off-target. That’s all.

“I want to disappear right now…”

“What should I do…”

I was aware that I was currently troubling Masato-san, but this was beyond help. Because everything was over now.

A woman who confessed her feelings but couldn’t even kiss properly. No one would want someone like that around.

They’d want to distance themselves. If it were me, I’d definitely cut ties.

This was a level of mess-up that might mean he won’t come next week anymore.

“Um… I was a bit surprised, but how should I put this… I was really happy about your feelings.”

“…”

[Was happy.]

I’m not stupid enough to not understand the meaning of that past tense.

Was happy. But.

Was happy. However.

What follows was surely an adversative conjunction.

I could feel my body growing cold all at once. Today might be the last time I see Masato-san.

Just thinking about that made me want to cry.

I hate this.

I fully understand I was in no position to say this after making such a mistake

But the thought of not seeing Masato-san anymore, of losing my connection with him, made my heart constrict painfully.

Masato-san sat down next to me as I buried my face in my knees. I felt sorry for making him sit on the floor like this, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

“…You know, I’ve finally realized recently. How my actions and words are perceived by people close to me… by girls.”

All I could do was silently listen to Masato-san’s words.

“For me, it was normal, and I wasn’t particularly trying to be thought of favorably or anything… but I’m genuinely happy when someone thinks well of me. However, I’ve finally realized that if I act the same way with everyone… it might not be good.”

Indeed, Masato-san was too wonderful. He’s so great to be with that I think no woman could avoid falling for him.

“So, from now on, I think I’ll… stop treating everyone the same way. It probably won’t happen immediately, but I’ll try, little by little.”

I could feel my already low spirits sinking even further.

…Ah, I see.

So I too will be kept at a distance by Masato-san from now on.

Even though I finally reached a point where he would talk to me casually despite knowing I was an otaku. Even though I thought we had become close.

I shouldn’t have confessed, shouldn’t have tried to kiss him after all. Because I got conceited and did such things.

God has punished me.

Because I wanted more, even though I was already happy. Maybe it’s only natural. I was just experiencing happiness beyond what I deserved until now.

Today is the worst day of my life.

I really want to die—

“However.”

The atmosphere changed slightly.

“It’s impossible for me to be cold to people I’ve already become close with. Because I really like everyone. And that includes you, Shiori-chan.”

For some reason, I sensed an atmosphere of nervousness from Masato-san.

I could tell because I had felt the same nervousness today when I conveyed my feelings to Masato-san and decided to kiss him.

But why?

“So, um… I want to continue being friends with Shiori-chan. Because of my position as a tutor, I can’t give an OK to that confession right now… but if possible, would you still let me continue teaching you?”

“…Th-that, of course makes me happy, but…”

I was happy that he would continue being my tutor.

At least I had avoided the worst-case scenario I had imagined.

…However, thinking that I would forever remain in Masato-san’s memory as the girl who couldn’t even kiss properly… made me feel dejected.

I could easily imagine being laughed at by those worthless classmates of mine.

“But I’m sure from now on, I’ll remain in Masato-san’s memory as the creepy girl who couldn’t even kiss properly, right?”

“No, I don’t think that at all!”

“Today is the worst day of my life. I’ve made a spectacle of myself. If possible, I’d like to reload from this morning’s save data.”

“Ah, alright! I get it, Shiori-chan!”

Masato-san placed his hand on my shoulder, which startled me a little, and I looked up.

—In that moment.

The soft sensation touching my cheek.

It lasted only an instant. But it was incredibly intense.

“F-for now, be satisfied with this, okay? This way, today won’t be an unpleasant memory, right?”

I placed my hand on my cheek. It took me a few seconds to understand that he had kissed me on the cheek.

“Th-that was fast…”

“There, this conversation is over! Let’s study, let’s study!”

The sound of my heart suddenly racing. Rising emotions.

At the same time, the feelings I had been desperately holding back completely burst forth.

“Whoa?!”

I stood up and from behind, pushed Masato-san down toward the bed in my room.

I straddled Masato-san and took a moment to calm my wild breathing.

“Sh-Shiori-chan?”

I looked down at Masato-san’s slightly flustered face… A tingling sensation of pleasure ran down my spine.

“Masato-san. You’re underestimating a virgin’s sexual desire too much.”

“What’s that… hey—”

Without letting him speak. I devoured Masato-san as if to make up for my earlier failure. I don’t remember much of what happened after that.

But… one thing is certain—it was amazing.

***

“I’m terribly sorry!!!”

“Um…”

Dogeza time☆

I mean, right?

The latter half was practically rape, you know?

I’m reflecting on it. But I don’t regret it, I’m really sorry (huh?)

“Um, how should I put this, before I knew it my body was moving on its own…”

“Yeah, well, I guess that’s how it was…”

Masato-san sighed while fixing his disheveled clothes. Well, I was the one who messed them up.

His appearance could be considered criminally erotic. Even though we had just done all sorts of things, just looking at Masato-san made me want to do it again—truly, my existence was beyond help.

Still, we were in no state to study now. Masato-san scratched his head and sighed once more.

“…But this is my fault, isn’t it?”

“Huh…?”

That couldn’t be right.

If this were reported to the police—no, even without that, if the general public saw this situation, 100 out of 100 people would condemn me.

Ah, well, maybe a few virgins might defend me.

“…Until now, I’ve just vaguely liked everyone and thought it would be nice to stay friends like this. But that’s not good enough, is it?”

Masato-san’s expression as he said this was unusually serious.

“I need to make things clear, don’t I? So, just wait a little bit.”

…It was only then that I realized.

Perhaps I had pulled the trigger that would force Masato-san to make a big decision.