Someone Who Believes They Can Live Normally in a World Where Chastity Is Reversed (Did You Think You Could Live Normally in a World With a Male-To-Female Ratio of 1:5?)

“……Haa……”

Lately, I’ve been sighing a lot.

Today was Wednesday. The middle of the week, the halfway point. While Thursdays and Fridays were just around the corner, and you think you can push through, this Wednesday still tends to bring melancholy to us office workers.

I think many people can relate to that.

“Seira, what’s wrong? You were so full of energy lately.”

“Miki-san…”

Recently, Miki-san, one of my seniors, has become so friendly that she calls me by my first name. She’s trusted by everyone at work as a capable senior. …Well, at least at work… I feel the same way…

Maybe it’s because I found out something about her I didn’t want to know, but I can’t help but look at her strangely. But still, Miki-san is a good person.

“Well, the boss is being annoying too, so nobody feels motivated in the middle of the week, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right…”

The reason I’m feeling down isn’t because of that… Of course, I can’t say.

“Well, how about we go out ‘party’ again this weekend?”

“…Sure.”

My chest twinges sharply.

I know she’s saying it out of kindness, but that word is difficult for me to hear right now. Watching Miki-san go off to greet other coworkers with a smile, I open my smartphone.

Making sure there’s no one around… I opened the memo app.

There, I see the surname ‘Katasato’ and… an address.

(This is terrible… I know it’s a crime…)

That day.

The day I found Masato-kun and ended up stalking him all the way to his house.Since then, something heavy has nested in my heart. What did I want to accomplish by identifying his address?

In the end, the weekend after that was spent in a daze… I did nothing while staring at the address on my phone.

I thought about deleting it, of course. To erase information obtained through such a criminal act and just greet Masato-kun with a bright smile again.

That’s what I thought. He’s such a nice guy. If I casually ask, “Hey, by any chance, do you live in that direction? I saw someone who looked like you in the park on my way home,” he’d probably answer.

But… I couldn’t do it. A part of me, a shameful part, clung to this information.

Information about him that I learned for the first time.

Until now, the relationship between us was of a regular customer and a clerk, nothing more or less. In fact, saying anything more would just make me pitiable in the eyes of others.

…But then, I started to think that maybe this newfound information could change things.

That maybe, if I could somehow meet him in his private life by pretending it to be a coincidence… I felt a surge of excitement at the thought.

I’m such a despicable person.

But… I had no choice but to cling to it.

To break through this current situation, this fragile state of affairs, and get closer to him, the angelic him.

I felt like I had to break the taboo. That’s what I thought.

“……Haa”

Another sigh escaped me. In the end, I’m not good for anything. Not right now, at least. Even though I can’t bring myself to delete it, I haven’t taken any action either. I’m a hopeless mess, and on top of that, I’m cowardly.

Truly, there’s no saving me.

“Ah, sighing again!”

“Hya?!”

“W-What’s wrong? Why are you in such a hurry?”

Before I knew it, Miki-san had returned to where I was.

If she sees my phone screen now, my life is over! I quickly hid the screen.

“Even I wouldn’t just peek at someone’s phone without permission. So, what’s up? A guy?”

“N-no, it’s not…”

“Eh, then did you buy Masato-kun’s photo book?!”

“What are you talking about…”

A photo book of a bar’s waiter? Is there even such a thing?

…Anyway, it’s a relief that she didn’t find out what was in my memo app.

At this rate, Miki-san probably plans to go to that bar again on Friday. Naturally, I’ll be invited… I think. What kind of face should I make when I see Masato-kun?

If I make a weird expression, he might get suspicious… But if I’m asked if I can meet him as usual, I’m not confident.

As I was feeling anxious like that, Miki-san looked at me with a puzzled expression, then tried to return to her desk, so I just asked about what’s bothering me for now. Well, it’s more of a confirmation.

Basic etiquette as a working adult is to confirm and consult.

“By the way, how much does Masato-kun’s photo book sell for?”

“I don’t know.”

—-

“What a pain, why am I the only one stuck with overtime because of that boss…”

In the end, I was the only one in the department who was forced to work overtime for some reason or another, and I headed home. I didn’t end up staying too late because I finished quickly, but it was still wasted effort.

“I’ll go home early today and play games and sleep…”

I check my watch. It’s pointing to 7 p.m. Although it’s approaching summer, 7 p.m. is already quite dark. Despite that, the area in front of the station was well lit with streetlights and facility lights.

(Come to think of it, I was going to buy some toner and moisturizer…)

As I approach the station, I remember that my skincare products are running low. Fortunately, there’s a large drugstore near the station, so I’ll buy them there. With that in mind, I slightly changed my course and headed towards the drugstore.

I closed my smartphone and looked up.

――That’s when it happened.

At the entrance of the drugstore. In the crowded throng of people heading towards the station.

A boy was handing a handkerchief to a girl wearing a mask. At first glance, you’d just think they were a couple or something. The boy was wearing a familiar school uniform.

Although his hairstyle was different from usual, my eyes, full of longing, couldn’t be fooled.

“Masato-kun…?”

A voice escaped.

Of course, it was a volume that shouldn’t reach him. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the station, easily drowned out.

Even so, my mouth remained agape. Of course, I didn’t recognize the girl.

She seemed to be crying. It felt like encountering a part of a story.

The sounds and people around disappeared, leaving only the two of them vividly in my mind.

As if…

A scene where a prince and a princess meet. Where the princess’s heart melts by the prince’s kindness.

Me…?

Dark emotions surged. As I watched this encounter from the sidelines, who am I? Just a mob, envious of the meeting with the main heroine?

A side character, unilaterally infatuated with the hero boy, deemed nothing but a nuisance by the readers?

No.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I… I… I… I… !!

It’s me and Masato-kun—!!!!

“…!”

With a feeling of nausea, I put my hand on my knee.

Lately, I’ve been tossed around by such ugly emotions. But, I don’t want to give up.

I tightly grasp the area around my pounding heart and stare blankly at the girl.

She was wearing a mask. Her face was streaked with tears… Her hair was disheveled, and her clothes were stained in places, as if she had been crawling.

Honestly, it’s not a state that could be considered cute.

(If it’s a girl like this, even I…)

“…Cough Cough”

No, it’s not…!

As soon as I thought that, I felt nauseous about my own trashiness.

Ugly. Truly ugly.

A mob jealous of the heroine. Such a position suits my despicable self.

I whipped my trembling legs and followed after Masato-kun. Tomorrow’s work, shopping, I couldn’t care less about them anymore.

—

As I arrived at the shop and entered, a cashier I’d never seen before greeted me.

“Welcome, miss. Is it your first time here?”

“No…”

“I see! Do you have any preferences or requests?”

“…Masato-kun.”

“Ah! Could it be, you’re the young lady who often requests Masato?”

Ah. Just for this.

Just hearing this, my heart is soothed.

In this shop, just thinking that I’m the only one who has Masato’s attention, my heart trembled with joy.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“You’re lucky, miss! Masato wasn’t supposed to be here today, but he happened to be. It’ll take a little time, so please wait. I’ll guide you.”

It’s not by chance. If I said that, it would surely put him off, so I followed silently. Led to my seat, a glass for alcohol was placed.

I came impulsively, but what should I say? Who was the girl I just met?

No, if I ask like that, it’ll be obvious I was watching. Does he have a girlfriend?

…Probably not, considering the nature of this place, but if, by some chance, she’s here, I don’t know what I’ll do. Let’s not go there. Unable to come to a conclusion, I sat there, and then he came.

His slicked-back hair suited him. The contrast between his gentle demeanor and the strong image of his slicked-back hair made my heart skip a beat.

“Good evening, Seira-san. You came again.”

“…Yes.”

As I suspected, it was him. I thought there might be a one in a billion chance I mistook him, but that wasn’t the case.

There’s no way I’d mistake Masato-kun.

“But I was surprised. You said you only come on Fridays.”

“…I saw you going into this shop outside…”

Half a lie. I’ve been watching since before that. Since you were being kind to that girl…

Dark emotions resurfaced.

“Oh, I see! I was just shopping! Since I wasn’t scheduled to work today, I’m still in my uniform! It’s embarrassing, isn’t it, surprisingly…”

Just shopping? That’s not it, right? You were with the girl, weren’t you? Who is that girl?

Why won’t you tell me?

Emotions boiled over like a simmering pot. I couldn’t hold back my tears.

“It’s okay. Here, you can say whatever you want without hiding anything. I don’t know what happened to you, Seira-san, but… I actually quite like listening to you talk like usual.”

“…!”

The boiling emotions were cooled by his kindness. At the same time—realizing I had stalked him threw my emotions into turmoil.

To be so ugly as to envy such a kind person and even stalk them.

I realized what a terrible person I am.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…! I…!”

I stalked you.

I saw what happened today.

I can’t say it.

If you hate me, I’ll die.

I can’t say it.

A comforting hand rubs my back.

“It’s okay. I don’t know what happened… but you’re surely not at fault. You’re a good person, Seira-san.”